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<p>Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless
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<p><b>Man in fatigues w SONY written on his forehead has handcuffed me&my sons to radiator & is forcing us to watch 8th Spider-Man reboot in 3 yrs
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<p>I always go the extra mile, which is why my friends don't let me drive
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<p><b>Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say ""Safe in your strong arms"" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
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<p>This just in! A truckload of wigs has lost control and tipped over on the highway........Police are still combing the area.
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