Experiencing the sudden recovery of a repressed memory has given me important insight into the process of mind control. We have all heard of repressed memories but I didn't understand how they worked.
*Little did I realize I was carrying my own repressed memory around with me for decades...*
The moment that repressed memory came flooding back I was gifted a valuable insight into how the process of mind compartmentalisation works. It was a bizarre and fascinating experience. The visceral process of this remembering has never left me.
## Repressed Memories
The human mind has inbuilt mechanisms to ensure that the our lives are not spent reliving memories of traumatic events. It's a safety valve for us and explains why many people don't remember the moment of impact in serious crashes. I have read some opinions that repressed memories aren't real and not to be trusted. I am here to tell you that they are real and my experience was more vivid than *normal* memories.
As usual the evil in this world desires to twist anything positive to become negative and be used against us. The understanding of how the human mind works during traumatic experiences is used throughout the world by governments and more nefarious organisations to create mind controlled slaves for horrendous activities like murder, spying and sexual abuse.
Although I understood that the manipulation of human minds had been occurring for untold centuries I had no personal experience from which to base any knowledge from. All that changed in my my early 20s.
## It All Came Flooding Back And I Could See The Dust Particles Dancing In The Sunlight...
Repressed memories are strange things. If you've never experienced the remembering of one it will be difficult to empathise with the experience so I will try to be as succinct as possible.
One evening I was having dinner at a lovely restaurant in Australia with my family, a cousin from France and my girlfriend from London. We were the only ones sitting in a tiny courtyard sheltered by trees behind our favourite restaurant. It was summer and we were all gently lulled by the perfume of the trees, the red wine and a large Italian meal.
As I chatted with my father, brother and cousin on my right the sound of the conversation my mother was having with my girlfriend filtered into my left ear. Because I had been DJing for several years at that point, I was perfectly used to listening to two different audio sources simultaneously - all DJs before digital DJing could do this.
I wasn't really listing to the conversation my mother was having with my girlfriend but then all of a sudden my subconsious mind understood what she was saying, and t.h.e.n........ BANG! I was physically rocked by a long hidden memory exploding up my spinal column and throughout every cell in my body.
The memory that was unleashed was so violent and powerful that all other sounds drowned out and mentally I was not in that enchanted garden any longer, I was reliving memories from age of 3. I relived that entire memory and it was incredibly vivid. I could remember the smells, my fear, pain and the tiny flecks of dust swirling around in the sunlight.
Those memories are still as strong in my mind today as they were the moment I remembered them. I suspect this will be the case all my life. This process of remembering has given me invaluable insight into the statements made by survivors of mind control.
What happened to me was traumatic but not part of a mind control or abuse scenario. It just goes to show how these process happen on their own without the need for a premeditated program.
*I bet you are now wondering what happened to me.... 😉*
## I Will Tell You But It's Not Pleasant
I do warn you that what happened to me still makes me squeamish and everybody I have ever related this experience to has pulled a grimaced face *- much as I am doing now! 😳*
At the age of 3 my family was living in Europe. I have many memories from this age so having memories of this time in my life is not unusual. When this happened I had been suffering from an recurring infection in my urethra making it incredibly painful for me to urinate.
My mother was at work and I was home alone with my father who has always been an irresponsible and incompetent guardian. At this point in my life I already had a black and broken front tooth from when my father pushed me down some steps in a pram without securing me. I fell out smashing my little teeth and face on the concrete stairs.
Fortunately throughout our lives we had our mother who is both competent and responsible. If she had been there what was about to happen to me would not have happened.
Trying to relieve my pain my father called a local nurse who came to our house. The nurse was a huge germanic, gruff woman. She took me to the toilet and proceeded to insert a piece of metal wire into my urethra in a misguided attempt to clear the blockage.
As you would expect I screamed in extreme pain and it was at that moment that my memories of the event were compressed and stored somewhere deep in my subconscious, far away from where they could hurt my conscious mind. They would stay locked away inside me for over two decades. My father wrenched the door open and threw the *"nurse"* out of the premises.
That kind of healing makes no sense at all. It's invasive, scary and completely inappropriate for a 3 year old. My father should never have left me alone with that masochist.
## Another Aggressive Euro Nurse Assaulted Me But This Time I Was Ready - To Fight Back!
Interestingly this was not the last terrifying experience I was to have with a nurse during that period of my young life. The next nurse I was unlucky enough to be left alone with chased me around a hospital room brandishing a huge glass and metal injection. Once she had cornered me between two bunk beds she thought it was going to be easy. As she came at me with the big needleI committed the first violent act of my life.
Out of pure instinct I punched this terrifying nurse straight in the face - *POP!* She wasn't expecting that! I am not sure if I broke her nose but there was a lot of blood streaming out of it. Score one for me! *What do you think? 😉*
Bleeding heavily from her nose she now retained not a shred of compassion for my fear and terrible distress. This monster in a nurse's uniform grabbed me in a fury and throwing me over her knee jabbed me viciously with the big needle. This memory was never repressed but after that I knew no more. However another mad struggle soon after found me fighting off the surgeons who wanted to put me to sleep with a scary black mask. I remember the sounds of scalpels and forceps clattering to the floor as I kicked, punched and fought as hard as I could.
As usual my mother came to my rescue and insisted on coming into the operating theatre to calm and reassure me. She held my hand and promised everything would be OK. My incredible mother was right, as she usually is. She's here on Steemit but only lurking at the moment.
*Thanks mum you are the most amazing person I have ever known - except for your mother! Must run in the family! 😘*
This isn't part of the repressed memory but followed directly on from it. Nurses are normally cool and I've met some truly amazing ones. I don't know what was wrong with these nurses during this time, in this part of Europe. Racism is the most logical answer I can come up with - but that is just conjecture.
*I thought I'd add it here as a warning not to mess with kids - they will fight back! 😉*
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Image sources: [1](http://keywordsuggest.org/gallery/552165.html), [2](https://beatingtrauma.com/2016/07/06/repressed-memories-dont-lie/), [3](http://www.azquotes.com/quote/242425), [4](https://condenaststore.com/featured/new-yorker-may-8th-2017-sam-marlow.html), [5](http://dianechamberlain.com/tag/repressed-memories/).
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