*"but I think what I am aware of it more is feeling "Powerless" to make a change, which comes back to feeling victimized for not being able to show my "hero" self."*

This could be accurate, but are you really powerless? Could you not write all night tonight, and each day after, until you, too, were as successful as Jerry?

That was the attitude I approached Steemit with. It's why I try to vote on and reply to every comment, answer every question, take every request, format every article properly, cite every source I use, be more patient and more correct than the opposition, etc.

I wanted to create a consistent readership, like Jerry, that would eventually also reliably reward me.

I realized some time ago that curation rewards encouraged bandwagon voting, somewhat regardless of merit, if you look only at the merit of the single post. However, those rewards also represent past merit that this author has provided to his readers - the more reliable and consistent an author is, the more they do actually deserve for the same job.

If you were going to hire someone to mow your lawn, one could only guarantee he'd be there next Sunday...but the other could guarantee every Sunday into perpetuity...is not that latter service better and worth more?

However, merit still matters. The first "Meet the Witnesses" post I wrote for Jerry made over $500. His least popular posts make $60-$70. If the merit of my writing is worth 8x the rewards of a bottom-tier post, that is still a pretty strong correlation between merit and rewards, wouldn't you agree?

I think what we have is mostly a curation-reward problem, not a Jerry- (proxy-)content problem.

*"I whole heartedly agree with this. I do get frustrated a lot of times because It is my first time to be involved in a social media platform, let alone one that pays its bloggers."*

Trust me, you didn't miss much. The science is pretty clear that most social media is awfully toxic to life happiness, let alone other characteristics (like narcissism.) This reflects well on you.

*"but really what makes me deserving more than others? Nothing."*

Steemit is still somewhat capitalist, so you can become more deserving, in a way. Buy or earn more SP and your vote gets more weight. It's a bit like some older forms of Greek democracy with weighted voting, that were in some ways, superior to the majority-rules style of the current day.