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<p>Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat.
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<p><b>I was asleep in a forest... ...Then suddenly woke up and saw a grizzly bent over my face. Bear ass.
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<p>In order to catch a cab, one must think like a cab first.
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<p><b>How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ? You slap him and he slaps you back !
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<p>How is being a Jew like eating a burrito? It's really not a problem until they give you gas.
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