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In earnest, things are moving so quickly in life sometimes that we hardly take time for a minute to take things slowly, learn from the process and continue. Truth is when we're caught up in the frenzy of life we don't ask questions again. When we meet up with a cute girl, we don't bother asking, *hey can I just get to know you on slowly*? We don't! Why? We are caught up in the charm of how that person looks, how we met them, did they leave a lasting impression? And this things are the things that eventually takes us away. In a brighter light, there are no special or different people In life, the only reason why we feel otherwise is because sometimes we're recipients of someone's goodwill and in that moment in time, we feel that some people can be special because of the things they exhibit on a spot but that's not an all round personality. 


We fear too much about many things as individual, the fear of being alone has obviously been of the these fears and this makes us get *subscribed to the wrong people* without us even knowing it. The word *subscribed* in my terminology means being in allegiance, committed, being hooked and well entangled with someone. *Being Subscribed* means we've got our hands full of acquaintances, many friends and well close ones especially when it also comes to romantic relationships. Without mincing words it sometimes feels horrible to not have anyone to escape with, it's seems like something is terribly wrong with us and that's why we seem so alone even when life is filled to the brim with people that can lighten up our lives. But does the fear of being free, available and around makes it such a sin for us to be caught in the spotlight without any proof or cloak that we're having a good time?

 

 Mind you, loneliness is in the world and it's obviously dwelling with people who you think are having a swell time and having fun. We can't Successfully act as *a ball and socket joint* to people because we don't know what they really want out of life, we don't know what might fill them up or what might make them fulfilled we just hook up to them without knowing so many fundamental things about them and as a result of this, we just get this temporary satisfaction from them and then we can't fufill the terms of longevity and whenever they leave, they leave a vaacum of space deep within you and then you begin to muse *"I thought she was different"* and all sort of regretful words that comes with being at loss. But the truth was that in the first place you chose to be **subscribed** rather than to go slow, be thorough and totally weary of your footsteps



In conclusion, there's no need to be judgemental and be condescending when you make mistakes, for example in 2019 I've repeated mistakes and a whole lot of them too and that's enough reason for me to call myself a fool, reel in the unpleasantcy  of the situation and well loathe myself and everything I stand for but in all honesty we're just flesh and blood and not digital computers and we can believe how far we could have come but we're just too slow, we don't learn quickly, we don't get things quickly. But in reality our brain sometimes only thinks about the things we can't do, we however aren't an engine or a combustible and even when sometimes we feel we should be immune, there's nothing wrong when you're worried about the last time you've had sex, the last time someone said something nice to you and a whole lot of frivolous things, in truth we crave acceptance and this makes us susceptible or gullible to the things we feel. **the lesson here is, don't sweat it wanting bto be subscribed is natural but doing this mostly without attachment is advisable**