#2 Self inquiry and finding tools

It was an unbearable burden, have come to accept that I was often not "enough" for my family!  Because I soon realized that what my son made me notice about my "state of mind", was actually my "normal" way of functioning. I would, without intention, "divide" my mind to more than one task. Having learned that that doesn't "feel good" to my environment, I tried everything to be "mindful". Another expression I had heard so many times before,  it only now took on a meaning. After a few weeks of fruitless attempts to reign in my mind, so that it would allow me to put my "undivided" attention on someone , which by now I had accept was what he wanted from me. My undivided attention translates to him as him being the most important person to me at the moment, I concluded I was incapable of holding this special state for anymore than a few seconds! 

After this realization, as "luck" would have it, I was listening to someone on the radio, that was describing exactly the mental experiences I was having and was talking about how meditation is very helpful. Long story made short, I signed up not only to learn how to meditation, but also to become a meditation instructor. All the tools I will share in the following stories can be applied in a special state of mind. What I refer to as "Going to Alpha" is the foundation on which everything we think, feel and do comes from a "different" place than when functioning from the "ordinary" state of mind.