<br><br> <center>*A story has no beginning or ending: one chooses
a moment of experience from which to look back or ahead.
― Graham Greene*
</center>
<br><br><center>
*Nigel*</center>
<br><br>I was on my way to Hart House to have lunch with Paige and meet Nigel, her gifted student and our new research assistant.
It was a warm spring day, perfect for beginnings and leaping onto a whole new track of being. But I wasn't deluded by the season or the optimism of starting over, nor was I jaded― just a bit older and wiser and still scarred by failure.
I place no faith in beginnings.
It's true, life has one absolute beginning and ending. but daily living has no fixed arbitrary moments to demarcate existence.
<br><br> Perhaps I should provide my apologia pro vita mea:
Our lives consist of a process of becoming that's always continuous, until one day it isn't...
And then our striving is over and hopefully someone is present to write our ending on a stone.
It may sound morose but I've come to accept disappointment and found that triumph and disaster are but two sides of the same coin.
<br><br>My musings are interrupted when I spot Paige waiting on the patio and beside her a slim, bespectacled young man who looks rumpled enough to be a central casting version of a genius.
Paige is beaming and her beauty takes my breath away.
"Cole, I'd like you to meet Nigel, my prize student and our new research assistant."
I grab his hand to shake it but am surprised by the strong grip. "Welcome to the team, " I smile, "which right now consists only of we three―but I have hopes of growing it."
<br><br>"I'm so honoured to meet you, Professor Ferguson―I've heard great things about you."
"Well, Professor Daly tends to exaggerate my abilities," I laughed.
Nigel frowned, "Actually, I was referring to the campus gossip and the positive comments you've earned on the *Rate My Professor App.*"
I looked at him puzzled. "You're kidding, right? There's not actually such a thing, is there?"
<br><br>Paige smiled compassionately. "You see, Cole―Nigel can teach us quite a few things and not just about computers."
"Uh yeah," I winced. "Maybe we should take a table and get some lunch. My blood sugar must be low. I can't be that far out of things."
Paige patted my arm. "Not to worry, Cole, it's a generational thing. Having Nigel around will keep us tuned in."
My pride was pricked and unceremoniously deflated. To think I prided myself on being au courant―but now it seems even that French phrase dates me.
Yeah, beginnings can be beneficial, if only to see reality as it truly is and see our shortcomings reflected back at us.
<br><br>We ordered the campus special, burger, fries and a shake with Nigel as the exception , supersizing everything.
*Where does he put it all?* I wondered, since he looked the portrait of the artist as a young man, starving and emaciated.
"I was wondering, Professor Ferguson," Nigel asked, between bites of his burger, "what was it that drew you to specialize in memory research?"
"First of all, you can call me, Cole, since we are going to be working together and in answer to your question, Nigel, I had certain experiences I would love to recall more fully to help me understand my own psyche."
"And what about you, Professor Daly?" He paused in mid sentence at her frown and corrected himself, "I mean Paige."
Paige frowned and stared off into space. "That's a hard one for me to explain, Nigel. If anything, I have memories I'd like to forget." She paused and stared at me.
Then, she added, "I think forgetting is Nature's way of erasing pain and allows us to go on and live."
<br><br>Nigel nodded, satisfied with her answer, but I felt a strong sense of compassion flood over me. I wanted to reach back into her past and protect her, but of course, I couldn't.
I felt so helpless and sad for her. I wanted to hold and comfort her and re-assure her everything would be all right, but I had no idea what memories abused her that she needed exorcised.
I tried hard not to look in her eyes for fear of what I'd find.
<br><br>"This has been a banner day for me," Nigel smiled, draining the last of his chocolate shake. "I get to join this team and I've met the girl of my dreams. Everything has just fallen into place."
Paige was overjoyed to hear the news. "You finally met your dream girl! See? I told you not to give up hope."
"It was an amazing date. We went to the lake and although it was warm there was a cool breeze. She was chilled, so I gave her my sweater, but she wanted me to put my arms around her and hold her close. We sat there for what seemed like forever and when I drove her back to the residence, she said she wanted to see me again. I've never clicked with a girl so fast―it's as if we were meant for each other."
"I'm so happy for you, " Paige smiled.
<br><br>It was weird seeing Paige warmly relate to Nigel. I suppose I never saw her as having maternal tendencies, but her warmth and encouragement were really touching.
Me? I'm not so certain I could have paternal feelings. I'm more concerned with how my students see me, then I am about their feelings.
Paige has this beautiful, gentle way about her that I've always taken for granted. Seeing her support Nigel opened my eyes to her kind and tender qualities.
She was so nurturing. And then it hit me―that was the way she always related to me, even back when we were in high school.
Was that the reason I never dated her―that she reminded me of my mother?
<br><br> <center>To be continued…</center>
<br><center>© 2021, John J Geddes. All rights reserved</center>
<br><center>[Photo](https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1065930)</center>
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