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The Damned Torch by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$43.26
The Damned Torch
![1626g086517687-picsay.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmc5JFhqxQQSU85PKJsNmdf1yhZwRGggnoMZVwZ6vHwA9k/1626g086517687-picsay.jpg)


*Oh, come on... Not again!?!*

The Good Lady looked up from some weird *Octupine* yoga position.

*What's up, Daddy-Bear?*

She chirped cheerily as if the Yoga hadn't contorted her face scarily near her *lady-olive.*

*It's that fucking torch again.*

I said bleakly, standing and moving to the window to gaze out at the grey and wet of a typical Scottish summer day.

*A torch? I thought you liked torches?*

She said, twisting her leg up near her shoulder in an obvious attempt to imitate *The Kraken.*

*Not this one.*

My words hissed out between grimly clenched teeth.

*It's the Hive one. You know, I've told you about it before.*

I hawked up a bolt of phlegm and looked about for somewhere to spit it before remembering I wasn't in a seventies Western.

Reluctantly, I swallowed it back down into the pit. It had a foosty meaty taste, like bacon socks.

*Oh the one where people send you a pile of that Hive money to prove that the community is strong because if you steal it you will be destroyed so no one steals it even though everyone who gets it thinks about stealing it?*

She cackled like a crow snipping an earthworm in half with its wickedly sharp beak.

*That's the one.*

I shook my head. 710.014 Hiveys. Not quite enough to buy a new Xbox with. Bastards.

*How many times you been passed it now?*

The Good Lady cocked her arm above her head like a teapot whilst balancing on a leg and an elbow.

Idly, I wondered if she was trying to entice me in for a terrible *mouth shandy.*

She dispelled the notion by turning over and doing the same move but on her other side. 

Arse shandy?

Reluctantly I came to the conclusion that she was just doing yoga and not trying to entice my sperms out.

*I dunno, seventeen or something?*

 I picked at a spot near the window where our curtains would be if we had any of those evil things. 

I quivered as the memory of an ex-girlfriend, *Jannie* surfaced. She always looked as if she dressed in curtains and not in a good way. That wasn't what ended us though. One day I realised I just couldn't keep seeing someone who's name rhymed with *fanny.*

*So what are you going to do then?*

She asked almost as if for the briefest moment she was interested in anything Hiveish.

*I will just pass it on to some random Hiver. I suppose.*

But who? I wondered.

And then it came to me. A fiendish plan.

A plan steeped in fiendery. So fiendish, that if the plan was a man, the man would be a van and that van would be an evil mauve colour.

I chortled with glee. Oh yes,  knew exactly who to send it to...
πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 326 others
πŸ‘Ž  
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@abh12345 ·
$0.11
Don't you dare, I'm gonna spend it on hookers and blow this time I swear!
πŸ‘  , ,
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@meesterboom ·
HAhahahhahah!! You must have been psychic!! I was going to send it to the first reply and it was the G-DAwg!
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@abh12345 ·
A cunning plan, although it seems he is going to unleash the Kraken, or will it be a Mackem - even worse! :O
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@galenkp ·
Fuck head.
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@brandt ·
$0.06
Thanks for not sending me that torch. I'd probably just end up burning the whole place down.
πŸ‘  ,
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@meesterboom ·
I was going to send it but worried that it might be too colourful!
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@brandt ·
Lol. Yes, I tend to like my fires as bland and boring as possible!
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@captainquack22 ·
$0.06
Booms face on a ladys body.
Hmmm, a bit of a hottie!?!
You know its about to get rowdy....
πŸ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
Looks like I'm a hottie in any guise!!!!!! Lolz 🀣
πŸ‘  
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@captainquack22 ·
Dont forget to use a spittoon!  Just literally a spit jar lol

And the lady olive too.  If a man cant love a little olive, than why even be a man.
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@dandays ·
$0.05
Similar sighting sir. See I saw seventeen side by side plus special cinco so I sent said supplementary start everything with an S... *I have no idea.*
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Sssssufering suckotash! See! Simple. I cant even manage a five worder, I take my hat off to you!
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@diebitch ·
$0.10
In a white van there's a cove,
who's more evil than the mauve,
Yoga without windows rocks,
where to find bacon socks?
πŸ‘  ,
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@meesterboom ·
I like it... but surely, surely there is nothing more evil than the mauve!!! ;O)
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@diebitch ·
Its pretentious pronounciation maybe
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@dswigle ·
$0.07
I'm so glad I am too busy to make the first comments. I notice nobody wanted to touch this post. 

Was it the torch?  :))

I'm ~~not~~ sorry you had to give it to G-Dog. Well, he unloaded it. I have had that thing too many times. 
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.06
It was a good way of deciding who it should go to without too much thought :O)

I will blame the torch for everything..
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@dswigle ·
It was a great way! I wish I had thought about it. I think I just passed it off to Asher after you gave it to me.

Or maybe I gave it to you.

No. I wouldn't do that.
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@ecency ·
Your content has been **voted** as a part of [Encouragement program](https://ecency.com/ecency/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! <br><br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B141%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)
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@galenkp ·
$0.13
>She said, twisting her leg up near her shoulder in an obvious attempt to imitate The Kraken.

All Titans need a Kraken nearby you know Boomy.

Oh, and trust me, if you send me that fucking hive torch you'll wish it was the Kraken that violated you with it's Kraken-proboscis...It will be nothing compared to the horrors I'll visit upon you. 
πŸ‘  , ,
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vote details (3)
@meesterboom ·
$0.04
Oh no!!! That was the fiendish plan!! The very fiendish plan of mine was that the first to comment would get it. I have to send it to you now!!!

You passed the test Or should that be failed?

I will go into hiding now!
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@galenkp · (edited)
$0.15
Lol...Fuckety fucking fuck. 

Seriously, now I'm going to have to punish you...Hmm, what to do...Force feed you Vegemite, or make you drink Fosters? I know, read Doby's poetry to you! Punishment indeed. 

Edit: Boomy you cunt. You *actually* sent it to me? Asshole.
πŸ‘  , , , ,
properties (23)
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permlinkre-meesterboom-qw6k2y
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vote details (5)
@galenkp ·
And on it goes to...


![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/galenkp/23tRvSeS8qraFJBHQddsnoPZR8ghnJcYriqusp7Sz1jkNdRVaJRNYmQR3BroUo7mNW4gS.png)

Never to return to G-dog...or he might spend it on a new gun and end it once and for all...The torch, not himself.

See what this shit does to me? Makes me speak about myself in the third person. 
properties (22)
authorgalenkp
permlinkre-meesterboom-qw6ksp
categorylife
json_metadata{"tags":["life"],"app":"peakd/2021.07.2"}
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@meesterboom ·
The third person is great, Boomy like it!

I think he should fucking splurge on a new gun and say *and fucking what* when asked about it :OD
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqw6l52
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@galenkp ·
G-dog agrees, talking about oneself in the third person can be such fun. The ladies love it too. 

G-dog wants a new gun. 
properties (22)
authorgalenkp
permlinkre-meesterboom-qw6l91
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@gikitiki ·
$0.06
Would the van look something like this .... but with a little more polish?

![image.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmV4uMQctyorzGYCD6LjorPdAzoHsxdjHw9ga1vgev9iFr/image.png)
πŸ‘  ,
properties (23)
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
Oh no, no more polish required That is reassuringly *evil* :OD
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
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@lupega ·
Hi @meesterboom ,I like to read that while the good lady does yoga, she talks to you, the life of a married man is pleasant despite everything ha ha ha, the bad thing is having to make decisions based on what the couple proposes, let her decide who to send that amount to see who he chooses, well I guess he will not choose me, you can do the experiment
properties (22)
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@nonameslefttouse ·
$0.08
Someone around here appears to be extremely pissed they were not passed the torch.
πŸ‘  
properties (23)
authornonameslefttouse
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I thought that!! I  thought *aw, if that had come in half an hour earlier they would have got the torch!!* :0D
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqw70vf
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created2021-07-13 17:06:54
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@nonameslefttouse ·
*Just when I thought people were ready to start having fun again.  Fuck it.  Summer's cancelled.  LOL!*
πŸ‘  
properties (23)
authornonameslefttouse
permlinkre-meesterboom-qw72op
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vote details (1)
@revisesociology ·
$0.10
Dear sir, 

Truly you are blessed to be held in such high esteems here on this marvellous HIVE blockchain that you have received such an awesome gift so many times, no?

You are honoured, you are blessed and I am sure you made the noblest of decisions when consideration of whom to send it on to was made. 



πŸ‘  ,
properties (23)
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
$0.03
IT WAS HIM!!! GET HIM!!!!

If only internet pile ons happened like they do in real life...

Yes, I am more blessed than ever, in fact one day I will keep all the blessings :OD
πŸ‘  
properties (23)
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vote details (1)
@ryivhnn ·
$0.07
As soon as I saw mention of the hive torch I thought I better tiptoe past this one 🀣 but it looks safe to comment now 😜

Aargh this torch πŸ˜† why is it still a thing I mean the idea is great and all but it’s terrifying 😡
πŸ‘  
properties (23)
authorryivhnn
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
It is a terrifying thing. I thought of doubling down on you but then thought it was perhaps a tad cruel! This way seemed much easier.

Hopefully it ends soon. I am sure it has achieved its mission
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqw85bx
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@ryivhnn ·
After me foisting it on you without warning last time it would have been fair I guess ^_^;

<sub>I'm glad you didn't, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say the numbers make me panic >_></sub>

i think so.  And I hope they donate it to hive dev funds or something x_x
properties (22)
authorryivhnn
permlinkre-meesterboom-qw8ba6
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@slobberchops ·
$0.07
If you pass it to some dodgy bastard, then it'll never come back to you!
πŸ‘  , ,
πŸ‘Ž  
properties (23)
authorslobberchops
permlinkre-meesterboom-qw6qjz
categorylife
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vote details (4)
@meesterboom ·
$0.09
The thought had occurred to me. But where oh where on Hive would I find a dodgy bastard! ;O)
πŸ‘  ,
properties (23)
authormeesterboom
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vote details (2)