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<p>Hi, I'm Captain Morgan and this is my uptight brother, J.P.
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<p><b>What's the best way to grease a Ferrari? Run over an Italian.
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<p>I'd like to think that when pedophiles hang out one of them always asks to see the kids menu and they all have a good hearty laugh
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<p><b>[on date] Ok, don't let her know ur a vampire. Her: I think I'll have a steak. A STAKE?? [turns into bat and flies away]
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<p>I wonder if people in 3rd world countries know that we can choose between crushed and regular ice cubes.
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