You feel like you're being swallowed by quicksand, and there simply is no escape, even though your loved ones reach out to help! 

You wake up feeling hopeful, but very soon start falling into that deep dark hole where no one can touch you!

I still don't know how I got through those years, but I did.

No pity party here, I'm just telling my story...again...in the hope that this gives someone hope.

Society still talks of mental health problems in hushed tones as if it is something to be ashamed of; which REALLY irks me! 

I mean, do people whisper when someone has diabetes, for example, and has to take insulin to stay alive? 
Yet 'well-meaning' people will tell someone going through depression that it's time they *shake it off* or *snap out of it*!!! 
Can you shake off diabetes and pretend you don't have it and not take your insulin?
***
I will talk specifically about depression as that is what I had for many many moons following the suicide of my brother; the shock was just too much, and the guilt that follows when someone close to you takes his/her own life often is too much to bear.
 
It took me many years to realize there was no way I could have stopped that desperate act and it still angers me when people condemn the suicide victim!

Depression can be terminal if left untreated, but it can be overcome!

I was totally unprepared for this cruel illness, as I lived in a happy space up till then, and totally did not recognize this 'new me' - anxious and gloomy, and feeling as if I was carrying a heavy weight in my head!


![sage-friedman-HS5CLnQbCOc-unsplash.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/lizelle/241F73vfX3cdmb77XCHgYXY3Bh9HyBt96RffAi29qDa9DtbVrhBibGEm1edcMKfPdxZyU.jpg)
Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@sagefriedman?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Sage Friedman</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/meditation?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>
  

##### Lifebuoys
*Note; this is not medical advice, it simply is what helped me regain my sanity.*

* **Medication and Meditation** 

Some people may need to use medication for the rest of their lives if a chemical imbalance causes the problem, but the correct medication needs to be prescribed by a psychiatrist.

Meditation on the other hand is a free gift you can give yourself, and that was the ultimate cure in my case.

I was still medicating, but only on a maintenance dose when another huge shock hit in 2011; my darling uncle's life was cruelly taken. 
Strangely that shock was to become the turning point as my best buddy from school days called and asked me to join her in Transcendental Meditation classes.

I cannot emphasize the benefits of meditation enough; it relieves depression and anxiety, which in turn stops those painful muscle spasms in the neck and shoulders; it lowers blood pressure, and has a host of other benefits as well. 
There are many self-guided Youtube videos that are helpful especially in the beginning but find whichever method appeals to you.
 
Our very own @ericvancewalton wrote a wonderful book [The Perfect Pause - Meditating Your Way to the Ultimate You](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08PJPWK2W/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) that has helped me tremendously. 

Which other lifebuoys did I use?

* **Counseling** - When I started meditating I chose to see an amazing holistic healer who helped wean me off the anti-depressants with the help of natural medicine and counseling, something I foolishly avoided. 

* **Exercise** - walking, jogging, yoga & breathing exercises, gym, cycling...any form of exercise as this gets the feel-good endorphins going.

* **Talk** about your feelings to people who understand, but avoid the know-it-alls who tell you to 'shake-it-off!

* **A well-balanced diet** is vital as you need a healthy body to fight any mental illness!

* **Lifestyle** - do not neglect leisure times, listen to music which is excellent therapy, and find a space in your home or garden and turn it into your own little sanctuary.
 

***NOTE:*** *some conditions however require lifelong medication as the chemical balance needs to be maintained, but these tools can be of great help!* 

There are no answers to why some people are prone to mental health illnesses, just as there is no answer to the causes of many physical illnesses.

Always remember that you need not go it alone. 

There is help, people who understand, so never give up the fight and you will find your way to a beautiful free mind once again!


![Heart page break.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/lizelle/Enym4ewUnQwRHAfSW9tVKtGajZMsuva6JbGUsWPYQBHyGdUhCdKrcd2NTccPAeSqUJX.png)

I hope my story will inspire someone going through any mental health issue in my response to the [Ladies-of-hive-community-contest-100](https://peakd.com/hive-124452/@ladiesofhive/ladies-of-hive-community-contest-100) and for this week they are asking:

<center>💜

1️⃣ *Do you know how to be an effective advocate for your beloved one or friend when they're dealing with a mental health issue? Do you know how to respond, whom to contact for help? Have you ever been faced such a challenge?*

***Or***

2️⃣ *Romance scams are on the rise, and anyone can be a target. Scammers create fake profiles on dating sites and apps, or contact their targets through popular social media sites like Instagram and Facebook. They strike up a relationship with their victims and build trust, sometimes over months or even years. They eventually ask for money, often pretending to need it for medical bills, travel costs, or unexpected emergencies.
What will you do to avoid being a victim of dating scams online?*
***
I chose to answer question 1 because...in my day there were no dating sites; the word *online* was not even thought of! We would have said she is *on the line*, in other words 'talking on the telephone';) 

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***
Original Content by @lizelle
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