# We all have  lot of growing to do.

But it can be hard to admit our flaws.  It is much easier to blindly continue in our old ways. However admitting our flaws is crucial to us growing as a person. For example I am **incredibly** defensive. I acknowledge this and am now able to start working on it and keeping myself in check. There is not a person alive who does not have some character flaw that they need to work on. Be it a bad temper, lying, being entirely closed off, being unempathetic. There is obviously an endless list of possible character flaws a person may posses. 

## Admitting fault is essential for growth as a person.

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How to pin-point your flaws.

* ### Is there something negative that *all* of your friends are saying about you?

Either you have some crappy friends and need to ditch them or you need to really analyze yourself and find out if there is any truth to what they are saying. If you are hearing the same things over and over from different loved ones the chances are there is truth to it. So stop resisting and fighting and changing the subject and just acknowledge whatever it is and start working on improving  yourself.

* ### *"But how do I improve this part of my personality?"* 

That entirely depends on what it is that needs work. Seeking a therapist/professional/support group may be of help. Especially if your issue stems from past trauma and/or unresolved feelings/resentment. You can also get some books on psychology and read up on your problem. If it is something less complex like, maybe you are always late? Well, then just start setting reminders/alarms and not setting plans you don't intend to keep. Are you getting hammered every time you go out with friends and making them uncomfortable? Well, figure out if you have a drinking problem. If so, get help. If not, control yourself so you are not making those around you uncomfortable. I could list examples for months,  clearly, but the point is whatever it is you are doing there is some solution to it and if you admit that the issue exists, you can start seeking whatever that solution is. 

https://i.imgsafe.org/d30f52b43a.jpg

## Are you treating people with respect?

A good thing to do if you are trying to be a better person to those around you is analyze if you are being respectful to your loved ones, co-workers, and even strangers. Analyze your language and make sure you are treating people with kindness and respect. If you find people consistently upset with how you are treating them there is probably a reason.

* Are you listening to other people or just talking about yourself?

* Are you giving them the same amount of respect/kindness/attention that they are giving you?

* Are you blaming them for any bumps in your friendship/relationship? 

**Those are just a few examples of questions to ask yourself when reflecting on how you treat others.** 

**Basically, just remember to be mindful and listen without immediately getting defensive (my problem) and if you are being told something negative about how you are treating others, really reflect on it and figure out if it is true.**

### This is a psychology book I read years ago that really, really helped me in understanding and admitting why I do some of the things I do and helped me to really observe how I am treating others. Finding out **why** you are doing certain things can really help in starting to learn not to repeat them.

https://i.imgsafe.org/d343d53823.jpg

>"Working with the Shadow is not working with evil, per se. It is working toward the possibility of greater wholeness. We will never experience healing until we can come to love our unlovable places, for they, too, ask love of us. How is it that good people do bad things? Why is our personal story and our societal history so bloody, so repetitive, so injurious to self and others? How do we make sense of the discrepancies between who we think we are—or who we show to the outside world—versus our everyday behaviors? Why are otherwise ordinary people driven to addictions and compulsions, whether alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, infidelity, or the Internet? Why are interpersonal relationships so often filled with strife?Exploring Jung’s concept of the Shadow—the unconscious parts of our self that contradict the image of the self we hope to project--Why Good People Do Bad Things guides you through all the ways in which many of our seemingly unexplainable behaviors are manifestations of the Shadow. In addition to its presence in our personal lives, Hollis looks at the larger picture of the Shadow at work in our culture—from organized religion to the suffering and injustice that abounds in our modern world. Accepting and examining the Shadow as part of one’s self, Hollis suggests, is the first step toward wholeness. Revealing a new way of understanding our darker selves, Hollis offers wisdom to help you to acquire a more conscious conduct of your life and bring a new level of awareness to your daily actions and choices. "

You can get it at thriftbooks for under $4: 

http://www.thriftbooks.com/w/why-good-people-do-bad-things-understanding-our-darker-selves_james-hollis/287879/#isbn=1592403417

## Let's stop pointing our fingers at everyone but ourselves and start taking some personal accountability. 

Photos: 

Flower:
https://pixabay.com/en/flower-universe-plant-cosmos-single-1219360/

Apple Tree:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/foam/5465731118