I get the idea that the good lady is use to being pranked by you so nothing upsets her any more haha .  Now I am waiting to hear what happens to the knife.  Jeez luckily your daughter showed it to you.  In SA we will phone the police and they will say throw it away.  They do not even come out for many crimes..... part of our lives

Interesting. Interesting. Keep it civil ;)

Oh goody is said by Peppa Pig a million times :)

> My voice, already pitched in an octave that would cause erections in any nearby dogs

Really?? Your sense of humor is just crazy.

At least the police in your part are not irresponsible.

They don't pick at all and if they are picking it is after the problem has been solved or after someone has been killed.

Nice story

A free knife! And it's a fixed blade, too! Did you happen to find the sheath nearby? 

_Yo, don't ever call the cops about that sort of shit, if you do you're instantly a suspect._

This is fiction, am I right?

Dogs get erections and the sound of little girl shrieks? Learn something new everyday..

I watched someone at work dealing with the diatribe, round and round the loop you go. He sat at his desk and kept yelling, one! one! one! I guess he wanted the number one option. Then, he asked for the operator, then yelled it, 
all the while banging the phone on the desk...

Then he got all maniacal screaming, Operator, over and over. I thought they would have to take him away. 

Those loops will drive you to drink. 

That is actually pretty alarming, knowing they have little hoodlums walking around with knives where innocents are. 

Are you sure it was blood?  :))

Peppa Pig!!! Oh, Goody!  

You sorry lot would piss your pantaloons at the sight of what the average rural kid has on hand. I have three hunting knives ranging from mostly crap to halfway decent here by my computer as leftovers from my survival kit posts. I'd be a felon in the UK!

Don't worry, I cleaned up all the blood after my last murder spree. All clean and tidy now. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

When I read what you say on the phone menu I remembered when I made an appointment with the doctor, and then the number of questions from the person who attends you, what the hell, and the good lady earns your anger when your thumbs practically shoot her the message, and I guess you buried the knife, it's the quickest way out, ha ha ha

The police which you have called to render help couldn't do anything than just ask questions out of point instead of taking action.

@meesterboom Fortunately it wasn't an emergency, someone would have killed you while you were trying to contact a real person. Hahaha!!!

>Oh goody!

It mean "Oh God", or "Oh Good" ? Because option 2 is similar to my wife's answer when she leaves me alone with kid. 

Even if I send her a photo of me covered in blood, the baby is crying, and the cat is eating some shit from the floor, and the curtains are burning.

" Oh goody. I'll arrive in a couple of hours. I want to buy that thing for bubbles in the bathroom".

> _Sorry, I can't bring myself to say blood sausage ever since an unfortunate incident with an ex-girlfriend and an unexpected visit from the moon fairies whilst we were 'hiding the purple monkey'_ 

Arrr, like a true sailor, you've sailed all the seven seas! 

> Oh goody?! 

Next time add the magic virus word in there somewhere, doesn't matter how. Police will jump at it right away, dear ones will ask if you're safe. The media will be there way before the ambulance. "_Sir, you found the contaminated stabbing object with the infectious mud all over it, right?_" 

Recently had a conversation with an emergency service myself. "_Where are you sir?_" There was me thinking I would already have been spotted by a dozen satellites. Apparently I'm still chip free. 

"_On earth, and you?_", was not the right answer for me to give either. 

"_Your phone does not send your position to us Sir._", it was not my phone. Nor did I know phones could do that, without me giving permission. 

Anyway, forgot to say the magic virus word. That would probably have saved a lot of time. 

About time people got chipped, damned. Not me of course, as I do want to go through life like a ghost. Being invisibly visible, must be freaking awesome! 

#### Have a great one!

Oh yeah my friend in England used to go on and on about the joys of black pudding. She even convinced me to order some from Amazon...they ship it in dry ice and it aint cheap. (No we dont stock in out grocery stores here lol) I had no idea what it was, but it sure as hell was not the black chocolate type of pudding we usually refer to. 

https://youtu.be/6G_EDtd1yuM

You've found her murder weapon, now she has to "deal" with you when you get home XD

<sub>are you still there? :D</sub>

I have just walked stuff to the police before (because there's a copshop nearby and it's much easier to go there than deal with phones), they might be on your case for messing with crime scenes now though XD

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