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I was recently talking to a friend who was approaching thirty but finding it difficult to reckon with the fact that he was going to be thirty soon enough. This wasn't because he was scared of many things, the first was aging, and the second was not having the illusion of time.

 The illusion of having surplus time allows people to continue making mistakes and excusing themselves with the notion that they're young and they can't still afford to continue making these mistakes. One of the things young people have going for them is **time**. 

Young people believe that there's time and while this might be true, dwelling constantly on it might make it difficult for them to realize that they've been resting on the oars miscalculating the passage of time. The third thing was finding it difficult to slow down especially to meet up with the pace of others, I'll be more comprehensive in this aspect in the subsequent paragraphs. But first, let me start up with the first reason why my friend was scared of heading towards thirty. 


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## Aging & The Accompanying Frivolities

In a respite to aging, **People celebrate aging, with birthday pictures, balloons, parties, wistful indulgences, and so many other things.**  I guess when they're celebrating, they're not keyed to the belief that they're aging, they're keyed to the belief that they're alive and well and getting to spend some more time with their friends, families, and the people they love. 

This is probably one of the reasons why some people find it difficult to disclose their age to others. Subconsciously most people are obsessed with staying young forever and this is a result of so many underlying reasons. 

One of them is the appeal to look young even with time. My friend was scared of aging because of something different; the Inclination to shoulder responsibilities. In most Nigerian homes, coming of age signals responsibility, and this is something one does not get to do when they're young. 


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## The Lesser You See

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The second reason was not having the benefit of time. When people are getting to 30 or they're already 30, they often get the *"old"* vibes from those who are younger and this can be somewhat disconcerting. I am 28 and approaching 30 myself, people are often betrayed by my figure, they're taken aback when I relay my age to them and the feedback is almost the same with younger people. 

The feedback makes people feel that they do not have time. Now, this brings a feeling of haste. When people feel they're getting older, they're subconsciously hasty even if they try to convince themselves that they're not in a haste. 

Now, what exactly is this haste for? The haste is to get married and be accomplished in some aspects of life. Like having a house, a car, or being able to meet a particular financial standpoint. 


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## The Pace: Catching Up To Stability


The third was finding it difficult to meet up with the pace of others. Truth is, the more a man becomes older, they'll begin to be more streamlined, they'll no longer listen to the external voice, especially when it comes to decision-making. The same goes for a woman too, but it's slightly different in the case of a woman. In the case of my friend.

 He was dating a 22-year-old and he is 28, he found it difficult to condone the discrepancies of this young lady. She was rather interested in drama, she picks quarrels for no reason, and she was impressionistic, keying into the things she reads on the internet and bringing them into her relationship. 

On top of that, she was superficial, caring only about the moment and not reckoning with the future, my friend on the other hand wanted peace, he felt at his age, that he shouldn't be playing drama and games as this was for younger boys.

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## A Question Of Haste & Clarity


Eventually, the breakup happened. What I learned from this is that, once people begin to feel they're getting older, they begin to seek stability and clarity. Sometimes it's difficult to find these especially when your pace isn't at par with the people you're endeared to. Some people are conscious of time irrespective of their age, while some people aren't. 

People who are conscious of time are the ones who are intentional. Being intentional is showing awareness of one's state of actuality. People who understand their state of actuality often maintain a consistent pace, and this is why people might seem to be slow, but they're exponentially growing.

 Consistency is one's pace that brings growth over time. As a lady or a young man, it's important to understand that time isn't relative, while you might be under the illusion that you have time, you might just be caught out of time. 





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> **Interested in some more of my works?**



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#### @Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart

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*I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog*

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