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Transformation #2 by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$18.44
Transformation #2
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--1975494978.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmacq3H1G1az8RyFjSxT8eEqBHcErP6VbQpXV61XSCcYWr/IMG-PHOTO-ART--1975494978.jpg)

I squinted at the computer screen in front of me and let out an airy grunt like a flatulent Donkey with a cork jammed up its arse.

My boss had sent me a document to review with the subject line screaming -

![hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813175644332.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUBVk2kwoFLVv97jbM3gNfsMLPGZeFL1i3Eow8T1tZHcC/hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813175644332.jpg)

I tore my gaze from the screen and looked out the window. It was raining. It always seemed to be raining these days. 

I needed a case. A private detective like myself was nothing without *detectivity* in his life.

Even the thought of masturbating into a jar of pickled garlic cloves wasn't helping shift my malaise.

Sighing, I turned back to the screen.

Next to me a chair creaked and I swiveled my chair around to grumpily chastise the owner, *Mikey.*

![hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813181103237.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdKC7kNaphCwr1dm9tPq6SbREF1G9B8tDwshCHLtgQFcY/hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813181103237.jpg)

*Hey, can you stop making so much bastarding noise? I'm trying to work here!?*

*Work?? You've been staring at your screen for the better part of three hours. I wish I had that kind of 'work.'*

Mikey snarked in response.

My hand snaked out and grabbed *Mikey's* pen from his desk, making him flinch.

*You like pens, Mikey? You think they will let you have pens in prison?*

I growled at him like I was a man who had seen too many pens in his life.

![hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813181357641.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVJCof1Vh69ipF6DobcRXLmpwuFPV1eFVPCHfuAgawYzQ/hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813181357641.jpg)

*Hey! Gimme that back!?*

*Mikey* hooked a hand out to snatch at his pen but I darted back and leapt to my feet brandishing it as if I were in a room full of factory workers and the pen was indeed my jam-smeared penis.

*Not so fast, sunshine.*

*BoomDawg, give me my bloody pen back. Haven't you got work to do?*

He whined piteously like a fox on a treadmill wondering where the end was.

![hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813181755432.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmU6ffNKFHLto5WgzQhS3sK3C6siV9i3ysvaGuoF2w3cH6/hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813181755432.jpg)

I flicked it contemptuously at him and he grabbed it clumsily from the air.

*That's just a taster, Mikey. Now, tell me. What's the word on the street? Who is sticking what to who? When is the man not the man?*

*Mikey* clutched at his pen and glared at me.

*There's nothing new happening. Oh, wait. One of the guys was saying something about a new Transformation project kicking off?*

*Mikey's* voice trailed off and he looked at me with concern.

*Hey, are you ok?*

![hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813182032349.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcCwtp7nQBUsqeT6hw1tPdWVDwWr24asQwy1XjnV5rm4X/hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813182032349.jpg)

I blinked rapidly. *Transformation...* There was a word that stirred up painful memories. Memories best left untouched.

*Transformation you say?*

My voice was quiet, dangerous sounding.

*Yeah you know, like upgrading our systems and IT processes and shit?*

I leapt forward and grabbed *Mikey* by the front of his off-white, grubby shirt.

*An upgrade to our archaic IT systems, Mikey? Or a dreadful experiment conducted by shadowy figures within our organisation who may or may not be terrestrial in origin!?*

![hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813182226082.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNb3jHWM8RiFB2yWzZ2MSAchnTn3RiBChPpLFLPR4thPU/hfydtasfj_20190806181948082_20190807181009906_20190808181104523_20190809171819418_20190812185704871_20190813182226082.jpg)

*Mikey* struggled and sputtered in my iron grip. At the back of my mind I hoped he wasn't becoming aroused. Hell, I hoped I wasn't.

*What!?! Shadowy whats!? No!? I don't know what the hell you are talking about!?*

Dismissively, I let him go. He slumped into his chair like an old bag of washing.

So, *Mikey* was denying the involvement of aliens in the matters of men? Denying some kind of fiendish plot to subvert humanity into something *else...*

This could only mean one thing. 

I pulled on my coat and reached out for my Fedora settling it onto my head at a jaunty angle. 

It looked like I had a case...

https://youtu.be/vkal2bNKZe4
πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 183 others
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@abh12345 ·
$0.03
But what about the urgent review?!
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom · (edited)
Nothing is as urgent as the safety of the human race!! ;0D
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@abh12345 ·
$0.04
Excuses, excuses.  Not a bad one though but you will be feeling the wrath in the morning!
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@angryman ·
$0.04
>Even the thought of masturbating into a jar of pickled garlic cloves wasn't helping shift my malaise.

Man...If *that* thought didn't rouse you from the doldrums...perhaps *nothing* would...!?!?!? My sympathies...
πŸ‘  ,
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@meesterboom ·
I know, you know it's serious when that doesn't help. Even worse, I am clean out of garlic mayo!!
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@angryman ·
$0.04
A most maddening pre-dick-ament to be in; I'm sure...????
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@anneke ·
$0.04
Where there is an upgrade there is a conspiracy............ I hate upgrades.  Glad Mickey is back - he has been gone a while but still a whimp it seems LOL
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@meesterboom ·
Always am establishment wimp that man. Hell end up in prison!! ;0D
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@choogirl ·
$0.04
Did you give him his pen back?
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@meesterboom ·
HAhahaha! Of course. I'm not a monster! :O)
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@choogirl ·
🤔 😂  
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@dreemit ·
$0.04
What I wan to know is- why did Fedora's go out of fashion, they're so dashing! On you at least πŸ˜‰

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/dreemit)
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@meesterboom ·
I think it is one of the greatest crimes ever to befall humanity. Bring em back and spats whatever the hell they are!
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@ocdb ·
re-meesterboom-transformation-2-20190818t172416818z
You got a 17.76% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @meesterboom!  :)

@ocdb is a non-profit bidbot for whitelisted Steemians, current max bid is 15 SBD and the equivalent amount in STEEM.
Check our website https://thegoodwhales.io/ for the whitelist, queue and delegation info. Join our [Discord channel for more information.](https://discord.gg/k2Hu77b)


If you like what @ocd does, consider voting for [ocd-witness through SteemConnect](steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=ocd-witness&approve=1) or on the [Steemit Witnesses page.](https://steemit.com/~witnesses) :)
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@partiko ·
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
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@ryivhnn ·
$0.04
Finding trouble where there's none again? XD

<center>https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2017/11/goatsig-t.png?itok=Ml3FDq7c</center>
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Without trouble there is no life!!
properties (22)
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created2019-08-14 16:30:09
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root_title"Transformation #2"
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