 My uncle, Mel Thompson, died in July and we saw him off properly at the weekend. I'm glad that many of the pictures here show him looking happy, because even though he was, as my cousin Simon said, "a cross between Victor Meldrew and Alf Garnett", I remember him having a wicked sense of fun and humour. I hadn't seen him for some years, although the one thing I do find Facebook useful for is maintaining something of family relationships. He was a big part of my early childhood, married to my mother's sister, and we lived nearby each other - his kids, Simon and Clair were our closest cousins, both in age and geography - we spent a lot of time together in the late sixties and early seventies. I was honoured to be asked to play banjo ukulele alongside my Dad on trumpet, while the hearse arrived and the coffin was carried into the crematorium. We played (by request) "Shake it and Break it" and "Somebody Loves Me" - he enjoyed our kind of music very much and it was lovely to be able to contribute something. Because he lived on the Suffolk/Norfolk borders the crematorium was in a rural location and not as busy as those in the city centre, so we were able to take out time coming and going. It was also next to a parachute centre and so the first thing we saw when we arrived and got out of the car was people flying towards us with multicoloured parachutes. It was an unconventional funeral in many ways. The coffin arrived in a motorbike sidecar, driven by a professional but with Clair riding pillion. The cardboard coffin had been decorated by the family ("Goodbye Yampy Grampy!") and at the end there was an opportunity for anyone else to write messages in magic marker on the lid! Simon gave a lovely eulogy, striking the balance between remembering the good times and telling the whole truth. I'd forgotten the days when he was working on the track at the Austin, two weeks on days and two weeks on nights and we kids had to tiptoe around when he was on nights (we never managed it, always woke him up and experienced his fiery rage). The three women he lived with in different stages of his life, spoke fondly of him and read poems. There was time for people to speak of their memories (many of which referred to the cannabis plants at the bottom of the garden in the 1980s). And then we had a rousing chorus of "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" to finish off. A fitting contrast to the staid and solemn affairs you often see and a send off that matched the unconforming nature of the man.
author | lloyddavis |
---|---|
permlink | goodbye-to-mel |
category | death |
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That sounds fantastic, I especially like the decorated coffin and the song at the end. So pleased everyone had time for the occasion, the funerals I have been to, of close people, have felt so rushed (certainly brisk) there was hardly time to settle into the moment. I have enjoyed more the private family ceremonies - all of us heading out in two small boats to Pegwell Bay, much loved by my dad, to scatter his ashes on the sea, followed by the contents of a bottle of barley wine and a packet of Old Holborn, followed by a Perry Como cassette tape (some family members were heard to mutter good riddance under their breath). A floral tribute of chrysanths broke up after it went into the water and my last view, as the little boats raced back to the harbour against the receding tide, was of many beautiful flowers floating on the surface of the sea.
author | shanibeer |
---|---|
permlink | re-lloyddavis-goodbye-to-mel-20180813t113404462z |
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that's a lovely memory, thanks for sharing it Shani :) When I got married, it provoked an interesting conversation about "social art" at weddings, and I'm getting similar ideas now around these other celebrations.
author | lloyddavis |
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It sounds like it was a fantastic service - a difficult thing to pull off when keeping the occasion in mind. Your uncle sounds to have been an interesting character - the references to Victor Meldrew and Alf Garnett help to complete the picture :) We had a humanist service for my dad in which the humanist celebrant went off and carried out a mass of research; I knew very little about my dad as he was a fairly private person. The service was a mix of This Is Your Life and Who Do You Think You Are...I learnt so much I never knew. It's great to leave a celebration of life to hear friends and relatives say they actually enjoyed it.
author | stav |
---|---|
permlink | re-lloyddavis-goodbye-to-mel-20180814t081402644z |
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I like the "Who Do You Think You Are" bit! It's fascinating (if not always fun!) to find out the things that were going on before we were born or how people saw themselves when we were kids. As we create more and more data about ourselves, the conversations at these events could get richer and richer - soon it will be commonplace for people to read excerpts from the deceased's social media activity :)
author | lloyddavis |
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Sounds like a wonderful unconventional funeral for a unique man!
author | winstonalden |
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