<html>
<p>Hello All. In case you missed previous article, here it is - <a href="https://steemit.com/emotions/@miserableoracle/my-journey-in-search-of-true-emotions">Compassion</a></p>
<p><strong>Emotions.</strong> An important defining factor about how your life will turn out to be. You may live a life as a billionaire or a homeless person, but the emotions you have, affect every single thing which surrounds you, every single person who's part of your comfort zone, whom you allowed to enter that special circle. While it was important to understand each emotion, I stumbled upon a major one, and as it is for everyone, it took great toll on me as well. Although ephemeral, but intense. I somehow now understand 1% about how a depressed person would feel like. Its pure mixture pain, agony, hatred, and darkness. Let's talk a little bit more about this major emotion called sadness..</p>
<p><strong>2. Sadness<br>
</strong><em>What is sadness for you ?</em> Is it that you lost your loved one, a relative, or may be someone you cared about so much that you might have fought with grim reaper if you had the powers.? Why it is important to understand this emotion ?</p>
<p>Well for starters, I've always understood one thing, <em>"You'll only understand value of something when you loose it".</em> It stands true in this case as well with a slightly different perspective. <br>
<em>"You need to feel sadness, understand and embrace it, to understand the value of happiness."</em> At least that's what I think. </p>
<p>Similar to other emotions, sadness doesn't come alone. It brings pain, agony, stress, and other smaller but effective emotions into the party. To understand sadness, let's take an example which I felt more suitable to corner down the sadness leaving all those tailors behind. </p>
<p>I'm a very private person. I tend to hide certain things from even my closest friends. I chose a single private thing to tell a friend, and other thing to tell the other one. Because having a single best friend knowing all about you, is a ticking time bomb, which very well holds a potential to explode and blow your life away in a blink of an eye. This method has its own con as well. For example, there'll be no one who'll fully understand you, which is somehow unsettling when you have a long way to go. </p>
<p>This private person went to a party his friend held, just because he didn't wanted to reject his friend's invitation for the third time. After much self-convincing techniques done is front of a mirror, our private guy got ready for the party. To his surprise, he met a girl who's name somehow translated into<em> "The world"</em>. The girl's approach towards him scared him for a moment. He always thought that he's an ugly shit who doesn't deserve anyone better. But his mind explored the idea of this girl trying to change that fact. The fortress around his heart was broken in a few seconds as the girl used her magical superpowers of words and beauty. <br>
</p>
<p>They talked for a long time about a lot of stuff. Our private guy came to know that she and him got so many similar interests. Even their playlist matched almost 80%. As if the alternate personality, the guy allowed his heart for the first time to feel, he gave it the much deserved freedom it needed for a long time now. Do you know ? For an Otaku and hardcore gamer, if the counter part has the same interests, divinity gets involved to force our gamer into the pits of love. Psychology suggests that it takes 4 minutes of eye contact for two people to fall in love, and 21 days to strengthen and allow that rosebud to be a fully grown glittering rose. </p>
<p>Our private person, wandering in the new found world, allowed his heart and mind to be swayed in these winds of wonders. Making scenarios in his mind, utilising his imagination power over the limits. And one day, as if his dream came true, the girl messaged him. He was panicking around the whole house just by seeing her message, but he finally composed himself and sent a reply. His restless fingers, as if they had their own mind, dialled her number and next thing he knew, they were going to a coffee shop later that night as girl wanted to talk about something. </p>
<p>Butterfly flying in his stomach, he dressed well for his upcoming so-called date. Different simulations running in his mind, he reached the coffee shop earlier than the decided time. After waiting for a few minutes, which seemed like an eternity, the girl finally arrived and they reserved a table with the view of the city glittering in lights of passing cars on the highway, sky scrappers trying to win a competition of touching the sky first, clouds as if lost, floated around without any destination. A warm and luminous room filled with at times fading white and black colours. His ears listening her words, but mind revoked the support and wandered of in the galaxies. And suddenly,<br>
</p>
<p><strong>Girl :</strong> "Umm.. I.. I want to tell you something."<br>
As if his mind was nuked, thoughts exploded. Trying his best to keep his smile hidden as if he guessed what was coming,<br>
<strong>Guy :</strong> "What is it ? Tell me.."<br>
But as he listened to her words, time slowed down, to allow him to regret the question he just asked. He wished he shouldn't have come, shouldn't have met, shouldn't have opened the cage which entrapped his heart since a long time. <br>
</p>
<p><strong>Girl:</strong> "I... I'm in love with your roommate."<br>
<em>*Crack*</em><br>
<strong>Girl (continuing) :</strong> "And you're the only one who can help me."<br>
<em>*Craaaaaack*</em><br>
<strong>Girl (continuing) :</strong> "I can't live without him. And I've heard that he listens to you only."<br>
<em>*Shatterrrred.. Million pieces on the ground. A long beep in his ears. Everything frozen in time.*<br>
*SNAP OUT OF IT....!!!*</em><br>
<strong>Guy:</strong> "Oh. Um. Sure.. Do you want me to talk to him right now..?" <br>
<strong>Girl: </strong>"I'm not sure. Is it wise to tell him on phone ?"<br>
*Soul left the lifeless body. A zombie walking around*<br>
<strong>Guy:</strong> "Sure. Give me a minute."</p>
<p>He returns after a few minutes, with a smile on his face that almost looked as if forced. But he believed that he was good at lying and acting. </p>
<p><strong>Guy:</strong> "Yea. So.. I talked to him, and he is waiting for you at home. He said he can come to pick you up. What's your plan.?"<br>
</p>
<p><strong>Girl:</strong> "He did ?"<br>
<em>*Gosh that smile on her face...*</em><br>
<strong>Girl:</strong> "I think I will go there by myself. Or what do you suggest?<br>
<em>*Are you seriously kidding me right now ? What kind of hell is this ?*</em><br>
<strong>Guy:</strong> " Umm.. I don't know. He can come here to pick you up, you know.. Its not that far from here.."<br>
<em>*Far.. A far away scar.*</em></p>
<p>The guy tried to keep her entertained while waiting for his roommate to arrive and pick the princess up. He waved his hand at them and went back to the place he was sitting earlier. Everything now, looked different. The city wasn't looking beautiful anymore, it was as if lights were diminishing and darkness taking over. The sky scrappers looked like some giant malevolent figures. The sky was emanating sorrows. Time wasn't stopping anymore, heart seemed to miss a few beats as if it forgot how to pump the blood. <br>
</p>
<p>Guy took out his phone, and messaged his roommate, </p>
<p>"Hey, I've got some urgent work. I won't be coming home tonight."<br>
And a reply came after a few quick minutes,<br>
"I was about to tell you to stay out for a while, she's here with me.."<br>
<em>*Kaboooooommmm....!!!*</em><br>
</p>
<p>This roller coaster ride roamed a little more in the sadness zone. He probably needed someone to talk to, or some dark corner to cry his heart out, or some cliff to jump off from. But he refrained from thinking about the ideas, and told his mind about how strong he is and how easily he can overcome this. </p>
<p>Psychology states that our mind can be fooled. If you lie to yourself that you're happy for a long enough time, you'll eventually end up being happy. And that's exactly what I did. Not letting anyone know how much it hurt, how much I needed someone by my side, tell me that its okay and everything will be alright. But I do that, I'll be addicted to the sympathies. And then I'll never come out of the sadness. So I closed myself into my own mind castle where I could cry, break things, hurt myself and no one will know about it. On the outside, acting all strong as if my life couldn't have been any more perfect than it is right now.</p>
<p>- Sadness is, the diamond you can see but can not touch<br>
- Sadness is, the look in your friend's eyes who recently faced a big loss in his life<br>
- Sadness is, waiting for 6 hours for someone's reply and they don't.<br>
- Sadness is, loosing the hope.<br>
- Sadness is, the tears which won't come out of your eyes no matter how hard you try.<br>
- Sadness is, the lonely night and no one around to talk to.<br>
- Sadness is, forcing yourself to smile when actually you want to cry out loud.<br>
- Sadness is, not able to explain how you're feeling.<br>
- Sadness is, the need of someone to share things when you're alone.<br>
- Sadness is, having no shoulder when you need to cry.<br>
- Sadness is, sadness..</p>
<p>People standing at the extreme of either happiness or the sadness, do not care about the other end. Its the one in the middle who suffer. </p>
<p>Although this emotion deserves a whole book to be explained, I wouldn't try going any deeper otherwise this would be my last article. But to come out of it, I learned that fooling the people around you and yourself that you're OK, eventually let you forget the sadness, slowly and painfully, but efficiently.. </p>
<p><img src="http://40.media.tumblr.com/efa81caed26d42c3abf7bb8075e74cb2/tumblr_ngjp9bRUY21sliirlo1_500.jpg" width="500" height="355"/></p>
<p><a href="http://rebloggy.com/post/lost-art-black-and-white-sad-white-pain-black-mind-sadness-faces-confusion-dispe/105127748222">Image Credit</a></p>
</html>
hiveblocks