Smiles, I get this particular topic is for me, cause I have been stereotyped for a whole lot of things, things I really had no control over, and I would try share a few here.....
One is the way I talk, I think I was about 10years of age the first time I felt stereotyped. A man came by with his family to stay around my area, he has a son who's older than I am, one particular day this boy came around to buy something from my mum's shop, I was the only one around that day, and he asked me why I talk, act, work and all the way I do, I was like.... *"how"*, he asked if it's because I stay in a place that houses females that's why I tend to do things as a female would. This is just me, I cook, clean, wash and all, also this just how I talk and all.....well, I didn't give him a response, I just laughed cause it's funny and am somehow confused. How does the way I do my things make me less of a human/man?
This should be the second, while in the higher institution, I still get a lot of *you haveg girlish attitudes* there too, but that aside, there was this guy who claims he comes from Lagos and wouldn't stop speakingg/looking down on everyone, there was a time he said..."*All of you agric students are bush people, why will you come to an institution to study **agric**, y'all will definitely end up selling tomatoes in the market.”* It hit me hard, but I smiled. I wanted to say some things and also tell him that my dad's also a farmer too, and that’s how I got here. But I stayed quiet, cause I feel defending myself will feel like begging to be seen. If you can't see and don't know the impact of my course, then I don't believe you know anything at all then.
There was also a time someone assumed I am a yahoo boy, imagine, me😁.....He said it's cause of the way I dress, are you joking, are good or expensive clothes only affordable to those who do fraud..that really made me feel somehow, that same person once told me I couldn't speak fluent English because I speak my native language a lot, I don't get, he even added that I am to local, so he knows I won't br able to communicate or express myself, that really did hit. How does simplicity or me being a fan of my native language equal to being dull?
When you are a guy, people expect you to act tough, to chase women, to never cry, to drink, to smoke and all, and I am not a fan of all those, I am the gentle, soft-spoken, caring and emotional type, and that has made me seen and hear lot, people often question if I am really a man😲, cause I really don't get, does manhood mean shutting down one's emotions. There was a day I cried after a presentation in school, that particular day life had really dealt with me, I almost did not attend the presentation, but nobody knew what I had went through and they started saying different things, some said I was a manipulator, some said I was seeking attention, some said I was pretending and so on. In this same world again, we ask men to speak, to act, to not bottle up their pain and all, yet I was being ridiculed for showing mine.
Lastly, let me talk about the charity work I do, most people assume I do it to get attention, they say...*he just want girls to like him, he's just a fraud, he's doing it for his own gain, see who's struggling and still doing charity works.......* and so on, it do make me feel bad, I have a lot of things I haven't done for myself, yet I do for people. It made me question myself.....do good intentions still exist, or we e all expected to fit into some negative belief?
I didn’t fight battles and do all the things I do just to fit into someone else’s idea of *who you should be.* I am not even trying to erase their whateve biases and all. They are entitled to their own opinion, if tvhat's it for you..then fine, I can't keep explaining myself to everyone, cause at the end of the day we can't satisfy everybody. I keep living and being me, while still doing what I do over and over again.
**All pictures are mine.**
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