The unexamined life is not worth living  - Socrates 

Many people go through life blindfolded, not knowing who they really are internally.  Waking up each morning is often a struggle, as we usually know we will be spending time doing something that we are not passionate about. We have been conditioned into working long hours in order to be able to live a life we want. Through marketing and advertising, we are taught to accumulate and purchase superficial and non-essential items as we go on ‘shopping sprees’ to cure our anxiety, depression and sadness that is usually caused by living an unfulfilled life.  We have also started to use other individuals like we do things, just for as long as they provide some benefit to us.  Most people are confused and perplexed about their goals and values that they tend to go through life with no real meaning. We need to start living a life that aligns itself with what is most meaningful to us. Life becomes so much easier and much more fulfilling once we find our passion and our purpose. The answers to what fulfills us can be found in assessing our core values.

Core values are patterns of behavior and beliefs of what is uniquely important to us in our life. Uniquely meaning your core values that drive you to move forward. One of the most fundamental aspects of being human is being able to know who you are, what you believe in and what you stand for. These values would be completely different of that of your best friend, sibling or spouse as there is no one else in this world like you. Most people do not live their lives in alignment to their values and that is where we go wrong. Life is often lived from the inside out and the very core of who you are and what you stand for is your values.  Your values make you who you are.  Most decisions and most aspects of your life are conducted by your values whether you know it or not as it happens subconsciously.  The clearer these values are for you to identify and the more thought you put into what makes you happy, the more accurate and effective your actions will become. 

Your life needs to be organized around your values. Stress and negativity that affects the value of your life occurs when you choose to live your life outside of your values. When experiencing stress or anxiety you must stop and ask yourself, in what way are you compromising your values?  Values change constantly and need to be reviewed regularly to ensure that your current circumstances reflect that of your values.  You are not your past and you have the ability to change your past mistakes by understanding what you value.

How to identify what values you hold? Your values are often reflected through your actions. Your actions when you are faced with a certain situation where you are forced to choose between two different behaviors determine what you value more depending on which course of action has been taken.  All values can be ranked from highly important to less important.  Therefore you need to organize these values by priority. You will need to look at the past and see what drove decisions when faced with a dilemma. 

Examples of Values:
Wealth, Health, Travel, Family, Career, Certainty, Personal Growth, Reflection, Uniqueness, Connection, Love, Culture, Ethics, Fashion. 

Remember, many people believe that happiness is an example of a core value, but happiness is essentially the end goal when all your goals are aligned in your life. 

You need to make sure that your values are aligned with the person who you spend the most time with, otherwise, you will always be in conflict. You can use this technique to highlight the problems in your workplace, relationship and friendship groups by seeing whether their values align or a different than yours. There is nothing wrong with having different values as long as both parties understand what values each one possesses and in turn what drives the individual.



Clarify your values:

1. What is the most important thing in your life? What do you stand for and what makes you who you are?

2. What is important to you about the thing you chose in question 1.

3. How do you know when you have achieved that thing in your life in question 1. What is the feeling that you get?

4. What else is important in life? (Make a list of a further five to seven most important values in your life. Make sure you address question 2 and 3)

5. From a scale of 1 to 10, how content are you with your values being met?
Rank these values in regards to importance in your life (which of these values is more important than the other)