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SHORT / CIRCUIT by kevinwong

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fiction · @kevinwong · (edited)
$4.39
SHORT / CIRCUIT
<center>https://s23.postimg.org/h2vp11wkb/shortcircuit.png</center>

All the whirring and buzzing in the air filled his senses. The surrounding felt thick, dusty, and unfortunately,  claustrophobic. What a terrible maze of energetic cables - its electric blue corridors sized just enough to fit an average person! The pathways were long and winding, with the occasional offshoots into adjacent rows and columns.

Section by section, he could not find the missing link. It felt like searching for a needle in a [Dyson sphere](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyson_sphere). *"This is going to take a lifetime"*, he thought as streams of sweat trickled down his cheeks, letting off steam upon contact with the heated, armoured cables on the floor. It was the almost not-okay kind-of-hot, and saltiness filled his mouth. In intermittent flashes, he experienced visions of nanomachines cleaning up his bloodstream.

Little did he know that a few lifetimes had already passed. He only had a gut feeling about it. Somewhere in the corner of his mind, he felt it. The last vestiges of machinery in the world underneath has all crumbled and grounded into obscurity. 

*"Found it."* he whispered as the aquatic traces of light slowly receded into lifeless grey.

With the help of his trusty bicepticons, he threw a mighty punch, penetrating through the shells of the cable. The contact was made and a surge of warmth was immediately felt on his forehead, between his eyes.

All the whirring and buzzing in the air filled his senses..

---

<center>https://s29.postimg.org/tk8iglttz/SOL3.png</center>
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vote details (235)
@dreemit ·
$0.03
This time I know it's fiction, haha ;) Great imagery :)
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vote details (3)
@kevinwong · 
Read it again, feels like it needed another paragraph or two to make it more substantial lol
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@fahmiauliasfr · 
Nice post 😀😄
hay friends, I am new in steemit. see also my first post, follow and upvote https://steemit.com/@fahmiauliasfr
thank you for everything, this may be a good start for me.
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vote details (1)
@jedau ·
$0.02
@dreemit said it best. This was spectacularly written! It's a very compact flash fiction, which doesn't need additional paragraphs to make it more substantial. The visuals are amazing and the details that are "lacking" really add to the gravitas of the piece.
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vote details (2)
@kevinwong · 
Thanks.. i thought to expand it but i just couldn't think anymore last night. was typing this up before sleeping. i think it could actually do with a little more reason why he's looking for the dead section
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@jedau · 
It's hard to find a balance there, but you can try to write it up and put it side by side. Sometimes, the missing elements of a tale give it more nuance, in a fill-in-the-blank sort of way. There's something special about stories that elicit different additions from the readers' imagination.
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@screenname ·
Re: SHORT / CIRCUIT
<p>This post has been ranked within the top 25 most undervalued posts in the second half of Feb 05. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $20.48 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.</p> 
<p>See the full rankings and details in <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@screenname/the-daily-tribune-most-undervalued-posts-of-feb-05---part-ii">The Daily Tribune: Feb 05 - Part II</a>. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@screenname/introducing-the-daily-tribune-most-undervalued-posts-of-nov-04---part-i">our initial post</a>.</p>
<p>If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.</p>
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