Impatience with the flow of things - recognized, decamouflaged - diving in by paradigmprospect

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diary · @paradigmprospect · Dec 24 '19 (edited)

$6.29

Impatience with the flow of things - recognized, decamouflaged - diving in

Lately I have been pretty thin-skinned. I figured the fulltime job I took this year in order to save for my travels would be the stressful part but ever since I quit and occupy my time with all the things I want to have finished by the time my girl and I depart with the camper van, man... those things have been the most stressful by far.

I did realize that - objectively speaking - everything was great! I was on my way, had a new awesome woman in my life. I could live without rent with a friend and things were looking up, with us looking forward to our departure.

But at the same time I felt tired. Scared. Impatient.

Trying to build a van-based solar system without any prior knowledge or experience turned out to be a massive undertaking. I knew I wanted to study this for two months straight but lost my hope in between, thinking I would never finish this thing in time. And that would greatly add to my frustrations, seeing the departure date approaching and still not feeling I had a good enough grasp on the subject matter.

It pained me to no end. I felt depressed, unable, uncertain. At times I was close to despair even battering myself thinking I should have long hacked this.

In short I forgot to trust the flow again and tried to force things as best I could, not getting that the whole point of traveling was to completely accept the flow of things, trusting the universe to carry me where it needs me.

And now, that I feel I have found the grasp on the technicals, now that my girl and I decided to not force things and to go with the flow, everything is falling into place. Long unanswered questions about the solar system have been answered out of nowhere. Things are clearing up in time as well, I am down to a few last items to be taken care of and I am ready for departure.

I realize with a smile on my face that everything DID work out in time and that was no need to take this all so seriously or with stress. I realize that trusting the flow of travel has long started even though we still have not left.

And I feel very grateful for this reminder, because I know we're gonna get nowhere with the old stress and forcing-things mode of existence. It's the main reason we want to travel; is to get out of that mode and into a more natural one.

Now things are a lot farther than they were, everything in the van and in our worldly preparations is getting the last touches and details, the street amp is here and awesome, our instruments are stringed and ready.

I wish I would never forget again that I can always trust life to the fullest. Because I tend to forget especially at the times when I would actually most need to remember the greater cosmic wisdom guiding me and getting me exactly to where I need to be.

What a luxury, getting that reminder now before we go.

Thanks universe. Thanks for this tough year and for not letting me down. Sorry I made it sound like you were when I was so close at finding it out... I may relapse but I know you're more patient than I, for the time being ;)

![1.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXbm33ETtv42TZzRR2X38sdvdB9g8ReQSLzVyLvVQjgNU/1.jpg)

<center>*Img srcs:*</center><center>
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<center>Thanks for stopping by <3</center>

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@gniksivart · Dec 24 '19

I find impatience is one of the things that plagues e the most. I forget, most of the time it's the journey and not the end path where all the learning and memories are made.

👍 paradigmprospect

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@paradigmprospect · Dec 31 '19

It's true, I have yet to realize that impatience is part of the experiences that make up this life. It's so hard to get with it sometimes, and when I do manage to get with impatience - to accept it - it usually vanishes. ahaha.

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@luca1777 · Dec 24 '19

Going with the flow is like surfing ;)
Let the right wave find you...

👍 paradigmprospect

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@steemdunk · Dec 25 '19

steemdunk-reply-1577254195027

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@trayan · Dec 24 '19

$0.02

me on the same page!

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/trayan)

👍 dustsweeper, paradigmprospect

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@tts · Dec 24 '19

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👎 steemcleaner

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@vincentnijman · Dec 24 '19

The universe isn't patient, it just is but I know you're just kidding. It sure sounded like you needed this reminder and I'm glad you got the message.

I read the Alchemist ( started yesterday, finished today ) by Paulo Coelho. A little book, full of life lessons, mainly saying that coincidence doesn't exist and there's signs everywhere if we're open to them, that lead us on the most awesome path imaginable. 

Keep going with the flow and listening to your gut feeling :>)

👍 paradigmprospect

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@paradigmprospect · Jan 1 '20

$0.02

oh my vincent hehe. I love the alchemist, been years since I read it and funnily my dad gave it as a gift to me and my girl recently - the book is sitting right next to our bed waiting to be (re)-read. Guess we should start tonight ;)

hope you're doing well <3

👍 vincentnijman

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`total_payout_value`	0.011 HBD
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`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	261
`author_reputation`	127,763,759,660,340
`root_title`	"Impatience with the flow of things - recognized, decamouflaged - diving in"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
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properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
vincentnijman	0 B		131,098,268,519	40%

@vincentnijman · Jan 7 '20

That's a coincidence ( the past me would say )
Hahaha, awesome to hear this.

Have you started re-reading it yet? ;>)

P.S. I'm doing very well :>)

properties (22)