![NaNoWriMo.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmeiwneyNDkQk8sZE1gojEs3sobz3eMWW9L3YXRDJhTrQC)

## Day 1

***I am planning to write 50,000 + words this month in the spirit of NaNoWriMo. But I am going to do a complete stream of consciousness style of writing. It might become a Novel, it might look more like morning pages - basically word vomit onto the page to empty the brain, maybe, I get a bunch of good blog post out of it. I don't know. Feel free to read it - or not. Quality is not ensured! 😂***

It is starting. The madness has begun. Do I know if I am ready? No, I don’t and we will never know if we are ready. So, this is my first day of NaNoWriMo and there is not novel in my head pounding to come out. Some have that. The characters are lurking behind every corner and are talking to them even in their sleep. Some could say that is what happens to schizophrenics and other say that is the writers life.
Who am I to judge what is and what is not.
There are so many kinds of writers.
Some can’t help themselves. They have to scribble on anything that is available. It could be a napkin like in J.K roulings case. Oh, darn. Completely misspelled that name
That is one of my superpowers - to misspell things.
There are days when I can spell everything - everything under the sun. And then, there are days where I can’t even come close and have no clue where to even look up the word. It’s a brain thing. Probably some form of dyslexia - but who really cares about labels. I don’t. Labels are good to reject and let go off. Good or bad. They are always little prisons we put ourselves in - or more often - are locked up in from others around us.
Some well meaning, some outright - well, how do I say that politely - NOT.
Some nee to find ways to control others and one wonderful way is to lock them up in a label such as bitch - oh yay, all those women with a voice and opinions, all of them are bitches. Didn’t you know that? There to emasculate - now, is that a word even?- but you know what I mean - they are there to put the men in their lives down.
But are they? Or is there a bit of fear involved - Ha! What a great topic and I know I will come back to it throughout this month.
So, back to what I started to say.
There is that thing called NaNoWriMo and all kinds of people are writing and some are even brave enough to go back and edit their stuff and turn it into books that sell millions of copies, or 10. It all depends.
And again, that is not my point. It is a point but not the one I am trying to make. Does it make me pointless? Could be. Why not? Who needs a point anyway.
I used to need points for everything.
And duties.
And all kinds of shit.
 Right now, I am in the fortunate position that I can do whatever I want to do!!
Please, dear Gods that like to wreck havoc. Do not see this as an enticement to fuck up my life. It has happened enough. The minute I thought we get to easy sailing some other shit came down. I get it. You gods like to toy with us little humans and some think it is the tests of God and other think that shit just happens - whatever it is - please, let me enjoy this freedom of choice.
I know, I know. I read plenty of New Age books that tell me that everything is my choice. Including being born into the family you are in.
I am having such a hard time with that. Why would I choose to be born into an abusive family. The argument that the kid is going to help the family grow just doesn’t jell with me - often the kid ends up dead or injured for life. Body or soul or both.
And off I went away from my purpose of telling you that I don’t have a purpose. Hahaha. No, we all do. And I am purposing NaNoWriMo to be my inspiration to write. Just to write every day again whatever pops into my head. Yes, I know that I could just use the freewrite - and I am going to do it to get me started every day. But I want to put more words on the page and I want to feel free to put whatever comes to mind. One day, it might be fiction, the other day, a memory, then, it is time for a rant. Or, one intention is to get a bunch of Sustainability posts down. 
Maybe not down but getting started.
And to watch what is going on. In my mind, in my body.
Just now, I reigned myself in from being silly and to write down what I thought I was going to do. Tell you all my intentions and stuff. So, I let go of the free spirit wanting to explore the wrath of the gods and dutifully said what it is I want to achieve and my stomach and heart got heavy and my eyes crossed over.
That tells me that I have no intentions. Don’t expect anything or expect everything. Expect to be bored. Expect to be entertained. Expect to read blah, blah, blah if you are brave (of should I use another word here) and keep reading what I am writing.
Here comes the deep and insightful self-examination. We also could call it boring since to many before me have wallowed in exploring their psyche all of us thinking that we are so special. Then, we seek counseling and find out that we pretty much all tick the same way. So disappointing if we live in a land where it is so very important to be an individual.
Oh, the illusions we carry with us through life! But they make life worth living. That we think we can. Just like the little Red Hen - no wait, it was the little blue engine that jugged along and overcame.
Labeling!! Didn’t we speak about labeling? The little blue engine that could. It overcame all odds and kids are being told that they do can overcome all odds. Is it an early setup for feeling bad about ourselves if it turns out later that we couldn’t after all?
Maybe we didn’t have the right parents, grew up in the wrong neighborhoods with bad schools, had lousy teachers, and no food on the table.
But those who grew up in mansions and whose parents paid a few millions to get them into good schools want to believe that the playing field is level. Those who aren’t succeeding just aren’t working enough. Because, as we all know, we reward hard work. Right?
The trash picker uppers surely must make more money that people who just invest their money! Right?
Or if we want to look at steem, the ones writing the posts surely get rewarded much more than the ones who just have a lot of steem and can sell it for more hahaha. Silly me!!

It is so much fun to be silly and so many of us have forgotten about it. We need jokes to laugh out loud - otherwise, we must be crazy. We have learned to cocoon even though it is not good for us.
I just heard about a study about loneliness. Especially loneliness in men - there are so many reasons and societal conditioning that men don’t show feelings and such is extremely unhelpful for men to be social beings. Alone they stand and it is so bad for their health.
Anyway, the study looks at people riding public transportation and that people are not talking to each other. They found a group of people willing to participate in the study. The group was parted into 3 segments.
One group was going to ride public transport and act like they always do.
One group was not going to talk - no matter if someone tried to converse with them or not.
One group was going to actively try to engage with other people on the bus/train.

Nobody wanted to be in the group that was supposed to engage.

Guess what happened?

The group that did the talking enjoyed their time on the train/bus/airplane a lot more than the other groups.

Get it, people. We are meant to engage. To be part of society. To talk to people - not online. Face to face to face.

We wither away when we don’t get human interaction. No! Siri can not replace a real person. Neither can a sex doll that looks just like a real person.
Now that is freaky to me. The robots that look like women, beautiful women of course, and will say nice things to their owner and are always ready and willing for sex (don’t think they are self-cleaning. But they didn’t show that part in the show about them) are very expensive and apparently are flying off the shelf like hot potatoes. 
I never have seen a hot potato flying off a shelf - well, that is not the point here. The sex dolls are. And the big question is if AI can replace true human interaction.
In so many ways I am living under a rock since I don’t even know what all is possible. From the glimpses I get, I know a lot is and that now, even more then ever, we need to figure out what is real and what is not.
The question for today is was this written by a human or by a badly programmed robot?

*a bit over 1500 for today*

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