**A sarcastic sermon to myself and others on how to find love**

I think - you have what you are worth. And I say this to myself every time I feel unhappy.

The Vedas teach - a man and a woman must be a king and a queen to each other, but at the same time, serve each other. The husband is a king and a servant to a wife. A wife for her husband is a queen and maid. It is true that if a man looks at a woman as a queen, he will be her humble servant and vice versa. Everything seems clear - treat your husband as a king, and he will treat you as a queen.

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmNhJD6nWmbZdemP7SPfAAgxXRmiuS5WLRtR4gMNSFz8sw/1685532978568.jpg)

I personally have many questions when trying to imagine this in reality. We would rather be kings, but service is either perceived in a distorted way or is not acceptable at all. Although to serve does not mean being humiliated, being pushed and ... (all other arising associations are suitable to finish the sentence).

I think we should start with simpler, more understandable things.

First of all: you want a king - you have to be a queen yourself. And not otherwise. Not to become a queen when you find a king, but to be a queen by the time he finds you. The same principle applies to men. But I will speak from the female side, because firstly, men rarely read such articles, secondly, I am a woman, so it is easier to speak on my own behalf.

I really know what the lists look like, where women and ladies write the characteristics of the man of their dreams: and handsome, and rich, and smart, and gentle, and understanding, and generous, and athletic, and sexy, and hardworking, and helping in the household and…

I just haven't seen a single list in which, next to the man's qualities, any woman wrote some qualities she must have to interest the man.  Logically, a dream man's list of qualities in a woman he wants, if such one exists, would be something like this: young, slender, educated, helpful, intelligent, calm, interesting interlocutor, well-producing, compassionate, understanding, pleasant, tidy, sexy, smart, fun, good mood, well-educated, attentive…

**What to do?**

Want a king? Become a Queen! Everything is simple:
You are thick - Do a sport, eat less, live healthily;
Stupid? - Learn;
Old? - Rejoice in life, it will end soon;
Ugly? - Contact specialists, a good team of stylists and coaches can make a real beauty from the monster;
You don't have money? - Find your talents and use them;
Unhappy? - Find out what makes you happy and take measures;
Don't know how to do something? - Learn;
You don't understand something? - Ask, interest until you understand;
Very clever? - Stop educating others;
Do you like to control everything very much? - Meditate;
Very strict? - Improve yourself, discover and enjoy your femininity…

Well, I think you understand the essence.

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmVPeTX6E6fFKtGDR52SsapC23xFsDqotTfALLZxNdVxTT/1685531920700.jpg)

Of course, there are quite a few such "arranged", good women, but with them another problem. They cannot, in any way, wait for that prince and grab the first one, thinking that they will be able to develop a man into the prince. Is it not funny? Surprisingly, some girls are like a broken plate stuck with the words "I need a man, I need to marry, it will be too late"…

And afterwards, the woman raises the children and has the man next to them. Only that she has long been tired of changing him, and her man is already searching for another woman, one who will be satisfied with him as he is.

**Want to find your love?**

There is no need to look for love. You need to create yourself such that love itself will find you. You need to open your heart, throw away fears and beliefs. You must become the door that love will come into your life. Don't look for anything far away - just create the queen for yourself, and your king will come when you are ready. Forget others - neither will you change them, nor domesticate, nor do you need them - change yourself.

You need to start and finish with yourself. All you need is that a man of your dreams will find you must mature and grow up in you.

The first rule: a love in which you expect another person to make you happy is doomed to failure.

First become happy, then you will create a relationship with the same happy one and make each other even happier. If sometimes it happens that you have to lose such a person, your happiness will remain with you, you will just have to live through the sadness of the loss, but the world inside you will not collapse because of it, because it is built on the solid foundations of your own soul.

If you are already unhappy, then no other person or relationship will save you and make you happy, they will only give you a short-term false substitute for happiness, and then the consequences will backfire on you. Accumulation of claims and grievances will begin. If you are unhappy, you will remain so in your relationship. Don't make other people responsible for your happiness. Take it upon yourself.

![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmT2Bzh1sRJGWRhY3ymND6ATrPLKfnNoAhcRd1KwXvL2hw/1685531996448.jpg)

Want to build a relationship? Become who you want to meet. Become a person worthy of the lover of your dreams.

You need to finally grow up. Take responsibility for who you are and what happens to you. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Take care of yourself, improve yourself. Find an activity that will benefit you spiritually and financially. Don't wait for someone to support you or give you something. Finally, become happy and start being proud of yourself and enjoying life.

Understand, no one wants to be with someone who is chronically unhappy and dissatisfied with everything.

*Create a queen within you and your king will come to you.*

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝

With love, @Luana.
© 2023
Photos created with the help of AI.