Hello Steemians (and my loyal followers especially),

I have concluded a wonderful, week-long stay-cation, and it flew by faster than expected which I fully expected.  I tried to slow down time with herbal supplements, but alas, I head back to work tomorrow.  

I accomplished more than I planned.  I wrote ten thousand words of my novel <i>Traffic Girl Wars</i>, the prologue of which you can read here:

https://steemit.com/writing/@johnthefelon/prologue-traffic-girl-wars-twb-first-chapter-challenge-entry

In addition, I wrote two comedy sketches.  One is about cannibalism:

https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@johnthefelon/hold-the-fava-beans-comedyopenmic-round-26

The other is about taking your Japanese girlfriend to meet your grandparents, forgetting that your grandfather had been tortured by the Japanese during World War II.

https://steemit.com/funny/@johnthefelon/farewell-my-concubine-who-never-even-gave-me-a-handy-by-fergus-balfour

If you've never read my comedy before...well, here you go.

My son and I spent time with my parents, and we shared some good laughs talking about the old days.  Anyone remember Danny Devito's character on <i>Taxi</i> and how he couldn't stand the word <i>accident</i>?  That's like my dad, expect his trigger is telling him that someone is walking their dog on his grass.  My father defends his property from would-be dog-shit-leavers like the fucking Marines defending the flag at Iwo Jima.  

He reminded me why he is the way he is.  I don't remember this, but it happened during the one time my father was entrusted with taking my two brothers and me to church.  He dressed us in our little suits and we walked out to the car.  One of our neighbors must've let his dog off the leash because the pile of dog doo was well into our yard.  My brothers and I each stepped in it, then we tracked it into the car, got it on the rugs, jumped up on the seats and got it on the seats, and then we all sat in it.  Some experiences leave scars.

I also reconnected with a Peggy Lee song from my youth.  My aunt used to sing it when men would get her down and she was sure she would die an old maid.  Looking back, my aunt was only twenty-four at the time.

Here it is.  It sums up my vacation perfectly.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3sWTnsemkIs" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>