# It's no secret that I have received my fair share of obstacles in life, to put it lightly.

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Lately I have had many traumatic events in a row just pile up. My best friend dying, being raped by my brother, my mom siding with him and leaving the state to protect him and so on. All of these things are obviously painful and well...negative. So were many of the things that happened to me in my childhood but I have definitely found a lot of positive in these events or at least what I have learned **from** them. 

Being raped and molested made me become an activist and speak up about my abuse. I now have inspired many other women to do the same thing. I get messages almost daily from women who say I helped them gain a voice. This makes what happened to me have a purpose. It makes me able to do good in the world. Possibly more good than the bad things that happened to me.

My best friend dying taught me so much about life and taught me how short it really is. It taught me to value my friendships because at any moment they can cease to exist. It taught me to go after my passions and live fully be cause I am certainly not going to live forever and it taught me a lot about love and how strong of a bond two people can have. It influenced my life, my art, and my relationships, and made me more empathetic overall. 

The most recent negative-seeming event that turned out to be helpful was when I developed a nasty stalker on my blog, here on steemit. Today he posted this:

>"A new chapter awwwwwwwwwwwwww
how stereotypical can you be bitch,
come on!!, shape up"

>"You will know no stability Laura, I dont know who you are tryng to fool"

Along with many other comments. 

### Initially, when this started, it upset and hurt me. I reacted very emotionally and thought of the experience as purely negative with no use. I thought about giving up. 

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But today when I read all of his comments I just found myself thinking of what a sad life this person must have to be harassing me still after more than a month. To be still commenting on my blog even when I was away. I also found myself not reacting to his hate. I found myself literally not caring. So, this experience simply made me stronger and helped me to develop a thicker skin. It helped me learn to continue in the face of bullying and to learn to completely phase it out, even. Something I am going to need if I plan to speak up about serious issues. 

I had an ugly break up with my boyfriend. Initially I only saw the ways he hurt me and the heartbreak. I only saw the hopelessness and sadness. But once the fog cleared I found myself thinking about what lead to the break-up and the lack of communication in general and came out of it realizing ways I can improve myself in the future to be a better partner and a better communicator and I learned how important it is for me to work on myself and build confidence before starting a relationship. 

**I could go on to list many more experiences from foster care, to homelessness, to growing up with a single, alcoholic mother and I promise there would be something positive I took out of every one of those situations.**

But really, the point here is not how these specific things helped me but that I think **all** negative events can be used to grow, evolve, and adapt. Even the most negative of events eventually can lead you to something positive. I never would have thought at 12 when I was being raped by **two** family members that anything positive could possibly come of it but 16 years later I am getting messages from women in support groups about how my book, my blog, my posts, and my art inspire them. 

# Life is rough. Karma is bullshit. But lessons are everywhere and opportunity for growth is plentiful. 

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### It is up to us to get through this brutal world in tact (until our inevitable death) and hopefully while shining light on some of the darkness. To do this we need to persevere in the face of abuse, oppression, and hate. We have to take whatever lesson, or opportunity of growth we can find in a negative situation and we need to roll with it.