No, No, No, No, No by owasco

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

hive-161155 · @owasco · Aug 1 '22

$20.50

No, No, No, No, No

![IMG_20190620_082228406 (3).jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/owasco/23tkpGoM3n3pheXuuxxVXUjgdFsWaQBXRw3GNgiTJzLHbrRjnWUSYVg3ieWAC1juR2ZvA.jpg)








I haven't been able to write anything. To write about it would make it more real. I prefer to sleep to make it less real. In my dreams, he is alive again. Everyone can see him and touch him - I keep asking people to do it. Last night I asked him myself if I could touch him, and he considered it, with a beatific smile, his beatific smile, no one else's, and walked away. How I long for another hug! How I long for another smile. I sleep to see his beauty again, to see his happiness, long gone from this earth, back now in my dreams. 

So the prompt is *skater.* He was a skater first. His own dreams were to become healthy enough again to sk8te again someday. He prayed to his god, Allah, daily for his strength to return. Strength to believe fully, strength to live fully, strength to skate again, his first love. 

No, I was his first love. And I was his last love. His last word was "Mom" which he whispered over and over again while he lay dying in my arms. My last words to him, were, over and over again, *I love you.* I have that to hold onto now. 

</center>![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/owasco/243WpwU3ZSK16oiApd5TkCh4MLw6cn6U4awbwq8RoAeRgP1XdxJFd7VFJ5BBnaLczbTt4.png)</center>





This is my entry to @mariannewest's daily freewrite [challenge](https://peakd.com/hive-161155/@mariannewest/day-1751-5-minute-freewrite-monday-prompt-skater). Today's prompt is ***skater***. 






<center>https://steemitimages.com/DQmY73bhwxZbFPVvGvGshKPCtEzK7fseuHjaxCDEW4fB6Pe/Freewritehouse-footer-500px.png
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<center>image by me</center>

👍 qurator, steembasicincome, alexis555, katharsisdrill, sbi2, tarazkp, dswigle, felt.buzz, spectrumecons, ericvancewalton, futuremind, ewkaw, kaerpediem, freewritehouse, jaynie, ecotrain, trucklife-family, galenkp, captainhive, niallon11, zyx066, ecency, farm-mom, cwow2, steemitbloggers, jerrybanfield, prydefoltz, bananafish, myjob, bennettitalia, carolkean, hatoto, meppij, improv, roleerob, zapfic.club, myegoandmyself, bambuka, scrooger, saboin, smithlabs, manorvillemike, atheistrepublic, eternalsuccess, hlezama, deeanndmathews, shady, itsostylish, tristancarax, soufiani, qberry, print3dpro, jayna, axel-blaze, jlsplatts, ninnu, yadamaniart, eco-alex, monica-ene, marcoriccardi, sustainablyyours, thedailysneak, coloneljethro, dawnoner, and 199 others
👎 xecency

`author`	owasco
`permlink`	no-no-no-no-no
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rufoodingkidding	791,301,903	43%
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maitt87	7,456,572,482	21.5%
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ninnu	20,154,399,158	15%
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eylz619	1,456,248,890	21.5%
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@deeanndmathews · Aug 1 '22

Oh, no ... I am so sorry ... so sorry ... beautifully written, and heartbreaking ... my deepest condolences, and thank you for even trusting us to read that...

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@owasco · Aug 1 '22

I trusted you all with trepidation, I have to admit. Thank you for your condolences.

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@dswigle · Aug 3 '22

The grief is so very real, every time I hear it. There is no getting away from it when it comes back to visit you. You can close your eyes, and turn off your brain, but when you open them, it is still there. 

So very powerful and touches that part of me that feels.

My heart hugs you. ❤️

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@ecency · Aug 1 '22

Your content has been **voted** as a part of [Encouragement program](https://ecency.com/ecency/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! <br><br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for new Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B197%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)

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@ericvancewalton · Aug 3 '22

I am so sorry.

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@felt.buzz · Aug 1 '22

So sad... such powerful writing. My heart goes out to you. 💔

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@owasco · Aug 1 '22

$0.07

Thank you Bruce. I am very sad today!!!

👍 felt.buzz

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@hive-106316 · Aug 31 '22

I am so so saddened to hear about your tragic loss @owasco, only saw this now!
Words cannot make that hurt go away, but know that you are in my thoughts, and that of all on the Silver Bloggers team.
The loss of a child is the very worst thing one could go through!
My thoughts are with you.
A big hug 🤗
Silver-Blond Lizzie 💔

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@owasco · Aug 31 '22

Thank you. He had been very sick for many years, so there has been a good deal of relief in my loss as well. It's still awful though.

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@fionasfavourites · Aug 31 '22

I am so sorry to be late on this news.  Relief is quite understandable but it doesn't take away the grief and loss.  I have no doubt that it's a huge adjustment.  You are much in my thoughts.  And as I said somewhere else:  you were missed and I'm glad you're back.

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@lizelle · Aug 31 '22

A release for him, but the missing will be there forever💔

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@hlezama · Aug 1 '22

🫂 Heartbreaking story, more so when it is real. There is a song by a Mexican singer that says "they say time heals everything, but a hundred years is too little..." 
For some wounds no time is ever enough. This kind of pain is like the tide, though. It comes and goes. Hope you feel better soon. Keep writing. It's food for our souls. We value that gift of yours.

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@owasco · Aug 1 '22

I wish grief were as predictable as the tide. I never know when I will start keening "no no no no no no..."
Thank you for your thoughts and words. They do help.

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@itsostylish · Aug 1 '22

 I had no idea about this tragedy. It’s impossible to lose a child 
Oh, my love.......
❤️🤗💕🤗🤗❤️❤️

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@owasco · Aug 1 '22

It really really really sucks. He was an adult though. He was sick for a very long time.

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@johannfrare · Aug 1 '22

Oh, dear. 

It touched me. 

Time is to valuable and thus post remembered me how lucky I'm.

I'm wishing you the best, every single day. 

Not a good day; the best.

I know that you deserve it.

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@owasco · Aug 1 '22

Thank you so much.

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@katharsisdrill · Oct 14 '22

I am so sorry.

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@owasco · Oct 14 '22

$0.42

Thank you. 

*when presence becomes memory
time warps
more truly*

👍 katharsisdrill

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@myjob · Aug 1 '22

I am so sorry for your loss, I had tears reading this. I watched my mother go through this twice. Children should not go before their parents, especially their mothers. Hugs to you my friend.

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@carolkean · Aug 2 '22

I am soooo sorry, @owasco, for the loss of your beautiful son. To sleep, to dream, is one escape, but you will return to the land of the living because you are still a mother to others, and others need you. @myjob, seeing your mother bury two children implies you've buried two siblings. I'm sorry too for your loss. My mom has buried three of her five daughters. How does she soldier on? (Faith in God and heaven.) Somehow we who are left behind must carry on through the pain and loss. @hlezama is right: writing is food for our souls. Keep writing.... and know that you have friends who care. {{hugs}}

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@owasco · Aug 2 '22

Thank you Carol, for being here with me through all of this. I know you know.

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@owasco · Aug 2 '22

Oh my, twice! My heart. And you! Lost two siblings! Thank you for your condolences and hugs.

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@myjob · Aug 3 '22

You are more than welcome and my heart does go out to you.

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@qurator · Aug 1 '22

Qurator

<center>Manually curated by EwkaW from the @qurator Team. Keep up the good work!</center>

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@riverflows · Aug 22 '22

@owasco This is heartbreaking. I had no idea you were suffering this loss. His absence must be keenly felt. Much love across the miles to you xxx

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@scribblingramma · Aug 30 '22

How did I miss this post before? I found it now through the link you gave in your new camera post. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine the grief you feel. Sending virtual hugs.

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@smithlabs · Aug 2 '22

Next time, a happy one....

I like reading your stuff! 

👍🤠🙏💗😳🤕💙😭

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@trucklife-family · Aug 30 '22

Oh mama, I am so so sorry to read this, there are no words, only that I am sending you so much love xxxx

properties (22)