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The Mannity by meesterboom

View this thread on: hive.blogpeakd.comecency.com
· @meesterboom ·
$29.32
The Mannity
![IMG-PHOTO-ART-911343182.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmZzdojCaku7V75X5Dm4PMSbbWA27iQmVA924xZT6Bpuvp/IMG-PHOTO-ART-911343182.jpg)

*Hey darling, how's the wing-mirror, is it fixed yet?*

The Good-Lady trillled like a prize budgie nibbling one of those big seedy balls.

I made a weird hissing noise like a snake in a fire.

*No. The dude from the garage phoned. The new one is coming on Tuesday and I have to take it in then.*

I winced. I didn't like talking about the wing-mirror. It was an affront to my manhood. The memory of the day before rushed through my head.

I had raced to the supermarket for a beer run. I was in and out like Zorro on his wedding night and had trooped back to the car with a spring in my step despite the case of beer in my arms but then the sight that awaited me stopped me dead in my tracks. 

In the mere brief moments of my beer shop someone had had intercourse with my car. 

Meaning of course that they had fucked it.

I almost dropped my beer.

There she sat, immaculately parked in her bay with one wing-mirror forlornly hanging by a thread.

*Who did this to you?!*

I yelled, casting my head back and forth like a sick cow as I attempted to spy out the *car-fucker.*

But as hard as I looked, there was no *car-fucker* to be found. 

I got in the car and drove home. I reassured myself that it would be ok. I could fix this. After all, I had a garage full of duct-tape. How could it not be fixed?

Back home, I duct-taped the car for hours until it resembled a suit of armour's penis but to no avail. The damn wing mirror wouldn't stay fixed in place. 

To add insult to injury the mirror was so cracked that looking in it reminded me of the Bruce Lee fight with that old pensioner in Enter the Dragon.

https://youtu.be/WoMVfvS8rSo?t=220

And so, I had to swallow my man pride and call the Garage. 

The Garage man, as friendly as a man who cuckolded other men for a living could be, had grinned down the phone at me  and told me to bring it in on Tuesday and he would sort it out.

Sighing, I put the phone down and cleared my throat in a manly way. 

The sound was reedy and thin like a  Spaniard's cigarette.

After a time, I had regained some of my vim. There was nothing wrong with not being able to fix something, I told myself. 

Everyone needs a helping hand occasionally, surely?

Yes. I was no less of a man for calling the Garage. 

I snapped back to the present. The Good-Lady was saying something, her mouth flapping open and closed like a Sesame Street puppet.

*So, I was speaking to my friend Germaline and she said her husband could pop around and have a look at the wing mirror. Rather than wait till Tuesday. That ok?*

She beamed like a woman who had decided *[mid-gammie](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gammie)* that teeth make everything much more exciting.

My pendulous testicles juddered backward from the impact of her words.

*Wait, what? You have called another man in to fix my thing?*

I squawked somewhat deliriously.

*Yeah, you've met him, remember? Germaline's husband, Big Andy?*

The Good Lady's eyes sparkled, no doubt imagining Big Andy and his smudgy sausage fingers looming over her all covered in oil.

*I am familiar with Big Andy, yes. I know you will laugh but I don't really want another man poking about with my car.*

I sniffed disapprovingly. 

*Oh god. This isn't about you and your mannity, is it?*

The Good Lady rolled her eyes in exasperation as if my mannity was but an annoying *thing* and not something that was integral to the way that the universe worked.

*No, of course it isn't.*

I lied manfully.

*Good, because he is on his way.*

The Good Lady turned away, the matter settled. 

I made a sad cat face. Another man, fiddling with my beautiful car? Touching its insides? And me, watching from the sidelines?

I stood up sadly. I supposed I had better go and choose a nice dress for the occasion.
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 289 others
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vote details (353)
@alishi ·
$0.03
0 Dear .... if another man has to fiddle with your gun, your car or your wife.  The horror . Hhahahaha o you men and your egos.  But worse is the person who did this to your car and just left.  People suck.  Hope all is fixed now
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Hehe, it is all fixed now. Despite the prospect of the earth exploding in a rage at the almost breaking  of the unwritten rule of man we got through it and my good car is usable again.

And, yes. I was mighty annoyed at the buggers for not even leaving a note!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@alishi ·
I must honestly admit that I also have a problem with accepting help from others.  Glad it is fixed
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@azircon ·
$0.02
I had this happened to me: couple of years back (pre-Covid) (we have now learned to call 'time' as PC and AC, pre-Covid and after-Covid; like BC and AD from history books!).

I bumped my wing mirror to a landscaper's trailer containing all kind of junk, while I was fiddling with my car's stereo to play the 'correct' Michael Jackson song!

That stupidity cost me 600 bucks.... let me know how much yours cost! :)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
For a whole new mirror piece it is meant to be nearly 400 pounds and that doesn't include the fitting - so kinda similar! I am hoping that the garage man can work on the temporary fix and do something for a bit less. I doubt it though!

Bloody wing mirrors, I await the judgement tomorrow of the final cost!!
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@azircon ·
At least you can say, you didn't do anything! You were innocent .... not even bystander ...

I was not so lucky! So I took a beating... :)
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@creativemary ·
$0.03
Hahahaha. Some things are indeed always seen as being the definition of being a man. Like fixing stuff. Duct tape can only go so far.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
There should be no limits on duct tape!! Never! :0D
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@creativemary ·
Hahaha yeah, it can come in handy for sure
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@creativemary ·
Hey you! I wish you a Happy Christmas with the Good Lady and the kids. Hopefully a lot of beer under the tree! Cheers!
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@dswigle ·
$0.03
Oh, your mannity has been assaulted!! On the other hand, spammy ham fingered Andy fixed it in a jiffy. 

What color was the dress?? And where have you been man? We miss you!

!tip
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Hehe, he did fix it in a jiffy! He fixed it with a degree of panache I can only envy. Fortunately, the good lady hasn't decided to trade me in!!

I've been chillin with my homies in the hood!! ;0)
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@dswigle ·
$0.03
Chillin with the homies!!?? You have no move COVID there!? Lucky you. We are falling back into hell here.  :(
👍  
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vote details (1)
@gikitiki ·
$0.03
I hope when you spoke to Big Andy, you let him know that you would have fixed your wing mirror yourself ... but you didn't have any tools small enough to do the job.   Al of your tools were "man sized"!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Lol, that's what I should have said. But maybe I didn't have to and it was apparent in my sheer manly seeming ineptitude!
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@hivebuzz ·
Congratulations @meesterboom! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x70/http://hivebuzz.me/@meesterboom/upvotes.png?202010271317"></td><td>You distributed more than 87000 upvotes. Your next target is to reach 88000 upvotes.</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view your badges on [your board](https://hivebuzz.me/@meesterboom) and compare yourself to others in the [Ranking](https://hivebuzz.me/ranking)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>



**Do not miss the last post from @hivebuzz:**
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@hivebuzz ·
@meesterboom, thank you for supporting the HiveBuzz project by voting for our witness.

[![](https://images.hive.blog/70x70/http://hivebuzz.me/badges/supportbuzz.png)](https://hivebuzz.me/@meesterboom) Here Is a small present to show our gratitude
<sub>_Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor._</sub>

Once again, thanks for your support!

**Do not miss the last post from @hivebuzz:**
<table><tr><td><a href="/hivebuzz/@hivebuzz/update-202011"><img src="https://images.hive.blog/64x128/https://i.imgur.com/C5NcoUe.png"></a></td><td><a href="/hivebuzz/@hivebuzz/update-202011">Project Activity Update</a></td></tr></table>
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@hivebuzz ·
Hey @meesterboom, 
Sorry to jump in a bit off-topic.
We are very grateful that you currently support the HiveBuzz proposal, but it will expire in a few days.
Do you mind to cast your vote for the [renewal proposal](https://peakd.com/me/proposals/147) we made for 2021 so we can continue with our work? 
Thank you. Wish you a happy Xmas 🎅

https://peakd.com/me/proposals/147
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@meesterboom ·
Done!!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@hivebuzz ·
Thank you so much 👍<div class="pull-right"><a href="/@hive.engage">![](https://i.imgur.com/XsrNmcl.png)</a></div>
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@jacobtothe ·
$0.03
Och, if yer auld woman be sendin' fer another man tae fiddle wi' yer wing-mirror, it's all over.

Or however it goes in Scots.
👍  
👎  
properties (23)
authorjacobtothe
permlinkre-meesterboom-qidr4o
categorylife
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
$0.03
I think I had an uncle that spoke a little like that...

But we burned him at the stake!! ;0p
👍  
properties (23)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqidwod
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vote details (1)
@jacobtothe ·
$0.04
Where the *fuck* did you go? If you don't post soon, I'll have to assume you're dead. That means I'll have to take the trouble to smuggle myself to Scotland, resurrect your sorry ass, and then kick you in the balls so hard you die again. POST SOMETHING NEW, DAMMIT!
👍  
properties (23)
authorjacobtothe
permlinkre-meesterboom-qjxmu7
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.03
Lol!! But I want to see all of the above!! Apart from the ball kicking to death bit!! 🤣🤣
👍  
properties (23)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqjxn9t
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vote details (1)
@jacobtothe ·
You've heard of keyboard warriors, right? People who talk big on the internet but do fuck-all in real life?

I'm a keyboard necromancer.

Sorry I had to admit it in public. I am so ashamed.
properties (22)
authorjacobtothe
permlinkre-meesterboom-qjxnk9
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@lupega ·
$0.02
Everything you do and you could simply pay someone to fix the mirror ha ha ha we can't fix everything, the good lady has a lot of patience with you and seems to enjoy your occurrences.
Greetings
👍  
properties (23)
authorlupega
permlinkqicjh6
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json_metadata{"app":"hiveblog/0.1"}
created2020-10-17 12:46:24
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
She wants another man to claim mastery over me, what a bad lady she is!! :0D
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqicjp2
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json_metadata{"app":"hiveblog/0.1"}
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@lupega ·
definitely you have no remedy ha,ha,ha
properties (22)
authorlupega
permlinkqick37
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@nickyhavey ·
$0.03
Damn, the saying "if duct tape doesn't work, use more duct tape" has been rumbled! Maybe just put the duct tape over your mouth to stop yourself from any undue swearing? 😁
👍  
properties (23)
authornickyhavey
permlinkre-meesterboom-qiesjj
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
He threw something new into the mix when the duct tape couldn't hold it... Wire!! I was like, mercy man the world can't take it but he pushed it in and gave it a twist and boom, everything was righted again!! :0D
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
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@nickyhavey ·
W...w...wire??

https://media.giphy.com/media/oYtVHSxngR3lC/giphy.gif
properties (22)
authornickyhavey
permlinkre-meesterboom-qieur3
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@oaldamster ·
$0.10
Wait, wait, what?Ducktape could not fix it?Then th...
Wait, wait, what!? 
Ducktape could not fix it? 
Then the garage should handle it! 

It is some serious shit. 
Another man coming to fix it? 
How, can he make the tape sticky icky icky? 

What kind of a world are we living in. 
A man his castle is his home. 
No other man touches what is in it, and lives to tell. 

But, as he is quite huge, you might just offer him a beer instead and talk man stuff. 


 Posted using [Dapplr](https://app.dapplr.in/E8CDQRJcpwYNAWo38)
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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vote details (13)
@meesterboom ·
I was appalled at this violation of mannity!! The Good Lady had taken leave of her senses.

I mean whatever next, will she hire a man to clean her pipes!?!

Hehe, it was alright. We did have a beer and lament the inability of the duct tape to fix it. Looks like garage man still has a job :0)

!ENGAGE 30
👍  
properties (23)
authormeesterboom
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vote details (1)
@dswigle ·
Ha!! I found this when I was looking for you~!!
👍  
properties (23)
authordswigle
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vote details (1)
@oaldamster ·
Some sacred things should stay untouched. :Hahaha,...
Some sacred things should stay untouched. :-)

Hahaha, yes a fellow man will understand, like a brother from another mother, while having a beer, wondering together how on earth ductape was unable to fix it. Shared pain is half the pain. 

The garage man will probably tell you how he fixed it and why you should not use ductape ever. No beer, no fun. Rub it in and there is your bill. 


Time for a Gouden Carolus whisky infused now, have to deal with ductape letting a man down. 

Cheers! 

 Posted using [Dapplr](https://app.dapplr.in/E8CDQRJcpwYNAWo38)
properties (22)
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@misterengagement ·
<center>  Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved <code>ENGAGE</code> tokens.</center>
👍  
properties (23)
authormisterengagement
permlinkre-waitwaitwhatducktapec-mf14tjxymfmwyr7vsi7y0ipujqtgodin-20201017t195518z
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vote details (1)
@old-guy-photos ·
$0.03
Meh dont sweat it Boom. Us real men have far more important things to do like contemplating much more weighty, world changing issues to take the time to fool around with a silly car mirror :)
👍  
properties (23)
authorold-guy-photos
permlinkqih5ti
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created2020-10-20 00:39:18
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
That's right!! We have loftier things to be thinking about!!! :0D
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqiir4i
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@silviabeneforti ·
$0.05
I use to check your profile to see if there something new from you and... I miss your contents!!!! Ok, waiting youll coming back, I send you a warm hugs ^_^
👍  
properties (23)
authorsilviabeneforti
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Hola!! Aw thanks lass. Don't worry, I will be back. Having a bit of a break for a moment but couldn't stop writing for good! :0D
👍  
properties (23)
authormeesterboom
permlinkql8gmy
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vote details (1)
@slobberchops ·
$0.03
What.. you don't have one of those fancy cars that tucks the mirrors in when you switch off the engine? My car is ancient.. but still has the whirring tuck in feature.
👍  
properties (23)
authorslobberchops
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
It has it but you have to press a button to pull them in and annoyingly I don't possess it half the time. Looks like I might have learned a lesson!!
properties (22)
authormeesterboom
permlinkqie486
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@tipu ·
&#127873; Hi @meesterboom! You have received 0.1 HIVE tip from @dswigle!<br><p><strong>Check out <a href=https://www.peakd.com/@dswigle>@dswigle blog here</a> and follow if you like the content :)</strong></p><p><a href="https://peakd.com/steemit/@tipu/tipu-tips-guide" rel="noopener">Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide.</a></p>
properties (22)
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