Digging Up Potatoes by meesterboom

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

life · @meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

$77.55

Digging Up Potatoes

![1627669046685.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmVrwxtkDGEyQ9NoYQHz13bbW3w1uPb8ngp4jeMWWSxvUc/1627669046685.jpg)


*Halt right there!*

The policeman yelled as he screeched his mountain bike to a juddering stop in front of me.

*Yes, Ossifer. How may I be of assistance?*

I took the cigarette from my mouth and flicked it into the road to my left with a whiplike snap that a conquistador changing a nappy would have been proud of.

*Covid curfew. No one is allowed on the streets after eight.*

The police officer barked. 

He had a rough manner about him. As if he were the kind of fellow who dug up potatoes and played at *penis-wives* with them in his cold lonely flat.

I snorted and reached into my back pocket and pulled out my passport.

*No need to flap, my good man. Double jagged. See?*

*Penis-Wife* staggered back as if struck.

*Oh. Oh, goodness. My apologies sir. I thought you were a truther. You know, one of the ones that believe in Badgers and chem-trails and other such fancies.*

His tone had changed instantly from belligerent to obsequious upon seeing my shiny new *Covid Passport.*

*Ha, one of them!? Do I look like an ostrich's cock?*

I tucked my passport safely away in my *back bin.*

*No, no. Of course not. I mean I think not. I am afraid to say I have never really seen an ostrich's cock, sir.*

*Penis-Wife* looked around, embarrassed at his rubbishness.

*Never seen an ostrich's cock? My God man, you've never lived!  These truly are the end times. Oh well, don't worry, you will be double jagged soon enough and then you will be 'in the club.'*

I tapped my nose and gave him a knowing wink that only the fully vaccinated can give.

*I can but hope sir. I have family you see and I don't want to die and leave them all alone.*

The officer took off his cap and wrung it in his hands giving me one of those pleading envious and awestruck looks that the unjagged are inclined to give 

I tipped my head back and let out a long and metallic sounding laugh before fixing him with a cold glare.

He flinched back at the green LED-like tinge of my eyes.

I leaned in close to him and grabbed his shoulder in a vice-like grip like I was one of the freshly converted New World Order experimental vax-controlled Android army.

*Don't worry my young friend. Once you are double jagged you will never have to worry about dying ever again...*

*Mohohowaaahr!!!!*

----

Ok, the above didn't happen. However in a world where Covid Passports might end up being a real thing and the vaccination still being talked up as a government conspiracy by some. It could happen.

Well, maybe without the ostrich's cock.

And the potato penis-wives.

Anyway, I'm double jagged and that means i can finally go to the pub with my mates tonight after almost 15 months. Hurrah for normality!!

Cheers!

👍 trafalgar, vcelier, jphamer1, tarazkp, buildawhale, slobberchops, arcange, abh12345, themarkymark, galenkp, hanshotfirst, redes, nonameslefttouse, traf, smasssh, steemcleaners, laruche, joele, jamesbrown, c0ff33a, sbi3, cryptoandcoffee, revisesociology, davedickeyyall, themonetaryfew, softworld, ace108, jongolson, generikat, dswigle, penguinpablo, ericvancewalton, jaynie, preparedwombat, raindrop, boatymcboatface, itchyfeetdonica, minnowvotes, jamesbattler, lizelle, dera123, chinchilla, michelle.gent, upvoteshares, barge, jang, pastzam, hivewatchers, old-guy-photos, melinda010100, primalamusica, bitshares101, walterjay, steempostitalia, friendsofgondor, silviabeneforti, lalupita, diabonua, ryivhnn, unschool, molometer, gogreenbuddy, techslut, rynow, and 273 others

`author`	meesterboom
`permlink`	digging-up-potatoes
`category`	life
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@brandt · Jul 30 '21

$0.08

Congrats on the double jag. Now you go show that pub who's boss ;)

👍 meesterboom

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properties (23)vote details (1)

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meesterboom	0 B		126,753,298,446	5%

@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

I am in it right now! Or rather sitting outside it showing it who the damn hell is in charge!! :0D

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@brandt · Jul 30 '21

Good man. Be sure to piss out some of that beer right on the side of the pub. Got to mark it as yours after all.

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5 replies

@creativemary · Aug 3 '21

$0.09

15 months...I can't believe it has been 15 months of this madness , Gosh time flies. I have heard of this passport stuff, quite a controversy around the whole thing.
Normality...and a big hurrah for it...Yup, I feel you.

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Aug 3 '21

It has been an awful long time! As long as I can see light at the end of the tunnel I don't mind. One day, one day it will be over!

👍 creativemary

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@creativemary · Aug 4 '21

A couple of months and even Santa will have a second bad year lol

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3 replies

@danokoroafor · Jul 31 '21

$0.08

Police always have a way of disturbing people.

![untitled.gif](https://media.tenor.com/images/f41e79325223485ac65be1d8f56c0460/tenor.gif)

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

HAhahhaha, yes indeed they sure do!

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@davedickeyyall · Jul 30 '21

$0.08

I'll suck this ostrich dick before I let them "vaccinate" me..


![Screenshot_20210730-140919_Chrome.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/davedickeyyall/23z7SjWMU687Nez8yvukH2B23cu9TgGooWvsS4NukEsdrHniUFJ4BEodh9JcVErsSdUdJ.jpg)

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

$0.09

And there it is, the prize winning ostrich cock!!!

Looks like jerky. I will personally send you a letter of exemption so that you can carry out your pledge :0D

👍 davedickeyyall

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@diebitch · Jul 30 '21

$0.17

Penis-wife
https://media.giphy.com/media/U0L0whTE3lzMc/giphy.gif
[src](https://giphy.com/gifs/U0L0whTE3lzMc/media)

👍 davedickeyyall, meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

Heh heh, yes. A strange hobby indeed!! ;0D

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@dswigle · Jul 31 '21

$0.10

They give everyone the little passports and then here in the States, Florida won't let Royal Caribbean Cruiseline have it mandatory to be vaccinated. No jabs, no cruise. Florida wouldn't let them sail from there if they did that. 

Nothing but controversy, no matter which way you go.

> I can finally go to the pub with my mates tonight after almost 15 months. Hurrah for normality!!

I am so jealous. They are masking up again here. :(  If I didn't hate the weather in the UK so much, I might run away from home and go there. At least I could have a piece of normal. 

Spooky story, if you ask me. It all is soooo possible. Now, that should deflate that ostrich down there. Where did he get that picture? OMG. Please don't tell me, that was not really so much a  question as being horrified that put that out there. LOL

Have a great time at the pub!

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21 (edited)

I was fairly horrified by that picture even though I had heard such abominations existed!

We still had to mask up when not sitting down which is kinda odd and defeats the purpose if you ask me. It was blmin magic to be put and about though. Just seeing other people who I hadn't for ages was great!

There is so much controversy around it all I hope that when it's done that we can all move on!!

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@dswigle · Jul 31 '21

Noooo! I can sit home and do that, but, where is the fun in that?

Seeing people I haven't seen in forever would be nice. I haven't seen one of my brothers since January 2020. That is just criminal, but, he lives half a country away and every time we plan, it blows up in our face or more COVID breaks out. Even though it wasn't perfect, it is a step in the right direction of normal, and that is all I can hope for right now. 

Either that, or we can all run over to Spain and steal a piece of their beauty for a day or three. 

Good morning from here! I think we may have decent weather today. I can't believe I just spoke about weather! I must be getting old. Yikes.

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1 reply

@galenkp · Jul 31 '21

$0.13

There was a time in the past when papers were required to be produced for one to move about freely...1939 Nazi Germany. 

They'd mark out certain people with a symbol also, make sure everyone knew of their *differentness* and social-status. Eventually they quarantined them in *special areas* so they couldn't *infect others* with their differentness. 

Sound familiar?

👍 meesterboom, oaldamster

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@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

It does. Does that mean I need to dust off my jackboots and black army surplus clothes? I thought I had left them behind back in my studenty days!

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@galenkp · Jul 31 '21

Get those boots out...You'll need them.

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2 replies

@gikitiki · Jul 31 '21

$0.12

This week, I has my first vendor funded business lunch since April 2020.   On a patio in the sun - like the before times.

It felt great.  All three of us have been double-jagged so we even shook hands when we were done.   Then scampered to our cars to pull out the sanitizer spray ... we're not THAT crazy yet.

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

A great feeling to be out and about 
 Although, I had the hand gel in my pocket!!

It was slightly sunny and we spent most of our evening on the rooftop of this run down bar. It was an awfully place but it didn't matter as it was more about the chat. 

Ah, even the hangover doesn't feel as bad as it should!

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@jacobtothe · Aug 1 '21

The bars here are open, jab or no jab. After all, I can get as many shots as I want once I'm in there! But to be fair, [Corona](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corona_(beer)) could still knock me out.

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@lupega · Jul 31 '21

$0.08

Hi @meesterboom  ,It did not happen, but very good imagination, and I think it is not far from reality, the covid passport will be the gateway to all those who are vaccinated, what's more, it is already happening, if I am not vaccinated I cannot attend any event of music, hey, watch out for singles, here I am :)

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

It int here yet but they are talking about it! I don't fancy having to prove I am a free man with anything to get into a concert or a cafe!

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@mlrequena78 · Jul 30 '21

$0.06

it's a story or a joke, a bit crazy the story my friend, it made me laugh a little bit.

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

The story was a wild fever take from my imagination as I reeled from the excitement of going out to the pub again :0)

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@mrchef111 · Jul 31 '21

$0.08

hahaha nice! A great and hilarious take on Covid. I hope it doesn't come to that, but who knows with the government. I have my Covid Vaccination card, and I had Covid as well, haha. Doubly protected I imagine. Have fun with your mates!!

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

$0.04

It was a very good night! I hope the Covid cards don't become compulsory here to get in places. Seems a bit nazi!

👍 mrchef111

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@mrchef111 · Jul 31 '21

Indeed it does!

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@mudcat36 · Aug 4 '21

$0.08

As usual... after reading one of your posts... once the laughing has died down I say... damn boom. Just damn.

👍 meesterboom

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@meesterboom · Aug 4 '21

$0.03

Damn me to hell!!! That's what I say!! ;0)

👍 mudcat36

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@nonameslefttouse · Jul 30 '21

$0.08

A license to spit and sneeze in public should have been invented a long time ago.

👍 meesterboom, xplosive

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@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

$0.22

Send the sneezers to the Mars colonies I say!!

👍 nonameslefttouse

properties (23)vote details (1)

@nonameslefttouse · Jul 30 '21

Yeah!  Give those dome wipers a real job!

properties (22)

15 replies

@xplosive · Jul 30 '21

$0.16

Maybe they "invent" it one day. And to breathing too.

👍 nonameslefttouse

properties (23)vote details (1)

@nonameslefttouse · Jul 30 '21

I'm applying for my card to step out of line this Monday.

properties (22)

@oaldamster · Jul 31 '21

$0.08

WHAAAAAT...!? 
You picked up smoking again!? 
No freakin way! 

 Phew... It is just part of a dystopian nightmare story! 

Finally, pub times are there again. 

Cheers to drinking more future beers! 🍻

👍 meesterboom

properties (23)vote details (1)

@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

$0.04

Pub times are back!! Heres hoping they stay back! 

And yeuch.I think this time I have chucked the sticks for good. I certainly don't even get the urge no more!

👍 oaldamster

properties (23)vote details (1)

@oaldamster · Jul 31 '21

>  I certainly don't even get the urge no more! 

That is a good sign! Been off those close to 20 years now. Sometimes I even forget I once was a smoker. 

Let the good times roll!

properties (22)

1 reply

@old-guy-photos · Aug 4 '21

Oh it is becoming real here quicker than you can imagine. Going to need the passport to get into stores in some states. Scary times tbh.

properties (22)

@quixoticflux · Jul 31 '21

$0.08

Going out like normal after over a year of lockdown is an amazing feeling, congratulations!

👍 meesterboom

properties (23)vote details (1)

@meesterboom · Jul 31 '21

It was, it was surreal but very very good!!

properties (22)

@sipahikara · Jul 30 '21

$0.08

It's great to be able to get vaccinated and continue normal life.

👍 meesterboom

properties (23)vote details (1)

@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

I have missed seeing my friends in the pub that's for sure!

properties (22)

@slobberchops · Jul 30 '21 (edited)

$0.05

Double-jagged.. that's what I need to tell the Greek immigration. Fuck this country, I want real sun. Did you mean to give yourself breasts?...

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/slobberchops/AKe5ZGYCkaC5297LA2GaGHKsRKMooKqr4guTUxY8q4ZobqXWEBPjSmZ1jXoShM6.png)

... and just look at those hips.

👍 meesterboom
👎 anfeng

properties (23)vote details (2)

@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

The breasts... The hips .. what can I say, lockdown has been hard!!!

I want some real sun too. I want blazing foreign lands sun. Would love a little Spanish Island action right now!

properties (22)

@slobberchops · Jul 30 '21

Do it.., it's not as hard as it seems.. and what's more the prices in August are cheaper than September when the kids are back to school. Not sure what is going on there, they usually fleece us in the summer.

👎 anfeng

properties (23)vote details (1)

1 reply

@xplosive · Jul 30 '21

$0.06

> Well, maybe without the ostrich's cock.

> And the potato penis-wives.

I would gladly hear about these instead of the Covid shit we hear every day.

👍 meesterboom

properties (23)vote details (1)

@meesterboom · Jul 30 '21

Me too. I think everyone is quite bored of it all

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