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<br><br> My friendship with Meg was complicating my plans for a future with Priscilla—spending time with her had been mad and exciting but the late night drinks at the Flatiron Building marked a watershed in our relationship.
Meg's free-spirited ways were intoxicating in more ways than one and I felt I was being pulled in opposite directions. I was drawn on the one hand by the comforting prospect of stable marriage with Priscilla and on the other, felt myself succumbing to the strong undertow of emotions I always felt when Meg and I went off on one of our madcap adventures.
After spending the night drinking with her at the Flatiron Pub I couldn't get to sleep—I was haunted by vivid visions of her bright lips and shimmering red hair.
<br><br>The next day at work we both looked wasted, but Meg seemed to revel in our co-workers’ knowing glances and not too subtle comments.
It was then I realized our flirtatious relationship had gone too far, and decided to reel it in.
I made myself less available and there were no more noon hour ‘errands’ or impulsive outings after work.
<br><br> Meg became subdued, and gradually somber—and then one day she didn’t turn up for work. I thought she’d be gone a day but it turned into a week.
Murray, the head of marketing, knowing we were friends, asked if I’d drop by her home and hand deliver a file for her to work on. I reluctantly agreed.
Yes, I was conflicted, but with her, it seemed I always was.
Besides, I was right in pulling back on our relationship —at least that’s what I told myself.
<br><br> I knew I just couldn’t keep opening doors into that other reality. Priscilla was safe and predictable—but Meg made me dizzy—gave me vertigo. With her, I felt I could fly.
I scrunched my eyes trying to ward off the images, but visions spiralled toward me—a phantasmagoria of coming home to Priscilla, to a fireplace and comfortable den with drinks the colour of water freshly stirred.
And following right behind, Meg’s alternate reality. I’d open the door and step off into a starry universe. Like a lucky penny tossed in a well, I was falling then and I was falling still.
<br><br> *No!* I shouted in my head. I needed permanence—stability—to be grounded. I knew what Meg was—what she represented. She was a vagrant wish beckoning me away from responsibility and sensible living.
It was my time to settle down, to man-up and grow up. It was fun while it lasted, but this non-affair was best ended. I’d fly to the Cape, give Priscilla her ring, and together we’d begin building our dream.
<br><br><center>© 2019, John J Geddes. All rights reserved</center>
<br><br><center>[Photo]( http://www.wallpaperbetter.com/girls-wallpaper/women-redhead-face-portrait-smiling-182093 )</center>
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