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It's A Date! by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$128.15
It's A Date!
![IMG-PHOTO-ART-693354087.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZxQeVbp7mT88tdfjUGgbVqf1qcP7oedY4vwt7qvFcd2v/IMG-PHOTO-ART-693354087.jpg)

*Hey dude, you are quite friendly with Julia aintcha?*

I was on the train heading into the office. I looked up to see Eric, a guy I worked with.

*Eh, well aye. She sits near me?*

He flumped down on the seat next to me smiling happily.

*Excellent man, excellent. Can you ask her out for a coffee at lunch or something?*

*Can I fucking what?*

![squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124191235935.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQ28oW6HAUYeTYq9hUXrhqVnPrxPQR5yRaQPUUYtdfTJF/squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124191235935.jpg)

Eric was single, having recently split up with his wife. He had obviously decided enough time had passed for him to be on the market and went on excitedly to detail a cunning plan involving me asking Julia out for a friendly coffee and then him joining us by *accident.* He would then use this as groundwork for asking her out on a real date.

I didn't like it. 

*What a shit idea. Why don't you just ask her to go for a coffee yourself? None of this involving me pish?*

He made a Vegan eating crabsticks face.

![squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124191744366.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXyvhC2fzzHjLBmj8QVUAiRNKwp4okcVPzc9vsvBcbAna/squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124191744366.jpg)

*No way man, I need somebody to fill in the gaps, you know crack the jokes if it gets awkward.* 

Hmm, was I was supposed to be flattered by this? It didn't bode well. I mean what if they hit it off famously? Where would it end? Would I be in the same bed cracking one off whilst they did it beside me just in case he lost his rhythm and I had to step in to maintain the pace?

I didn't like it. Not one bit. 

*Nah mate, listen. Just ask her if she fancies a coffee at lunchtime. She will either say yes or no. No subterfuge. Honesty is the best option.*

He stared at me like I was a masturbating monkey on the vinegar stroke.

![squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124192157508.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQma4csgrRRyw4SLnxx3jxiAUgm79nto3VcFDumAhaTD12M/squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124192157508.jpg)

*So you're not going to help me out?*

*I just don't think it's wise matey-chops?*

*Alright, fair enough.*

He looked a bit stricken and pulled his phone out pretending to look at Facebook. Oh well, I guess that conversation was over. I went back to browsing Steemit as is my thing on the morning train. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him bite his top lip. He seemed a bit narked. 

*You just seem quite friendly with her so I thought you wouldn't mind?*

I looked up.

*It's not that I mind, it's just that I think if you want to ask her out you should ask her out. Not skulk around with __cunning plans.__*

*Sorry, I just... I just really like her.*

Somewhere in my coal black heart something shifted uncomfortably. 

![squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124192915901.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTbSc7xYgJ4kCoWLv4dnKYfJXmFzd2FKTxr3XKxTu3PER/squeakrs_20180122184325369_20180123202608180_20180124192915901.jpg)

I remembered those days. I mean, I was never as hopeless at inserting my penis into things as Eric obviously was but I remembered how hard it could be when you were single. 

*Fuck it, I will see if I can organise something, maybe a night out. Ok?*

*Aw man, cheers mate. You're the best!*

He spent the rest of the journey talking excitedly about a load of boring shite. 

I scowled out the window cursing myself for being a big softy.
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 90 others
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vote details (154)
@abdulmanan ·
it's not just a date man, it's a hot date :p
hotter than sun :p
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@meesterboom ·
It might be, I hope I dont find out that much!
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@abdulmanan ·
why?
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@ace108 ·
$0.09
If it works out, you are getting a bonus. 
If it doesn't,  you are in 2 trouble.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I suspect its the trouble bit!!!
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@alienbutt ·
$1.36
Wow, you get to be a wing man...
If it goes right you get no credit and if it goes wrong you get the blame from both sides.
Good luck.
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@meesterboom ·
$1.15
That's exactly what will happen and knowing him slightly I can see it being the latter
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@anneke ·
$0.09
Cannot wait to hear how your 'date' goes hahaha
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Haha, I am sure it will be fun. Not
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@beautifulbullies ·
$0.35
Haha I see a messy love triangle post ahead! xD
👍  
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vote details (1)
@bhabykat ·
Your such a good friend trying to organize things for him. I did laugh with that. HEHE! Thanks
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@meesterboom ·
Lol, Cheers. It's a one off
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@bluedonutwolf ·
Good luck buddy! 👍👍👍
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@meesterboom ·
Cheerd dude!
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@cecicastor ·
$0.09
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Better start charging Mr. Boom. There's supposed to be good money it...
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I will start charging in SBDs then!! Hooray!
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@charles1 ·
$0.09
A gentleman is always the ladies man!!! teach them guys how to get a lady especially at gentlemans club...always a good read from you.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Thanks mate! One must help a fellow out where one can!
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@chiama ·
Hahaha,  Good luck on the 'trio date' I wouldn't want to be Julia.  😂😂😂😂
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@meesterboom ·
I don't think I will want to be me! :0)
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@cvds ·
We need softys as collegues.
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@meesterboom ·
Meh ;O)
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@dreemit ·
$0.09
I'm sure many people have beat me to the matchmakingmeester jokes and probably cupid too lol. I was on a grapevine delivery today...I'm starting to think I might cave and get my own smart phone because damn would that ride be more pleasant if I could steemit on the way there and back! 

If you don't do a follow post on your friend's love attempts....chat me about it hahaha!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Oh man, so you can't steemit on the move? Wow, that's incredible. I would be lost without the smartphone steeming. It's mostly what I do!

Add soon as I have it set up I shall tell all!
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@englishtchrivy ·
$0.26
aw!
stuck with this one chico?
you should be like a matchmaker but charge him lol

btw.. a monkey what?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · (edited)
Like a masturbating monkey!! Oh wait, do you mean the vinegar stroke? Lol, that's the but just before the, ahem *spurty* but where you make a funny face as if you have had a spoonful of vinegar!!

Maybe I should charge him!
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@englishtchrivy ·
$0.10
lol .. okay thanks for clarifying 
hahaha

you should!
BY THE HOUR !
or minute? 
I'm out of here gotta attend a late New Year drink party around here haha
👍  
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vote details (1)
@fiftyshades ·
You're like Barney Stinson, the best wing man ever. 😊
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@meesterboom ·
Ha, we will see if it works out that way!!
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@gardenlady ·
$0.20
You are too nice!!  So now YOU have to ask her for coffee and then casually say to your boy, oh, chum, want to join us?  Sounds awful!  
Maybe get a handful of office mates to go for a beer after work (is that realistic?) and then just have one beer and skedaddle.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.08
I know! I don't know what came over me! I think the beers after work idea is best. Now I just have to do the actual organising blegh
👍  
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@giantbear ·
$0.10
You old softy...but I would've also suggested something similar...we should just learn to say no and stick with it!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
$0.32
No is a much better word in these situations!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@jedau ·
$0.14
You *are* the best, BOOM-erang! I'm glad he knew it! I mean, you don't have the best grasp of what a wingman should be doing (I think?), but you're surely made to help people out. How old is he? The dating scene isn't as it was before. There always has to be some gimmicks involved. I remembered my turn years ago. All these questions of how much polar bears weigh and other pickup lines. It was only when I let the gimmicks go did I find my belle. But, I did have my fair share of being a wingman. Not the bed substitute kind though. Should I be snapping my fingers because of lost opportunities?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I think you should be counting your lucky stars that you didn't have to be a valiant *second* 

He is nearly forty. You think he would know better. I hope he doesn't start to ask me about tinder and all that jazz!!!
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@jedau ·
1,2,3,4, hmm.. is that a star? Oh huh, I think so. 5.

40!? He should've planned ahead!! Here I though he was in his late 20s!! Man, it's definitely tough to be 40 years old and in the market. Slim pickings unless he's a millionaire!
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@jlufer ·
$0.15
What an awkward situation dear friend @meesterboom, when I was young had the reputation of being very good with women all wanted to be my friend, once at a party a friend, who after I stopped being one, asked me to intercede because they had fought, I refused categorically, however I was convinced, I went to the appointment to solve the nobiazgo and finally I ended the girl bonding with my person, there ended the friendship with the other boy, this situation sulen be dangerous.
And what about you, will you get that appointment for Eric?
I wish you a wonderful evening
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I will try but I don't see it going well. I don't think he and she are matched at all!! It might end up the same way your situation did!
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@lintah ·
I like the story you share, success always from Indonesia
properties (22)
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@meesterboom ·
Success to you too!
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@lintah ·
thank you
properties (22)
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@mcfarhat ·
$0.09
hahaha, i hear you, and yes being a softy can get one into all sorts of trouble, especially when match-making is in the works ...
keep us posted how that goes, .. and stay alert lol
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I am always alert for danger, like a sakura killer!! :OD
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@naquoya ·
$0.09
Maybe he should just learn to be friendly with her too. But these infatuations of ours do make us behave differently that usual. So now you find yourself with a new role - matchmaker. Could be a new blog series in the making?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Hahahaha, I sincerely hope not! I dont really fancy this stuck in the middle malarkey! He really should ust get talking to her himself but he seems to have regressed into schoolboy behaviour!
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@oaldamster · (edited)
$0.25
You know quite often men are blamed for having less of a vocabulary. Nonsense I'd say, take alone the extended vocabulary we have for things like marsturbation. 

To J-off, spanking the grease monkey, chocking the one eyed snake and let just me leave it at that. _Cracking one off_, just got added for me. 

Seems a bit dangerous to me though that cunning plan of Eric. What if she fancies you instead, but until that moment she was not aware of it? He'd be the odd one out. And she'd say something like: "Sorry Eric,  Boomster and I just were having a private conversation, see ya back at work, okay?" 

_There must be some kind of way out o' here_
_Said the joker to the thief_
_There's too much confusion here_
_I get can get no relief_
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.16
All along that watchtower!

I do love the million and one expressions for *knocking one out* etc. Hehehe We have more words for it than the eskimos have for snow!!

If she has any sense she will swoon and fall for me. I fail to see how she couldnt :O)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@oaldamster ·
$0.09
Yes, that's the one! 

Our vocab is just close to perfect, well, on some important issues that is, of course. 

And indeed she will go down, like a tree trunk that was not even sawn halfway through. It is the magic Boom touch. :-)

Wonder which way this will go...
👍  
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@onethousandwords ·
$0.10
Ha ha I'm with you on this. As a woman I always appreciate a man having the wherewithal to ask for a date. Even if the answer is no I always admire that you guys have to pony up and risk rejection. I love this line "Vegan eating crabsticks face."
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I liked that line too!

Yeah, I  think its much better to just go for it. If its a no its a no, if its a yes you will forever know that some other man practically guided you there with his grubby man hands!
👍  
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@onethousandwords ·
$0.09
Ha ha and no one needs grubby man hands involved in a date 😂
👍  
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@onetree ·
$0.19
*I had to step in to maintain the pace* I can't even.
👍  ,
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@meesterboom ·
Hehe, I know, but what if!! :0D
👍  
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@princessmewmew ·
$0.15
I am always getting in to these situations, I am *always* saying yes when I mean maybe or even NO. 

and also - what is a vinegar stroke. Do I even want to know?
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Hehe, you probably don't want to know!

But for the sake of clarity it is my duty to spread the good word. It's... the bit just before the, ahem *spurty spurty* where you make a funny face as if you have had a spoonful of vinegar!!
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@princessmewmew ·
$0.10
ahhhh. i didnt want to know

Spurty spurt. ... 😂😂
👍  
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@rothberg ·
$0.10
Something is telling me the story is about you. The only question remains whether it one of the guys or the girl. lol
Nice story though.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Lol, all the stories are about me!! Am I not the centre of everything? ;0)

It's not about me though!
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@milano1113 ·
Thank you! I think we cleared that one.
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@sift666 ·
$0.10
@meesterboom is the girl - he is always the girl in his stories...

![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQkpT2GH98Ws3G2PF5BingrKaVM7ui4EXtyj3BiJMvPfN/image.png)
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
$0.35
That's right! As I always say *are my balls hanging too low in this skirt?*
👍  ,
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@ryivhnn ·
You know what you must do now right?

First, excise that uncomfortable shift in your coal black heart.  That way lies in people thinking you're a *soft touch*.

Second, you're going to need an urgent phone call that requires you leaving that pseudodate in a hurry XD

Thirdly, celebrate your *cunning plan*.  (this is mostly just here because I like odd numbers)

<center>[![goatsig](https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2017/11/goatsig-t.png?itok=Ml3FDq7c)](/@ryivhnn)</center>
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@s3rg3 ·
$0.10
He did not want to fuck up his chances because he likes her to much. So he took out his wildcart, being you, so he has a fallback plan,  you make sure he gets an appointment with her, or you fucked it up big time so he has a second chance by asking her himself!

Genious and you are a softy indeed but one needed by mankind!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Too soft man. This kind of thing never works out. I will do it though and let him know he is forever in my debt lol!
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@sadpotato ·
$0.09
You've got such a soft heart boom :'(
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I know, like a pillow filled with goose feathers
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@sevinwilson ·
$0.09
You deserve a trophy for this! I have never been good at setting people up like this! You're too nice boom boom! :D
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.03
Maybe I should demand one that's engraved. *The Boom Maker!* :0D
👍  
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vote details (1)
@sevinwilson ·
$0.09
Or we could do a steem round with a bust of you on it
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@swenger ·
$0.10
When he shows up at the table where you and she are having coffee, invite him to sit and join the both of you.  After he sits, make the introductions, then ask him how his Herpes is clearing up, fake an emergency phone call, and leave the two of them in even more uncomfortable silence.
He will never ask you to play matchmaker again.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Haham I was half thinking of just making off with his beau, that would learn him!! :OD
properties (22)
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@team101 ·
$0.27
Matchmaker, matchmaker?  No way! https://media.giphy.com/media/xExOa3enG6n4s/giphy.gif
👍  ,
properties (23)
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
I am struggling to believe it myself! But wait, what if I am really good at it! It could be a new career!!
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
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@team101 ·
$0.27
Evidently you have charm and talent you had not recognized but those in need of this service pick up on it right away!  Lol.
👍  ,
properties (23)
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vote details (2)
@yanes94 ·
$0.09
Meestercupidoom hehehehe ;)
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@yaan ·
$0.09
Hey, Boom, I know one lady and she is cool. Maybe you can... aam... help me fill the gaps too? :d
👍  
properties (23)
authoryaan
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
But of course, hold on till I get my massive penis ready!! ;OD
properties (22)
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@zeppelin ·
$0.07
It was very sweet of you to help the poor, lovestricken man, Mr Boom!

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/P70LCefn9KM/hqdefault.jpg
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
WEll, agreed to help. I aint actually done anything yet! It was sweet though. I can see a new age for me!
properties (22)
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@zeppelin ·
$0.07
Mr. Boom, the Love Doctor.  lol soon, you'll have a new Steemit Profile just for offering advisements on love and other matters of the heart.  :)
👍  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)