![70AB0602-1E45-40AC-BD6B-1740468309FB.jpeg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmSx5dL9qXDW7tv9SrbQizetiKUDTTHp5dyugeH1qwN8QX/70AB0602-1E45-40AC-BD6B-1740468309FB.jpeg) ![63522781-BD4F-4CC3-B076-5E2CADFE09C2.jpeg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmb6cScT63gWg5cxqDSkYsM5TbAa3X8QUERo3NGFScJ3H9/63522781-BD4F-4CC3-B076-5E2CADFE09C2.jpeg) Have you ever looked back at past pictures of yourself and wondered. This was the hairstyle I wanted as a senior in high school. Long, blonde hair — I was growing it out. It was a part of myself that I lost; and for what reason? My parents decisions seemed to defy reasonableness. So much so that I feel like a helpless victim, paralysed by betrayal. Was that love? My father told me that “real love is based in fear” — and that’s where I knew he was so confused himself. He had never been touched by the peace of universal compassion, apparently. He did not know how to love because he was never loved — in a way that caused him to differentiate fear from love. Should I hate him? Or shall I integrate those dark lessons my father taught me? When I looked at this old photo of myself; I see a new mother who had just saw a flick of herself for a moment. That hairstyle I always wanted, came. Just not as quickly as I expected. My father focused his energy on things he could not control. Living inside my house hold it was difficult to breath correctly. My escape was school, and they knew that. Maybe that’s why they were so eager to take it away. I became regardless of the environment. I grew into the person I saw in my minds eye. And I can do that process again? This time — I am aiming for my highest potential; not just a long hair style.
author | laurabell |
---|---|
permlink | forward |
category | blog |
json_metadata | {"tags":["blog","thoughts","life","ocd","journal"],"image":["https://images.hive.blog/DQmSx5dL9qXDW7tv9SrbQizetiKUDTTHp5dyugeH1qwN8QX/70AB0602-1E45-40AC-BD6B-1740468309FB.jpeg","https://images.hive.blog/DQmb6cScT63gWg5cxqDSkYsM5TbAa3X8QUERo3NGFScJ3H9/63522781-BD4F-4CC3-B076-5E2CADFE09C2.jpeg"],"app":"hiveblog/0.1","format":"markdown"} |
created | 2021-02-20 23:39:57 |
last_update | 2021-02-20 23:39:57 |
depth | 0 |
children | 6 |
last_payout | 2021-02-27 23:39:57 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 3.436 HBD |
curator_payout_value | 3.315 HBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
promoted | 0.000 HBD |
body_length | 1,692 |
author_reputation | 35,477,593,139,848 |
root_title | Forward. |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
percent_hbd | 10,000 |
post_id | 101,980,922 |
net_rshares | 18,779,278,642,985 |
author_curate_reward | "" |
voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
proctologic | 0 | 2,743,673,024 | 0.98% | ||
tuck-fheman | 0 | 3,832,222,538 | 9.8% | ||
drifter1 | 0 | 3,760,511,919 | 9.8% | ||
chris4210 | 0 | 1,332,235,542 | 9.8% | ||
scalextrix | 0 | 5,764,939,153 | 9.8% | ||
justtryme90 | 0 | 353,971,618,262 | 9.8% | ||
eric-boucher | 0 | 43,742,745,719 | 9.8% | ||
thecryptodrive | 0 | 114,982,828,134 | 3.92% | ||
mammasitta | 0 | 53,647,183,478 | 9.8% | ||
skapaneas | 0 | 15,507,657,115 | 5.88% | ||
matt-a | 0 | 504,710,503 | 1.5% | ||
cloh76 | 0 | 14,073,666,719 | 9.8% | ||
diana.catherine | 0 | 1,274,532,655 | 9.8% | ||
nascimentoab | 0 | 1,275,309,044 | 9.8% | ||
arcange | 0 | 190,140,970,382 | 3% | ||
lichtblick | 0 | 11,068,417,733 | 5.88% | ||
liberosist | 0 | 39,520,459,555 | 9.8% | ||
raphaelle | 0 | 3,343,442,030 | 3% | ||
joshglen | 0 | 2,217,916,144 | 19.6% | ||
psygambler | 0 | 1,375,727,263 | 9.8% | ||
stephen.king989 | 0 | 31,170,196,988 | 9.8% | ||
randomblock1 | 0 | 1,413,696,664 | 19.6% | ||
kpine | 0 | 1,952,910,854,735 | 10% | ||
rubenalexander | 0 | 8,069,503,638 | 3.92% | ||
themanualbot | 0 | 53,816,742,714 | 50% | ||
steevc | 0 | 398,861,959,088 | 25% | ||
charlie777pt | 0 | 6,217,067,401 | 5% | ||
alaqrab | 0 | 12,839,685,064 | 9.8% | ||
holoz0r | 0 | 121,562,019,989 | 29.4% | ||
tfeldman | 0 | 19,569,583,076 | 9.8% | ||
seckorama | 0 | 5,403,038,644 | 3.92% | ||
ebargains | 0 | 2,862,553,357 | 10% | ||
lk666 | 0 | 10,194,452,308 | 9.8% | ||
cnfund | 0 | 160,834,460,165 | 9.8% | ||
funnyman | 0 | 258,858,247,690 | 5% | ||
michelle.gent | 0 | 10,136,636,855 | 3.92% | ||
curie | 0 | 3,311,288,327,376 | 19.6% | ||
modernzorker | 0 | 10,197,009,762 | 13.72% | ||
reddust | 0 | 29,779,827,911 | 5.88% | ||
alcibiades | 0 | 15,457,204,626 | 70% | ||
dashfit | 0 | 1,985,104,330 | 9.8% | ||
tristancarax | 0 | 5,510,261,397 | 9.8% | ||
edb | 0 | 4,935,898,565 | 1.96% | ||
gangstayid | 0 | 621,372,693 | 9.8% | ||
yadamaniart | 0 | 6,764,812,321 | 9.8% | ||
bigtakosensei | 0 | 1,722,448,688 | 2.94% | ||
walterjay | 0 | 3,001,280,485 | 0.52% | ||
doryumira | 0 | 649,509,786 | 19.6% | ||
valth | 0 | 2,427,239,403 | 9.8% | ||
networker5 | 0 | 530,581,559 | 9.8% | ||
lastminuteman | 0 | 4,175,010,117 | 6.86% | ||
driptorchpress | 0 | 9,974,319,829 | 9.8% | ||
rahul.stan | 0 | 5,039,226,065 | 6.86% | ||
boynashruddin | 0 | 1,452,735,408 | 19.6% | ||
ambyr00 | 0 | 4,283,889,172 | 2.94% | ||
gmedley | 0 | 4,283,949,458 | 9.8% | ||
nasgu | 0 | 1,512,049,303 | 19.6% | ||
daniel.dalo | 0 | 714,357,668 | 9.8% | ||
dhimmel | 0 | 489,275,376,919 | 6.86% | ||
chasmic-cosm | 0 | 2,730,725,267 | 9.8% | ||
luisreyes | 0 | 956,561,041 | 9.8% | ||
moksamol | 0 | 641,723,632 | 9.8% | ||
getrichordie | 0 | 839,946,058 | 9.8% | ||
frankk | 0 | 11,671,843,956 | 10% | ||
sidwrites | 0 | 14,052,958,436 | 10% | ||
szokerobert | 0 | 743,299,662 | 3.92% | ||
bloom | 0 | 683,191,193 | 9.8% | ||
prostosun | 0 | 1,177,252,427 | 1.96% | ||
frankydoodle | 0 | 1,113,918,786 | 9.8% | ||
federacion45 | 0 | 35,823,440,584 | 9.8% | ||
kingkinslow | 0 | 752,301,071 | 9.8% | ||
eliel | 0 | 45,646,093,624 | 10% | ||
jagged | 0 | 3,841,600,108 | 3.92% | ||
roomservice | 0 | 15,391,265,340 | 9.8% | ||
cacalillos | 0 | 247,826,633 | 5.88% | ||
sustainablyyours | 0 | 9,184,583,787 | 9.8% | ||
erick1 | 0 | 6,305,162,095 | 9.8% | ||
improv | 0 | 189,493,307 | 1% | ||
yehey | 0 | 444,778,469,620 | 19.6% | ||
freetissues | 0 | 4,326,114,409 | 9.8% | ||
wishmaiden | 0 | 501,927,844 | 9.8% | ||
zerotoone | 0 | 4,052,027,913 | 9.8% | ||
alphacore | 0 | 73,491,692,490 | 8.92% | ||
robtheranger | 0 | 622,018,225 | 14.7% | ||
kalinka | 0 | 3,916,662,708 | 9.8% | ||
mahdiyari | 0 | 142,678,436,230 | 15.68% | ||
aboutyourbiz | 0 | 3,576,471,917 | 19.6% | ||
giuato | 0 | 566,206,640 | 9.8% | ||
hellene8 | 0 | 706,507,436 | 9.8% | ||
deanlogic | 0 | 3,673,178,822 | 9.8% | ||
hhayweaver | 0 | 7,385,080,415 | 9.8% | ||
guchtere | 0 | 2,219,897,507 | 9.8% | ||
finkistinger | 0 | 3,714,522,356 | 9.8% | ||
liuke96player | 0 | 1,960,936,245 | 9.8% | ||
whd | 0 | 12,028,600,274 | 10% | ||
joeyarnoldvn | 0 | 10,923,924,214 | 100% | ||
zacherybinx | 0 | 4,258,536,062 | 19.6% | ||
gunthertopp | 0 | 324,029,311,577 | 5.48% | ||
furious-one | 0 | 849,799,308 | 20% | ||
gniksivart | 0 | 20,179,710,327 | 10% | ||
fnux | 0 | 836,214,544 | 9.8% | ||
pipiczech | 0 | 4,195,940,623 | 9.8% | ||
pisolutionsmru | 0 | 2,843,484,952 | 9.8% | ||
binkyprod | 0 | 8,160,693,397 | 9.8% | ||
makrotheblack | 0 | 774,604,534 | 9.8% | ||
tngflx | 0 | 1,447,600,205 | 5.88% | ||
runicar | 0 | 173,034,291,538 | 9.7% | ||
flatman | 0 | 15,998,762,084 | 19.6% | ||
captainquack22 | 0 | 98,604,949,312 | 100% | ||
minnowbooster | 0 | 336,325,390,944 | 3.92% | ||
felt.buzz | 0 | 4,252,283,454 | 0.52% | ||
codingdefined | 0 | 28,120,919,123 | 8% | ||
loonatic | 0 | 21,317,045,545 | 100% | ||
neumannsalva | 0 | 10,459,422,144 | 9.8% | ||
stayoutoftherz | 0 | 321,099,458,231 | 9.8% | ||
phogyan | 0 | 823,448,470 | 9.8% | ||
showtime | 0 | 1,447,419,885 | 50% | ||
investingpennies | 0 | 53,755,613,406 | 19.6% | ||
prapanth | 0 | 1,533,921,402 | 9.8% | ||
redrica | 0 | 11,355,274,165 | 9.8% | ||
stinawog | 0 | 607,303,396 | 10% | ||
ernick | 0 | 1,094,577,470 | 10% | ||
valchiz | 0 | 2,831,037,779 | 3.92% | ||
zyx066 | 0 | 30,559,766,405 | 9.8% | ||
chrisdavidphoto | 0 | 3,544,592,584 | 5.88% | ||
guada1 | 0 | 1,558,744,599 | 9.8% | ||
pardeepkumar | 0 | 20,311,208,229 | 9.7% | ||
pearlumie | 0 | 1,470,247,777 | 9.8% | ||
gabox | 0 | 899,009,809 | 0.98% | ||
garudi | 0 | 1,334,514,068 | 19.6% | ||
betterthanhome | 0 | 29,652,427,244 | 19.6% | ||
revo | 0 | 65,527,812,734 | 19.6% | ||
honeysara | 0 | 844,036,189 | 4.9% | ||
stickchumpion | 0 | 4,943,207,099 | 9.8% | ||
bahagia-arbi | 0 | 2,324,499,393 | 9.8% | ||
thelordsharvest | 0 | 28,407,109,000 | 19.6% | ||
kimzwarch | 0 | 11,181,806,242 | 4% | ||
olusolaemmanuel | 0 | 2,644,182,920 | 13.72% | ||
onartbali | 0 | 1,215,777,358 | 5.88% | ||
bradfordtennyson | 0 | 10,992,397,519 | 9.8% | ||
crokkon | 0 | 3,069,320,459 | 7% | ||
eurodale | 0 | 1,064,387,232 | 9.8% | ||
yajirang | 0 | 636,242,747 | 19.6% | ||
clweeks | 0 | 1,083,614,806 | 11.76% | ||
trevorpetrie | 0 | 8,675,454,658 | 9.8% | ||
voxmonkey | 0 | 314,917,906 | 100% | ||
torico | 0 | 4,900,001,011 | 6.46% | ||
yangoldberg | 0 | 565,669,120 | 19.6% | ||
ceparl | 0 | 586,499,158 | 9.8% | ||
mballesteros | 0 | 8,804,523,554 | 9.8% | ||
minnowpowerup | 0 | 3,001,330,663 | 9.8% | ||
revisesociology | 0 | 29,208,379,466 | 1.96% | ||
superdavey | 0 | 1,624,402,911 | 7.35% | ||
diosarich | 0 | 932,782,919 | 9.8% | ||
derekvonzarovich | 0 | 1,679,551,443 | 9.8% | ||
cryptononymous | 0 | 6,302,931,843 | 9.8% | ||
afrikablr | 0 | 888,712,239 | 1.96% | ||
upme | 0 | 10,235,594,223 | 9.8% | ||
braveboat | 0 | 2,505,531,132 | 8% | ||
meno | 0 | 179,700,304,819 | 9.8% | ||
buttcoins | 0 | 3,404,216,266 | 3.92% | ||
markmorbidity | 0 | 644,976,223 | 9.8% | ||
toocurious | 0 | 726,759,580 | 9.8% | ||
hanggggbeeee | 0 | 3,715,375,710 | 9.8% | ||
steemed-proxy | 0 | 2,951,027,332,415 | 16.66% | ||
fatkat | 0 | 5,367,231,005 | 9.79% | ||
peaceandwar | 0 | 3,206,977,193 | 9.8% | ||
enzor | 0 | 911,995,552 | 19.6% | ||
marcoriccardi | 0 | 3,504,851,895 | 19.6% | ||
tazbaz | 0 | 1,992,823,084 | 9.8% | ||
skadi | 0 | 428,320,713 | 70% | ||
battebilly | 0 | 2,439,300,240 | 9.8% | ||
faisalamin | 0 | 881,721,870 | 9.8% | ||
amritadeva | 0 | 5,727,442,876 | 9.8% | ||
extremeromance | 0 | 1,021,738,786 | 19.6% | ||
drags | 0 | 587,887,190 | 9.8% | ||
hectgranate | 0 | 1,276,120,075 | 4.9% | ||
mrhill | 0 | 23,494,199,417 | 100% | ||
kdee916 | 0 | 1,181,367,518 | 9.8% | ||
bluefinstudios | 0 | 3,247,943,917 | 5.88% | ||
nehomar | 0 | 717,369,325 | 19.6% | ||
steveconnor | 0 | 13,076,145,851 | 9.8% | ||
sankysanket18 | 0 | 23,913,985,253 | 9.8% | ||
afzalqamar | 0 | 1,065,864,407 | 13.72% | ||
thevillan | 0 | 523,688,052 | 0.98% | ||
skippyza | 0 | 1,391,087,188 | 19.6% | ||
nicole-st | 0 | 3,081,884,441 | 9.8% | ||
teukurival | 0 | 1,726,490,426 | 9.8% | ||
drmake | 0 | 11,501,092,382 | 9.8% | ||
cataluz | 0 | 6,952,890,157 | 9.8% | ||
ecuaminte | 0 | 1,481,594,014 | 14.7% | ||
danile666 | 0 | 27,865,899,595 | 18.62% | ||
popurri | 0 | 1,228,162,164 | 9.8% | ||
pechichemena | 0 | 2,536,216,405 | 3.92% | ||
kneelyrac | 0 | 524,717,515 | 5.88% | ||
ocupation | 0 | 96,170,774,920 | 9.7% | ||
skycae | 0 | 2,602,899,362 | 19.6% | ||
sireh | 0 | 588,021,674 | 1.96% | ||
itchyfeetdonica | 0 | 33,623,126,681 | 3.92% | ||
xanderslee | 0 | 1,241,297,166 | 19.6% | ||
brutledge | 0 | 1,377,707,529 | 9.8% | ||
kenadis | 0 | 2,598,509,436 | 9.8% | ||
esaia.mystic | 0 | 1,321,496,541 | 19.6% | ||
robotics101 | 0 | 540,774,330 | 1.96% | ||
marcolino76 | 0 | 2,806,491,237 | 9.8% | ||
stephennevets | 0 | 1,146,941,637 | 9.8% | ||
onemedia | 0 | 2,125,567,600 | 19.6% | ||
howiemac | 0 | 1,980,390,705 | 9.8% | ||
stevenson7 | 0 | 1,479,521,432 | 5.88% | ||
lextenebris | 0 | 815,710,547 | 9.8% | ||
enjoyinglife | 0 | 3,923,039,748 | 9.7% | ||
thescubageek | 0 | 1,440,611,676 | 9.8% | ||
ahmadmangazap | 0 | 1,955,525,435 | 9.8% | ||
zipsardinia | 0 | 4,234,666,148 | 19.6% | ||
tomatom | 0 | 1,230,410,110 | 9.8% | ||
fourfourfun | 0 | 5,400,007,094 | 17.5% | ||
danaedwards | 0 | 2,527,117,243 | 19.6% | ||
dechastre | 0 | 3,123,833,975 | 9.8% | ||
phgnomo | 0 | 2,357,936,954 | 9.8% | ||
gordon92 | 0 | 2,618,420,246 | 9.8% | ||
bitcoinportugal | 0 | 520,490,565 | 49% | ||
stahlberg | 0 | 4,635,148,607 | 9.8% | ||
gabrielatravels | 0 | 7,360,183,241 | 3.92% | ||
cordeta | 0 | 3,417,640,956 | 19.6% | ||
reizak | 0 | 1,866,924,318 | 7.84% | ||
zlatkamrs | 0 | 1,200,358,948 | 18.62% | ||
mountainjewel | 0 | 29,604,730,887 | 10% | ||
carn | 0 | 5,307,657,269 | 19.6% | ||
iamjadeline | 0 | 7,315,388,555 | 2.94% | ||
girolamomarotta | 0 | 1,543,999,657 | 2% | ||
payger | 0 | 989,087,854 | 9.8% | ||
fineartnow | 0 | 11,372,846,644 | 9.8% | ||
hijosdelhombre | 0 | 869,659,928 | 0.98% | ||
bobydimitrov | 0 | 1,269,729,095 | 14.7% | ||
aiziqi | 0 | 1,583,911,625 | 5% | ||
communitybank | 0 | 27,350,550,333 | 19.6% | ||
shinedojo | 0 | 2,439,791,313 | 19.6% | ||
utube | 0 | 16,047,385,527 | 19.6% | ||
wanderlass | 0 | 2,290,931,251 | 9.8% | ||
curx | 0 | 40,339,395,299 | 10% | ||
indianteam | 0 | 606,861,319 | 20% | ||
jcalero | 0 | 877,655,399 | 19.6% | ||
wisewoof | 0 | 726,522,971 | 9.8% | ||
neneandy | 0 | 22,739,180,012 | 19.6% | ||
pab.ink | 0 | 9,974,127,280 | 9.8% | ||
goldrooster | 0 | 39,808,118,108 | 9.8% | ||
soufiani | 0 | 14,446,800,380 | 7.84% | ||
sportscontest | 0 | 13,311,967,524 | 19.6% | ||
giddyupngo | 0 | 3,326,368,599 | 9.8% | ||
newageinv | 0 | 37,045,605,950 | 20% | ||
tobias-g | 0 | 1,151,189,837 | 14.7% | ||
leoumesh | 0 | 958,978,918 | 19.6% | ||
mininthecity | 0 | 1,103,466,518 | 15.68% | ||
rachaeldwatson | 0 | 1,657,978,646 | 9.8% | ||
jazzhero | 0 | 35,418,099,476 | 100% | ||
mproxima | 0 | 3,103,096,239 | 9.8% | ||
fantasycrypto | 0 | 11,683,383,204 | 9.8% | ||
didic | 0 | 9,040,643,155 | 9.8% | ||
niko3d | 0 | 981,661,262 | 9.8% | ||
quotes-haven | 0 | 9,714,231,566 | 9.8% | ||
careassaktart | 0 | 1,665,079,292 | 5.88% | ||
operahoser | 0 | 1,899,978,938 | 2.94% | ||
morey-lezama | 0 | 1,154,065,530 | 9.8% | ||
mattifer | 0 | 1,139,419,309 | 9.8% | ||
beverages | 0 | 32,524,947,556 | 9.8% | ||
crypto-mammoth | 0 | 703,807,819 | 9.8% | ||
nwjordan | 0 | 3,084,592,589 | 19.6% | ||
themonkeyzuelans | 0 | 2,757,862,182 | 9.8% | ||
verhp11 | 0 | 1,085,419,375 | 1% | ||
oghie | 0 | 904,066,973 | 50% | ||
photohunt | 0 | 21,104,762,837 | 19.6% | ||
ofildutemps | 0 | 762,302,067 | 10% | ||
chungsu1 | 0 | 3,033,344,161 | 9.8% | ||
ameliabartlett | 0 | 522,954,770 | 2.94% | ||
anikys3reasure | 0 | 662,845,950 | 9.8% | ||
atomcollector | 0 | 4,541,683,068 | 4.9% | ||
stk-g | 0 | 3,443,555,055 | 19.6% | ||
vegan.niinja | 0 | 1,493,274,498 | 9.8% | ||
bertrayo | 0 | 4,914,853,547 | 9.8% | ||
supernovastaffy | 0 | 731,886,087 | 7.84% | ||
bernardino | 0 | 1,266,419,055 | 9.8% | ||
doikao | 0 | 159,269,760,772 | 19.6% | ||
mindtrap | 0 | 99,576,046,336 | 9.7% | ||
kitalee | 0 | 7,754,108,264 | 9.8% | ||
technologix | 0 | 12,800,336,836 | 19.6% | ||
medical-hall | 0 | 3,683,004,052 | 19.6% | ||
forester-joe | 0 | 730,535,453 | 1.5% | ||
chrislybear | 0 | 3,140,449,288 | 15.68% | ||
vicesrus | 0 | 26,454,130,485 | 9.8% | ||
steempampanga | 0 | 530,456,718 | 9.8% | ||
ruen | 0 | 1,072,987,616 | 19.6% | ||
zipporah | 0 | 9,214,946,940 | 3.92% | ||
joelagbo | 0 | 3,562,054,505 | 9.8% | ||
hadley4 | 0 | 1,540,276,108 | 19.6% | ||
idkpdx | 0 | 114,643,920 | 9.8% | ||
randumb | 0 | 7,246,486,190 | 19.6% | ||
superlotto | 0 | 33,530,624,539 | 19.6% | ||
lstriker | 0 | 791,841,327 | 9.8% | ||
ambitiouslife | 0 | 1,280,805,782 | 9.8% | ||
positiveninja | 0 | 3,390,372,968 | 9.8% | ||
throwbackthurs | 0 | 1,255,936,400 | 9.8% | ||
miroslavrc | 0 | 4,534,919,438 | 4.9% | ||
foxyspirit | 0 | 557,369,599 | 9.8% | ||
bscrypto | 0 | 36,437,620,320 | 9.8% | ||
mohammadfaisal | 0 | 552,173,539 | 19.6% | ||
vonaurolacu | 0 | 5,249,701,466 | 9.8% | ||
amico | 0 | 36,051,293,617 | 5.13% | ||
greendo | 0 | 914,927,732 | 19.6% | ||
proto26 | 0 | 3,733,191,727 | 19.6% | ||
scottcbusiness | 0 | 15,562,742,360 | 9.8% | ||
bil.prag | 0 | 5,160,324,497 | 0.98% | ||
sanderjansenart | 0 | 10,919,673,251 | 9.8% | ||
vittoriozuccala | 0 | 6,261,980,164 | 9.8% | ||
sereze | 0 | 10,699,220,980 | 9.8% | ||
qberry | 0 | 11,159,079,572 | 9.8% | ||
frissonsteemit | 0 | 4,112,685,611 | 9.8% | ||
rambutan.art | 0 | 9,442,844,343 | 19.6% | ||
paragism | 0 | 5,893,499,046 | 3.92% | ||
greddyforce | 0 | 2,169,633,859 | 7.25% | ||
flyerchen | 0 | 1,988,613,370 | 9.8% | ||
braaiboy | 0 | 34,794,433,699 | 14.7% | ||
genoner | 0 | 538,487,728 | 18.62% | ||
road2horizon | 0 | 4,305,223,186 | 20% | ||
c0wtschpotato | 0 | 2,019,948,196 | 9.8% | ||
fotogruppemunich | 0 | 9,246,806,074 | 2.94% | ||
cryptocoinkb | 0 | 25,675,748,158 | 9.8% | ||
sustainablelivin | 0 | 582,098,154 | 5% | ||
elsll | 0 | 671,186,519 | 19.6% | ||
misia1979 | 0 | 2,837,324,038 | 9.8% | ||
yelbosco | 0 | 1,216,485,483 | 100% | ||
julialee66 | 0 | 24,913,548,787 | 19.6% | ||
andrewharland | 0 | 9,941,968,466 | 19.6% | ||
mariusfebruary | 0 | 33,554,536,065 | 7.84% | ||
davidcentenor | 0 | 3,590,251,259 | 9.8% | ||
outtheshellvlog | 0 | 3,018,539,248 | 9.8% | ||
josebenavente | 0 | 1,140,916,952 | 9.8% | ||
indigoocean | 0 | 28,896,884,958 | 9.8% | ||
incubot | 0 | 21,415,836,614 | 14.7% | ||
deholt | 0 | 690,474,981 | 10.78% | ||
veteranforcrypto | 0 | 4,855,777,932 | 2.94% | ||
nashvegas | 0 | 1,217,094,394 | 9.8% | ||
playdice | 0 | 2,819,935,365 | 7.35% | ||
jancharlest | 0 | 985,926,232 | 19.6% | ||
steem.services | 0 | 54,135,670,364 | 10% | ||
mightynick | 0 | 663,118,648 | 3.92% | ||
adrianhadjii | 0 | 17,262,171,509 | 19.6% | ||
gwilberiol | 0 | 37,792,955,090 | 17.64% | ||
netzisde | 0 | 26,532,223,466 | 19.6% | ||
diabonua | 0 | 13,434,479,565 | 9.8% | ||
edanya | 0 | 1,554,233,515 | 9.8% | ||
jmjury | 0 | 3,341,066,156 | 9.8% | ||
pladozero | 0 | 27,129,353,640 | 10% | ||
minerthreat | 0 | 1,571,942,040 | 9.8% | ||
stevenwood | 0 | 6,660,217,439 | 6.53% | ||
adam.tran | 0 | 1,296,172,107 | 9.8% | ||
steemjet | 0 | 514,846,200 | 9.8% | ||
motherofalegend | 0 | 2,640,566,810 | 9.8% | ||
steemxp | 0 | 1,510,111,158 | 9.8% | ||
marcuz | 0 | 687,403,573 | 9.8% | ||
pialejoana | 0 | 2,589,026,842 | 9.8% | ||
wolfofnostreet | 0 | 1,635,277,653 | 9.8% | ||
uche-nna | 0 | 23,413,769,186 | 15.68% | ||
myfreebtc | 0 | 1,981,158,937 | 9.8% | ||
niouton | 0 | 1,075,500,712 | 3.92% | ||
junkfeathers | 0 | 12,258,571,371 | 9.8% | ||
kantos | 0 | 607,299,455 | 9.8% | ||
bimaladevi | 0 | 788,295,162 | 9.8% | ||
schroders | 0 | 8,110,262,801 | 5.88% | ||
bitius | 0 | 905,014,450 | 19.6% | ||
bububoomt | 0 | 1,282,329,429 | 19.6% | ||
hardaeborla | 0 | 4,720,903,698 | 9.8% | ||
council | 0 | 1,447,442,429 | 19.6% | ||
exator | 0 | 31,274,051,976 | 25% | ||
nita78 | 0 | 0 | 4.46% | ||
vampire-steem | 0 | 563,687,590 | 9.8% | ||
somegaming | 0 | 706,878,127 | 19.6% | ||
cheese4ead | 0 | 11,544,869,688 | 9.8% | ||
lopzdaniel | 0 | 657,437,696 | 9.8% | ||
reconstitution | 0 | 1,179,551,941 | 19.6% | ||
longer | 0 | 1,495,690,381 | 4.9% | ||
steemian258 | 0 | 1,028,969,798 | 9.8% | ||
hhtb | 0 | 1,108,856,444 | 9.8% | ||
xves | 0 | 2,516,251,165 | 13% | ||
mrnightmare89 | 0 | 1,048,525,026 | 3.92% | ||
thinkwise | 0 | 452,529,727 | 3.92% | ||
ilovecryptopl | 0 | 3,371,308,358 | 15.68% | ||
mindblast | 0 | 20,035,010,925 | 9.8% | ||
roknavy | 0 | 523,261,307 | 3.92% | ||
bflanagin | 0 | 15,431,808,347 | 9.8% | ||
mastersa | 0 | 539,017,458 | 10.78% | ||
armandosodano | 0 | 79,319,468,154 | 9.8% | ||
melor9 | 0 | 2,405,046,983 | 9.8% | ||
sadbear | 0 | 2,244,964,094 | 9.8% | ||
call-me-howie | 0 | 740,314,810 | 9.8% | ||
marivic10 | 0 | 2,544,016,787 | 9.8% | ||
hansmast | 0 | 1,676,708,845 | 9.8% | ||
adewararilwan | 0 | 546,131,357 | 9.8% | ||
viruk | 0 | 1,641,641,071 | 19.6% | ||
goblinknackers | 0 | 131,283,033,710 | 4% | ||
luciannagy | 0 | 1,332,429,422 | 5.88% | ||
laurabell | 0 | 50,074,198,998 | 100% | ||
lebey1 | 0 | 1,193,575,754 | 9.8% | ||
honeycup-waters | 0 | 2,270,693,502 | 9.8% | ||
yaelg | 0 | 3,323,783,549 | 5.88% | ||
kylealex | 0 | 4,812,477,803 | 10% | ||
arnilarn | 0 | 1,461,471,231 | 19.6% | ||
alinares | 0 | 562,033,060 | 19.6% | ||
badpupper | 0 | 642,797,961 | 19.6% | ||
spoke | 0 | 733,558,512 | 15.68% | ||
pboulet | 0 | 1,037,074,235 | 1.05% | ||
marcocasario | 0 | 45,414,853,709 | 9.8% | ||
trang | 0 | 595,638,715 | 9.8% | ||
praditya | 0 | 479,378,406 | 5.88% | ||
rhethypo | 0 | 1,101,835,064 | 9.8% | ||
predict-crypto | 0 | 664,299,405 | 0.39% | ||
the.success.club | 0 | 10,012,913,806 | 9.8% | ||
chickenmeat | 0 | 4,184,817,582 | 9.8% | ||
jackofcrows | 0 | 4,841,480,958 | 9.8% | ||
tommyl33 | 0 | 3,697,184,141 | 9.8% | ||
brianoflondon | 0 | 37,697,751,000 | 2.94% | ||
reverseacid | 0 | 1,426,630,083 | 9.8% | ||
bidesign | 0 | 790,747,597 | 9.8% | ||
esthersanchez | 0 | 8,044,942,502 | 60% | ||
nmcdougal94 | 0 | 523,319,685 | 3.92% | ||
astrochologist | 0 | 1,170,112,457 | 9.8% | ||
monkaydee293 | 0 | 1,555,577,227 | 9.8% | ||
steemcryptosicko | 0 | 42,580,868,130 | 3.92% | ||
alvin0617 | 0 | 1,851,041,864 | 9.8% | ||
solarphasing | 0 | 557,154,507 | 5% | ||
ordinaryamerican | 0 | 1,148,648,829 | 10% | ||
starbooks | 0 | 551,022,587 | 9.8% | ||
letalis-laetitia | 0 | 854,886,830 | 9.8% | ||
tinyvoter | 0 | 1,101,412,626 | 10% | ||
optimizer | 0 | 2,706,659,424 | 8% | ||
autobodhi | 0 | 2,333,154,861 | 19.6% | ||
samks | 0 | 1,300,204,039 | 9.8% | ||
robmojo | 0 | 2,355,778,520 | 0.98% | ||
currentxchange | 0 | 1,276,121,568 | 1.96% | ||
enthef | 0 | 631,771,163 | 4.9% | ||
bluesniper | 0 | 824,948,768,249 | 100% | ||
vaultec | 0 | 3,435,393,395 | 12% | ||
steemstorage | 0 | 25,006,186,047 | 19.6% | ||
aqua.nano | 0 | 1,447,591,289 | 9.8% | ||
steemegg | 0 | 1,991,237,343 | 4.9% | ||
navyactifit | 0 | 4,184,613,020 | 7.84% | ||
jtm.support | 0 | 704,985,514 | 9.8% | ||
teamawesome | 0 | 952,762,998 | 9.8% | ||
ajks | 0 | 75,306,395,366 | 10% | ||
ctime | 0 | 256,531,035,948 | 4% | ||
baasdebeer | 0 | 2,077,535,835 | 14.7% | ||
hairgistix | 0 | 10,193,293,744 | 9.8% | ||
rem-steem | 0 | 4,421,693,614 | 3.92% | ||
ava77 | 0 | 1,466,501,485 | 13.72% | ||
bluemaskman | 0 | 2,036,611,975 | 9.8% | ||
cryptological | 0 | 2,553,197,713 | 9.8% | ||
afternoondrinks | 0 | 2,129,224,052 | 14.7% | ||
steemean | 0 | 10,297,224,539 | 5% | ||
proxy-pal | 0 | 3,280,712,729 | 16.66% | ||
proxy-tracker | 0 | 640,077,606 | 16.66% | ||
breakout101 | 0 | 2,884,734,437 | 9.8% | ||
arnaldoropeza | 0 | 968,417,648 | 9.8% | ||
hashzone91 | 0 | 742,603,545 | 9.8% | ||
ilanisnapshots | 0 | 1,369,143,557 | 14.7% | ||
filosof103 | 0 | 8,477,447,748 | 9.8% | ||
elements5 | 0 | 5,156,466,600 | 9.8% | ||
bergelmirsenpai | 0 | 732,248,922 | 10% | ||
scoobysnacks | 0 | 543,617,298 | 100% | ||
epicdice | 0 | 12,382,842,909 | 5.88% | ||
patris | 0 | 1,197,159,736 | 9.8% | ||
c3r34lk1ll3r | 0 | 546,453,495 | 19.6% | ||
endersong | 0 | 568,566,968 | 19.6% | ||
loudutim | 0 | 719,168,566 | 9.8% | ||
tenkminnows | 0 | 207,801,449,101 | 100% | ||
deeanndmathews | 0 | 5,641,887,042 | 9.8% | ||
edencourage | 0 | 6,319,472,584 | 50% | ||
scholaris | 0 | 32,512,556,004 | 4.9% | ||
matildamoment | 0 | 16,111,986,805 | 100% | ||
hjlee119 | 0 | 738,666,270 | 19.6% | ||
fractalfrank | 0 | 25,187,006,818 | 9.8% | ||
juliantabaresph | 0 | 664,227,338 | 19.6% | ||
xyz001 | 0 | 1,209,430,408 | 9.8% | ||
waltermeth | 0 | 3,300,269,819 | 20% | ||
titan-c | 0 | 6,286,520,801 | 19.6% | ||
shimozurdo | 0 | 819,623,098 | 9.8% | ||
mind.force | 0 | 3,193,615,979 | 4.9% | ||
psyo | 0 | 988,587,023 | 9.8% | ||
reggaesteem | 0 | 599,731,511 | 5% | ||
nichemarket | 0 | 607,872,520 | 9.8% | ||
ali-h | 0 | 981,010,753 | 19.6% | ||
valerianis | 0 | 1,046,884,002 | 5.88% | ||
tokensink | 0 | 9,096,184,529 | 19.6% | ||
botante | 0 | 17,240,737,995 | 7% | ||
ivna | 0 | 669,021,167 | 9.8% | ||
nazer | 0 | 1,316,277,017 | 9.8% | ||
oheyo | 0 | 956,187,372 | 3.92% | ||
spt-skillup | 0 | 421,137,851,349 | 8% | ||
rosana6 | 0 | 3,144,054,957 | 9.8% | ||
smokerings | 0 | 2,624,628,669 | 100% | ||
igbo4cake | 0 | 478,217,996 | 50% | ||
idoctor | 0 | 571,642,497 | 9.8% | ||
hongdangmu | 0 | 1,337,001,773 | 19.6% | ||
joshmania | 0 | 4,216,610,004 | 4.9% | ||
swing47 | 0 | 583,498,941 | 50% | ||
zyzzyva | 0 | 5,590,039,750 | 19.6% | ||
herzinfuck | 0 | 9,922,487,106 | 9.8% | ||
qwertm | 0 | 556,385,725 | 9.8% | ||
huaren.news | 0 | 34,034,598,135 | 100% | ||
ibt-survival | 0 | 39,747,716,090 | 10% | ||
sacrosanct | 0 | 3,162,128,602 | 9.7% | ||
pavelsku | 0 | 3,403,297,652 | 9.8% | ||
hjmarseille | 0 | 832,557,435 | 5.88% | ||
roamingsparrow | 0 | 7,372,549,617 | 9.8% | ||
onestop | 0 | 3,339,104,029 | 9.8% | ||
whalestar | 0 | 961,700,432 | 9.8% | ||
bcm.dblog | 0 | 789,510,813 | 19.6% | ||
julesquirin | 0 | 574,094,916 | 3.92% | ||
ysg123 | 0 | 1,085,164,218 | 100% | ||
goldstreet | 0 | 712,504,775 | 19.6% | ||
groove-logic | 0 | 747,163,570 | 9.8% | ||
almightymelon | 0 | 427,627,474 | 9.8% | ||
dapplr | 0 | 823,252,946 | 5% | ||
femcy-willy | 0 | 1,593,977,937 | 9.8% | ||
fengchao | 0 | 9,121,648,433 | 2% | ||
laruche | 0 | 45,941,500,971 | 1.05% | ||
hornetsnest | 0 | 15,806,240,975 | 9.8% | ||
hivephilippines | 0 | 384,205,327,166 | 100% | ||
akunull | 0 | 876,099,017 | 4.9% | ||
green-finger | 0 | 608,092,217 | 19.6% | ||
kyleana | 0 | 534,847,397 | 9.8% | ||
mynima | 0 | 1,074,322,568 | 9.8% | ||
ghastlygames | 0 | 1,096,022,097 | 19.6% | ||
peterpanpan | 0 | 4,346,769,541 | 3.92% | ||
quello | 0 | 1,464,209,000 | 14.7% | ||
radio-quebec | 0 | 1,009,801,259 | 50% | ||
mami.sheh7 | 0 | 533,122,761 | 9.8% | ||
gradeon | 0 | 2,706,535,100 | 19.6% | ||
the100 | 0 | 1,424,329,630 | 9.8% | ||
hiveonboard | 0 | 22,410,750,532 | 9.8% | ||
hive-143869 | 0 | 1,078,586,715 | 1.05% | ||
lyubo19 | 0 | 4,404,303,018 | 16.66% | ||
iameden | 0 | 885,465,095 | 9.8% | ||
rihc94 | 0 | 28,220,153,975 | 9.8% | ||
danielapevs | 0 | 3,119,815,968 | 9.8% | ||
kaseldz | 0 | 3,355,475,924 | 9.8% | ||
sultan-indo | 0 | 788,256,310 | 3.92% | ||
warriorpaducah | 0 | 563,537,500 | 19.6% | ||
ajaycapital | 0 | 3,078,619,430 | 10% | ||
anafae | 0 | 1,313,190,611 | 3.92% | ||
tasri | 0 | 588,598,692 | 9.8% | ||
sevenoh-fiveoh | 0 | 603,910,279 | 5% | ||
vicnzia | 0 | 4,589,469,638 | 9.8% | ||
zoeanavid | 0 | 648,799,267 | 9.8% | ||
vtol79 | 0 | 231,754,407 | 100% | ||
coffeebender | 0 | 526,904,972 | 25% | ||
dwixer | 0 | 1,226,412,870 | 9.8% | ||
intacto | 0 | 59,718,364,423 | 4% | ||
cosplay.hadr | 0 | 2,596,902,968 | 9.8% | ||
hadrgames | 0 | 2,670,447,602 | 9.8% | ||
joey1989 | 0 | 1,835,729,926 | 9.8% | ||
gabrielazamora10 | 0 | 1,010,482,807 | 9.8% | ||
adikhen | 0 | 1,200,006,200 | 9.8% | ||
amico.orso | 0 | 295,021,561 | 100% | ||
natflower | 0 | 583,915,044 | 9.8% | ||
hypnochain | 0 | 88,876,078 | 19.6% | ||
remenzer | 0 | 1,167,847,166 | 9.8% | ||
hive-163105 | 0 | 7,460,812 | 19.6% | ||
rsarnold316 | 0 | 249,817,074 | 100% |
The answer is yes but not that way exactly haha cuz I'm a guy duh. Ahaha but I've not totally studied my own life to get to the bottom of how I've changed now that I'm 36 years old, high school was a long time ago. ___ In general, I know people often change for better and for worse in a variety of ways. There was a variety of hairstyles I've had. But again, it's a lot different for women than it is for men. So. I'm not here to overly compare except that I find that a lot of fathers have struggled with how to really love their wives and children. I'm going to assume that not all fathers are purposely trying to mess things up. People do try to help the dads change and some do. But regardless, I know I've learned to forgive my alcoholic papa. But at the same time, forgiveness does not have to mean forgetting. And when I say forgetting, I'm not promoting excessive dwelling in the past kind of thing. But not to say that I don't study my past. I believe there is a difference between visiting my past with living there full-time.
author | joeyarnoldvn |
---|---|
permlink | qouqud |
category | blog |
json_metadata | {"app":"hiveblog/0.1"} |
created | 2021-02-21 00:03:51 |
last_update | 2021-02-21 00:05:51 |
depth | 1 |
children | 3 |
last_payout | 2021-02-28 00:03:51 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
promoted | 0.000 HBD |
body_length | 1,039 |
author_reputation | 42,714,189,670,965 |
root_title | Forward. |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
percent_hbd | 10,000 |
post_id | 101,981,242 |
net_rshares | 51,732,121,096 |
author_curate_reward | "" |
voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
laurabell | 0 | 51,732,121,096 | 100% |
I love this. And I think that’s where I am getting. I guess my blogs just represent the journey in some ways. My ultimate goal is to repair this bullet holes and wounds; I guess I am just doing it publicly. Idk because I think it’s cool to see the forgiveness come naturally and through the wrestling with the shadow and the dark. I am sure you’ve been through some shit too and there are aspect that have transformed you into the guy you are today. I think I am just experiencing that process that you perhaps already wrestled with. I think I am just passing through my Saturn return 😉
author | laurabell |
---|---|
permlink | qovynv |
category | blog |
json_metadata | {"app":"hiveblog/0.1"} |
created | 2021-02-21 15:50:18 |
last_update | 2021-02-21 15:50:18 |
depth | 2 |
children | 2 |
last_payout | 2021-02-28 15:50:18 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
promoted | 0.000 HBD |
body_length | 588 |
author_reputation | 35,477,593,139,848 |
root_title | Forward. |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
percent_hbd | 10,000 |
post_id | 101,991,328 |
net_rshares | 0 |
Oh, I don't know much about this Saturn return you speak. The only thing that comes to my mind is a sci-fi show called The Expanse. I think I know what you're trying to say and I love that terminology, to pass through my Saturn return. Sounds like an adventure or an amazing comeback.
author | joeyarnoldvn |
---|---|
permlink | qow0jf |
category | blog |
json_metadata | {"app":"hiveblog/0.1"} |
created | 2021-02-21 16:30:51 |
last_update | 2021-02-21 16:30:51 |
depth | 3 |
children | 1 |
last_payout | 2021-02-28 16:30:51 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
promoted | 0.000 HBD |
body_length | 284 |
author_reputation | 42,714,189,670,965 |
root_title | Forward. |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
percent_hbd | 10,000 |
post_id | 101,991,820 |
net_rshares | 49,646,456,939 |
author_curate_reward | "" |
voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
laurabell | 0 | 49,646,456,939 | 100% |
By the way, I love the long blond hair.
author | joeyarnoldvn |
---|---|
permlink | qour07 |
category | blog |
json_metadata | {"app":"hiveblog/0.1"} |
created | 2021-02-21 00:07:21 |
last_update | 2021-02-21 00:07:21 |
depth | 1 |
children | 1 |
last_payout | 2021-02-28 00:07:21 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
promoted | 0.000 HBD |
body_length | 39 |
author_reputation | 42,714,189,670,965 |
root_title | Forward. |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
percent_hbd | 10,000 |
post_id | 101,981,311 |
net_rshares | 0 |
Thank you!
author | laurabell |
---|---|
permlink | qovyof |
category | blog |
json_metadata | {"app":"hiveblog/0.1"} |
created | 2021-02-21 15:50:39 |
last_update | 2021-02-21 15:50:39 |
depth | 2 |
children | 0 |
last_payout | 2021-02-28 15:50:39 |
cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
curator_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
promoted | 0.000 HBD |
body_length | 10 |
author_reputation | 35,477,593,139,848 |
root_title | Forward. |
beneficiaries | [] |
max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
percent_hbd | 10,000 |
post_id | 101,991,331 |
net_rshares | 0 |