https://img.inleo.io/DQmPt38gxGKfRAkNy8WTcbHbDTFcgE2fMgTLfrK9PhAdK6o/1000344907.jpg 



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So today was my hospital appointment, and I could not sleep much last night. I have this tendency to become mentally stressed out the day before a significant event in my life. I have pre-traumatic stress just thinking about any potential physical or mental stress that I might face, and as a result, I could not sleep much.


 I tried to figure out what might have worried me, and one of them was the thought of traveling a long distance from my home to see a specialist (I do not like travelling; I prefer short distances). 


The second reason I was so stressed was the cost of seeing this particular doctor, and I spent over three weeks worrying about how broke I would be after paying for the tests and the doctor's fee. Unfortunately, it needed to be done. The third reason was that I was worried about whether I had improved from previous tests after all of the medications I would been taking, and aside from improving, hearing about my test results gives me PTSD, which dampens my mood regardless of whether it is good or bad. 


If there is one thing I know about doctors, it is that just seeing them raises my blood pressure, and this was mostly confirmed today. The nurse who took my vitals confirmed that my blood pressure was high; I explained that it was the sight of the hospital, seeing so many people with my condition wearing gloomy faces and having depressive appearances. 


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 https://img.inleo.io/DQmX54NmJdzrvAJKPQ57zfNWdwBRRupmbQ7YzGMRVnkCdRo/1000344908.jpg 


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I told her that my blood pressure was always normal because I checked it at home, and that it was due to my fear of the hospital and the stress of traveling long distances. 

However, I ended up seeing the doctor, and they took my blood for tests; my vitals did not worsen; a few results arrived, and my results were slightly better than the previous time; however, this doctor is quite realistic; she laid everything on me and told me where I stood. Of course, because it is a chronic condition, I have to think about it while sleeping, eating, or simply trying to live my life. 


I will have certain abnormalities to remind me of what I am fighting, which may make me sad at times, but the upside is that I will never play with the medications and will never wake up thinking I am invincible; this is my reality now, and I must adapt. She did her job, even though it was very expensive. I saw a lot of people coming in for treatment, she (the doctor) was blunt in her assessments, and I did not know whether to be happy or sad. 


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 https://img.inleo.io/DQmU8nvbGTu2QomYrmTYBo4DRiPMMvrSy8zcwZasdKEFhRQ/1000344909.jpg 


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The reason being that she told me my position, and I am glad she was honest about it, but I was also sad to some extent, because in the back of my mind, I wished she could just say *"Oh it is nothing, it will disappear in two weeks time"*. It is not like I want her to lie to me, but on second thought, it might actually help me sleep better. 

## There is no sentiment here.


 They make it a point to collect every penny of their money, and seeing it all disappear feels extremely unfair. It is life; we are always giving to receive. Nothing is truly ours, not even happiness or sadness, money, beauty, or health; at some point, we must give up all of these things in order to survive.

 It is true that we need a lot in life, but getting comfortable can make us forget that there is nothing we have that truly belongs to us. 







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> **Interested in some more of my works**



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##### [Is it Easy To Make Money?](https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@josediccus/is-it-easy-to-make-money-)


##### [Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry](https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@josediccus/nigeria-a-unique-business-market-and-industry)


##### [Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification](https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@josediccus/tfgktsjk)



##### [How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin](https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@josediccus/how-to-find-the-next-big-meme-coin)


##### [Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals](https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@josediccus/snyczgol)



##### [Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection](https://peakd.com/hive-167922/@josediccus/playing-the-survival-game-human-nature-in-introspection-rufcp3)



##### ["Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe](https://hive.blog/hive-167922/@josediccus/-unpaying-the-debt-you-owe)



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![png_20230102_074302_0000.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmeV2CFmYVojVvzuFv3ZDySDqjEg2qXhfJNTjmmi5uCTss/png_20230102_074302_0000.png)









Posted Using [InLeo Alpha](https://inleo.io/@josediccus/nothing-you-own-is-truly-yours-)