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<h2><strong>Recently I was talking with one of my followers @ogoro about if you can forgive after a while and that gave me a lot to think about and I decided to talk about it.</strong></h2>
<p><img src="http://cdn2.salud180.com/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/2015/02/perdonar_.jpg" width="600" height="364"/></p>
<p><em> </em><a href="http://cdn2.salud180.com/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/2015/02/perdonar_.jpg"><em>Source imagen</em></a></p>
<p>When we forgive we are freed from a great emotional burden that we carry on our shoulders and that prevents us from enjoying life. We do not forgive to benefit the other, we forgive to free ourselves and to have a better life.</p>
<h2> Do you know how to forgive?</h2>
<h3> You can learn to do it.</h3>
<h3> Learn to forgive.</h3>
<h1>The issue of forgiveness has become very important.</h1>
<p>We have been taught, that we forgive for doing good to ourselves, not for the person who hurt us and made us suffer.</p>
<p>Perhaps this is the reason, why more and more people are talking about wanting to forgive or even forgive.</p>
<p>However, frequently, it is only a superficial forgiveness.</p>
<p>In the depths of your heart or your unconscious, anger, resentment and the desire for revenge continue to accumulate.<img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmXwfq4SPpCVRYhctoCQkBuzeEXzegSeYxG4JcAhXkbiiL/gradient%20banner.png" width="1100" height="138"/></p>
<h1><br></h1>
<h1> And what happens?</h1>
<p>That person, probably without knowing the cause, is constantly depressed, is always in a bad mood, bitter, resentful of life, etc.</p>
<ul>
<li><code><strong>Learning to forgive is not easy, although it is worth the effort.</strong></code></li>
<li><code><strong>It is important to remember that forgiveness is not an action we carry out in a moment or a day.</strong></code></li>
<li><code><strong>It is a process that needs us to work for a long time.</strong></code></li>
</ul>
<h1> How much?</h1>
<p>The time each person needs, depending on their characteristics, what they need to forgive and the time they spend.</p>
<p>The first step is that you ask yourself and be very honest when answering:</p>
<h3><em>Do you really want to forgive ... and leave this issue in the past?</em></h3>
<p><br></p>
<p><img src="http://coisadecasal.com/cdc/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/tradimento-salva-coppia-604x370.jpg"/></p>
<p><em> </em><a href="http://coisadecasal.com/cdc/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/tradimento-salva-coppia-604x370.jpg"><em>Source imagen</em></a></p>
<h1> Why?</h1>
<p>Reflect carefully on both questions, answer them in writing and save that page, to reread it whenever you need it and if you are convinced that you want to forgive, go ahead.</p>
<p>When we want to learn to forgive, whether to others or to ourselves, it is important to start with small things.</p>
<p>Remember that forgiveness is a decision, therefore, the first thing you should do is express your commitment to work, to forgive, in a loud voice and / or in writing.</p>
<p>The second is to recognize that they have hurt us, that they have offended us and that we have the right to be treated with respect.</p>
<p>That we are as valuable as any other human being and we deserve to respect our feelings and needs, just as we respect those of others.</p>
<p>It is important to accept that we feel pain, anger and any other feeling that we have.</p>
<p>It is necessary to recognize and let out all the negative emotions we have in relation to the person and the situation we want to work.</p>
<p>If you are angry with that same person, for many other things, you are not the best person to start learning to forgive.</p>
<p>When you express your negative emotions, do not do it in front of the person with whom you are angry, because it is not that they end up arguing or arguing.</p>
<p><strong>This is a job that you do, with you.</strong></p>
<p>In fact, it is important to do it when you are alone, in a place and time where you will not be interrupted and when you do not have to find yourself, then, with any other person.</p>
<p><strong>To facilitate the recognition and externalization of your emotions you can:</strong></p>
<p>Imagine that you are in front of you and yell at everything you want, use a cushion and hit him with a stick or racket, thinking about him and saying, every time you hit:</p>
<ul>
<li><code><strong>I feel…,</strong></code></li>
<li><code><strong>you are…</strong></code></li>
</ul>
<p>You can write him a letter, putting everything you feel and think of him, with the vocabulary you want, YOU WILL NOT GO TO SEND.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.sayidaty.net/sites/default/files/pictures/10/02/2013/shutterstock_106000754.jpg" width="1000" height="805"/></p>
<p><em> </em><a href="http://www.sayidaty.net/sites/default/files/pictures/10/02/2013/shutterstock_106000754.jpg"><em>Source imagen</em></a></p>
<p>Once you believe you have expressed all your courage, look for other emotions hidden behind courage.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>Humiliation, disappointment, sadness, fear, you felt rejected, there is pain because you were not loved, reacted your inner child that was so often despised?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>Behind the courage, there are almost always other feelings that we are not very aware of, but which are not less painful.</p>
<p>Look for them, accept them and express them.</p>
<p>One way to do it, is imagining that this would have happened to another person, someone we know and love.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>What would that person have felt?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Write down everything you can think of, without thinking or analyzing it.</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>In what other occasions have you felt like this?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Did this person who hurt you or this situation arouse some memory of something similar that you experienced?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>If so, think about it and see what both situations look like.</p>
<p>This process can take a couple of hours or many days, do not rush.</p>
<p>Go back to it, until you feel that there is nothing new you can add.</p>
<p>Now, think about the worst thing that could happen to you in life.</p>
<p>In something that is objective, logical and probable.</p>
<p>Write it and give it a 10 rating, where 10 is the most important.</p>
<p>Write down the 3 most important things, positive or negative, that have happened to you throughout your life and rate them from 1 to 10, according to their importance.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>Is the situation that you are working within these three?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>If not, what number would you give him?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Do your courage, pain and all the other negative emotions you feel, in relation to the person you want to forgive, are proportional to what he did to you?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>If you think they are not, why do you think your reaction was so intense?</strong></em></code><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmXwfq4SPpCVRYhctoCQkBuzeEXzegSeYxG4JcAhXkbiiL/gradient%20banner.png" width="1100" height="138"/></p>
<p><br></p>
<p><br></p>
<p>This last step and the next, do not do it before you have recognized and expressed all your negative emotions, because if you do, you will be <strong>"burying"</strong> even more these emotions and you will cause problems without knowing why you feel so wrong, for no apparent reason.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>Also, if you do not really recognize your anger and your pain, how are you going to forgive? What are you going to forgive?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>Now put yourself in the place of the person who hurt or damaged you.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>If you had your story, your past and your present, what would you say when they asked you why you did it?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>How do you think he sees what happened</p>
<p><code><em><strong>Why do you see it like that?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>Preferably answer everything in writing.</p>
<p>If a person is mentally healthy, it is not totally bad or totally good, so when he does something bad, from his point of view and taking into account his personal history, he has his motives and for him, that's fine.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>You do not have to share your way of thinking and feeling, nor your values, but can you understand it?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Can you see their behavior, as a result of their own emotional lacks or their painful experiences?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>It is not that you justify it and feel bad for your first reaction and the feelings you had for so long.</p>
<p>His conduct is reprehensible and if he needs punishment or deserves to be applied justice, it must be done.</p>
<p>But it is important to see the person from another point of view, in its entirety.</p>
<p>A person is more than their behaviors.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>Could it be that that person hurt you, because you expected a lot from her?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Because I did not know what you wanted?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Or did the person abandon you, because they fought all day?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>Sometimes we do not receive what we want or need and that hurts and angers us, because others do not know it.</p>
<p>We do not say it or we do it in an inadequate way.</p>
<p>If so, it is our responsibility to do so and perhaps we have to forgive ourselves, too, for our participation in what happened.</p>
<p>The next step is to imagine that you are facing that person.</p>
<p>Close your eyes and veil in front of you.<img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmXwfq4SPpCVRYhctoCQkBuzeEXzegSeYxG4JcAhXkbiiL/gradient%20banner.png" width="1100" height="138"/></p>
<h1><br></h1>
<h1>What do you feel?</h1>
<p>If all the negative feelings return, with all their original strength or with great intensity, you need to go back to work the previous steps.</p>
<p>If your strength has diminished considerably, talk to that person.</p>
<p>Say or ask what you want and listen to what it says.</p>
<p><code><em><strong>Can you see that person as a vulnerable being, with certain weaknesses and needs?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Can you feel your pain, at certain times?</strong></em></code></p>
<p><code><em><strong>Does this pain, what you see in it, help you to renounce the desire for revenge, the courage and the hatred that you feel for it?</strong></em></code></p>
<p>Saw your eyes, imagine in front of you standing, with a black cloud above him and say, I forgive you, and as you say those words imagine that a white light comes down from the sky and surrounds you, causing a feeling of peace and tranquility, while the Black cloud fades.</p>
<ul>
<li>Breathe three times slowly and open your eyes.</li>
<li>Carrying out this process, once, is never enough.</li>
</ul>
<p>Only you can decide how many times and for how long you have to work with each person and with yourself to achieve true forgiveness on each occasion. But what I can guarantee is that, if you forgive your heart, your life will change.<img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmXwfq4SPpCVRYhctoCQkBuzeEXzegSeYxG4JcAhXkbiiL/gradient%20banner.png" width="1100" height="138"/></p>
<h1><br></h1>
<h1>If you like my writing I invite you to read my previous article:</h1>
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<h3>I hope you liked it, thanks for taking 5 minutes of your time to read my publication.</h3>
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