![IMG-PHOTO-ART--917252225-picsay.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmdWhBFDTcvxPQkfrydSPhe9bCaAbutdBawG9HA861jghs/IMG-PHOTO-ART--917252225-picsay.jpg)


*So, you up for it Boom-Dawg?*

*El-Jefe* beamed from my laptop screen, his smile resembling salted maggots.

I stared at him before casting a glance at the other participants in the video call. We had received communication from up high that the *Executive Team* were concerned for their minions mental health with all this working from home malarkey that we were doing.

In other words, one of the directors must have been reading *[The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/)* again.

A result of this was that we were being *encouraged* to engage in some social activities. So far there had been threats of a socially distanced meet up in a town park or a *virtual pub quiz.*

I had roundly shot down the idea of the Park meet-up, announcing distastefully that is sounded too much like *[dogging](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogging_(sexual_slang))* to me and that if I wanted to masturbate,  I would do so in the comfort of my own home, without my colleagues enthusiastically clapping me on to the *[vinegar stroke.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vinegar%20Stroke)*

I had accompanied this statement with a face similar to the one I make when the Good Lady announces its *Quinoa balls* for dinner.

*Um... Well, the thing is...*

A succession of rueful, apologetic faces marched across my face as if it were the floor of a circus tent.

*Hey, come on man! It will be fun!*

*Wetty,* another of my colleagues on the call glistened out at me. 

*It's just that... Ermm... I...*

I blew out a big puff of air from my inflated cheeks like a Roofer insulting a man's garage roof. I was in a bind. I had shot down the park meet up and that only left the *virtual pub quiz.*

Was it just me or did that sound like the shittest thing ever?

*I mean, surely you don't have any other plans?*

Some buffoon with teeth chortled at me from my screen. He looked like a feverish beaver and not the good kind.

I had no idea who he was. 

This COVID working from home malarkey was a pisser. When you were in the office you could tell who was important and not to be messed with by the clothes they wore. 

Not so easy on a video call, where everyone dresses as if they were either going for a run or a rake in the local supermarket's bins.

*So, tonight, 8 o'clock?*

*El Jefe* chuckled at me, raising a glass of water to the camera.

*And this, this will be beer!*

He cried, nodding at his greasy-looking water.

The rest of the people on the call cheered loudly then started disconnecting. 

Soon there was just me staring at a black screen.

I raised my can of beer which had been conveniently out of sight and chuckled.

*Why wait till eight?*