Chains, a freewrite by owasco

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hive-161155 · @owasco · Oct 18 '23

$11.82

Chains, a freewrite



![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/owasco/23tc1nY6NMUTotPPNqAFpVi7ZGMpsUnhmSwXVUxfsPMaRBqXiQc2wyMsbraMbX7koPGwq.png)

![text16.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcvVqhGMbF1KAHTn9Wh8FiRhmpAbiEuAKerVM7ugDnXfX/text16.png)



It was nearing Halloween, and his daily requests were getting more and more bizarre. 

Tasks such as **kick a puppy** and **annihilate a flame** had been appearing as commands on the refrigerator door in the mornings. 

She managed to find ways to complete the commands without doing much, if any, harm. She kicked a stuffed puppy, and ripped out a fire bush that had been blocking the driveway for years now. The house was coming into clearer focus really. Things were migrating to better places. 

The stuffed and kicked puppy had landed, nicely posed, on her dresser next to the poem-bookmarks her children had made her so very long ago.

"I don't know how to express my feelings" ended one of those poems. Children of seven years know more than adults in any room, don't they? When do we unlearn how to love? 

Yes, things were getting very clear, and the completion of today's assigned task, **stake something through the heart,** became obvious too. He was asking for it. 

She would ask for a divorce today. 

</center>![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/owasco/243WpwU3ZSK16oiApd5TkCh4MLw6cn6U4awbwq8RoAeRgP1XdxJFd7VFJ5BBnaLczbTt4.png)</center>


This is my entry to @mariannewest's daily freewrite [challenge](https://peakd.com/hive-161155/@daily.prompt/18-october-mariannewests-freewrite-writing-prompt-day-2193-stake-through-the-heart). Today's prompt is ***stake through the heart***. I used my self timer - I've written so many five minute freewrites now that I swear I have an internal timer. When it feels like I've been writing for around five minutes, I wrap up my stories, then I go back to proofread without changing *content.* The original story remains, but I correct grammar and typos before I hit publish. I also remove any unnecessary uses of the past perfect verb tense, which irritates me. This proofread stage takes far longer than the freewriting stage. 

I had hoped to write a happy story of love, and was clearly headed that way with the children and their mothers day poems, but those five minutes were coming to an end. My having once stabbed a heart in just this way appeared. Into the story it went. 

Freewriting can be a portal to the self. If you look down your nose at freewriting, try giving it a shot. 






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@carolkean · Oct 19 '23

Always, I'm amazed at how much you pack into so few words.
His commands each day: why would any sane woman comply?
She finds ways to execute each order.
You comment: "all three of his commands could have been requests to harm him in some way" -
Intriguing!
And this biographical gem: "My having once stabbed a heart in just this way appeared. Into the story it went."
Their children write poems and turn them into bookmarks for her.
That small detail really leaps out at me.
Along with the line everyone will gravitate to: children know more about love than we do.
(Sure enough, others have already highlighted it: "Children of seven years know more than adults in any room, don't they? When do we unlearn how to love?")
We readers could speculate and write pages about this story!
Bravo!!!!

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@owasco · Oct 19 '23

$0.02

I love you Carol!!! 

My real life, surreal these days, usually seeps into my freewrites. I imagine most writers use stuff from their experiences, no? 

I have two of those bookmarks on the mirror in my bedroom, one from Niko and one from Lily, both written in first grade. The last line of Lily's is "I don't know how to say all my feelings." Niko talked about how when he was in my belly he didn't know what kind of mom he was going to have, and he was a little scared. His last line is "I know you are a good mom." It's very hard for me to read it, even still! When will that poem make me as happy as it did when he first wrote it?

👍 dustbunny, stimialiti, fersher

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@carolkean · Oct 20 '23

I love your writing, the way your real life slips in between the words like butter adding so much to dry bread, or like the unseen spices that make the difference between a gourmet spaghetti sauce and a sour red tomato paste. Those little vignettes of truth, your truth, your life - maybe these are part of what sets your writing apart, gives it an authenticity (a punch in the gut too!) that so many writers seem to be missing.
Just revisited a book about writing (how many of these can the market support??) - 
["Don Quixote Meets The Mob: The Craft of Fiction & The Art of Life"](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/383183.Don_Quixote_Meets_the_Mob) by Susan Taylor Chehak, a graduate of the University of Iowa writing workshop, a former student of John Irving, a teacher.

#ferocious - that may be the word for what you do so well!

![image.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmaEvdF6iwqkEuwx8HqM3KH1M8ntYAan8EXQ1nYYbTKfV5/image.png)

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5 replies

@honeydue · Oct 18 '23

What a fucking psycho. Don't kick the dog. Even if it's a stuffed one. No guy/gal/love interest is worth it.

> "I don't know how to express my feelings" ended one of those poems. Children of seven years know more than adults in any room, don't they? When do we unlearn how to love?

This. <3

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@owasco · Oct 18 '23

$0.03

I now think of him as a genius who wanted to end his marriage, but wanted his wife to look like the bad guy. He knew she wouldn't kick any puppies. Now that I reread the story, I see all three of his commands could have been requests to harm him in some way, he is a masochist. She finally figured it out. Maybe he'd been saying stuff like that to her for 40 years. 

Thanks for reading and commenting on my story!!!

👍 honeydue

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properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
honeydue	0 B		79,226,397,182	46%

@honeydue · Oct 18 '23

Not being able to speak your true name or nature, not even to those you love best. In that story, I suddenly sympathize with him a lot more. Thank you for another way to look at it :)

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2 replies

@kemmyb · Oct 18 '23

$0.28

>Children of seven years know more than adults in any room, don't they?

They most certainly do! A good way to explore love and change is through the innocent eyes of children. They understand love better than many adults. 

And as for the divorce, I'll agree "he was asking for it" with the bizarre requests. 😄 You weave mystery and emotion very well. !LADY

👍 crossculture, smithlabs

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properties (23)vote details (2)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
smithlabs	0 B		104,110,837,402	89%
crossculture	0 B		510,523,793,065	100%

@ladytoken · Oct 18 '23

LOH 1697642235582

<div class='pull-right'>https://images.ecency.com/DQmbNGgo2ZfyBhJKoqCxyAUQFDPuGtk6Deh7ktYU92B1isW/loh_lady.png<p><sup><a href='https://hive-engine.com/?p=market&t=LOH'>View or trade </a> <code>LOH</code> tokens.</sup></p></div><center><br> <p>@kemmyb, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @owasco and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (2/4 calls)</p> <p>Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in <a href='https://peakd.com/hive-124452/@hive-124452/introducing-the-lady'>this post</a>.</p> </center><div></div>

properties (22)

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@owasco · Oct 18 '23

Thank you! I love your stories too, and your poems! How nice to have you here. Have you been a freewriter for long?

properties (22)

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@kemmyb · Oct 18 '23

$0.23

Thank you. For as long as I've been on hive, that's like two years and counting. 😄

👍 crossculture

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properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
crossculture	0 B		515,742,229,967	100%

1 reply

@tobetada · Oct 18 '23

@tipu curate

properties (22)

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@owasco · Oct 18 '23

Thank you!!!

properties (22)

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@tipu · Oct 18 '23

<a href="https://tipu.online/hive_curator?tobetada" target="_blank">Upvoted  &#128076;</a> (Mana: 47/67) <a href="https://peakd.com/hive/@reward.app/reward-app-quick-guide-updated" target="_blank">Liquid rewards</a>.

properties (22)