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I've finally finished the 10th and the final book of the Malazan Book of the Fallen, The Crippled God. Phew! It's been a journey indeed! 10 books worth about 11K+ pages-- I wouldn't dare to delve into such a commitment if it were a couple of years ago. But things and people change. I picked up the series on September 01, 2019 with a buddy read group, and it took about 14 months. Not that I'm counting the time and I also read other books in between. 

Reading the last book was rewarding and quite heart wrenching at the same time as everything came together. There were laughs, closures, goodbyes. I can't really get into the story as it will certainly have major spoilers. Rather let me quote a few lines from the book that might not be confined within the boundaries of the book. 

> "...grieving had nothing to do with the ones gone, and everything to do with the ones left behind. We feel the absences in our life like open wounds."

I'm pretty sure a lot of people will shake their heads. That's fine. It's a cynical view after all--everyone is motivated by purely self-driven reasons. While you may not agree, I think we should consider the options. Think back at your life, the people you miss--do you miss the person or the shared memories? 
Do they play some roles in your life that you want them to play? 
Consider their perspectives too--who come to you in time of need and vanishes when the crisis has been averted.  

Even disregarding the view of a cynic, the dead cannot feel physical pain or torment of the mind. Once they're gone, they're gone. We are the ones who keep the dead ones alive in us, we are the ones burning ourselves all the time. 

> A civilization was the means by which too many people could live together despite their mutual hatred. And those moments where love and community burgeoned forth, the cynics descended like vultures eager to feed, and the skies soured, and the moment died away.

Well, hell, this one does speak about me talking rubbish up there, doesn't it? Haha! 
But in the cynic's defense, are they really at fault? If we admit that they really hate each other to begin with that is. 

> Nostalgia was like a disease, one that crept in and stole the colour from the world and the time you lived in.

I want to dedicate this line to everyone who doesn't want to accept changes. Fearing change is okay. Perhaps it's integrated in our nature and quite hard to expect otherwise. But not choosing to face that fear and subsequently living in the past, feeding of nostalgia is not something I can condone. But nostalgia is not always the thing that fuels this fear. I think  losing control is the dominant one. From serious changes that might alter national, international events to silly ones, fear reigns supreme. 

> “Lost ages are neither more nor less profound than the one we live in right now.”

I'm not sure I concur with this statement. In a general sense, this might be true. But I usually, I find this age quite laid back, lazy and dull and the previous one far richer, profound. True, It had it flaws in social systems, it had lesser science but hey, the arts were better! 
Come to think  of it, on average they might all balance each other out. Anyway, Erikson is supposed to be an expert. I'm only guessing. 

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There's an one liner I've taken to my heart, 

> Against a broken heart, even absurdity falters.

As if the world that conspires against you suddenly stops. Not a peep can be heard. Dead leaves slowly proceed to collide with the earth. The absurd world looks at you with a broken heart from a distance of a few feet, unsure for a moment what to do with you!

 Oh, Erikson! I'll definitely miss reading Malazan!

But not stopping talking about it just yet. I'd like to a write a review of the series as a whole soon.  

Thanks for stopping by. 

The photo is from <a href="https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=22571828191">abebooks</a> as I've read on e-reader. 


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