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<p>When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are It's a ball of gas and fire It can't hear you.
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<p><b>Why doesn't Rihanna tell her boyfriend jokes anymore? He always beats her to the punchline.
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<p>Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed Wikipedia was an unreliable source, suggesting instead that I listen to him, a drunk guy at a bar
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<p><b>ME: gimme a double BARMAN: [places an exact replica of me on the bar] ME: no I meant a double Scotch BARMAN: [puts a kilt on my replica]
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<p>I had unprotected sex with a neurotic person a while back... Now I have genital worrywarts.
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