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Memories of an Unhappy Ending by pavanjr

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· @pavanjr · (edited)
$3.57
Memories of an Unhappy Ending


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<center>![Sep.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmXHYyNW1ixvBicNz5EXQdfTMbCg4takXbdejv2vdhdQGA/Sep.png)</center>

The world began to move as if it were one of those crystal balls that, when shaken, simulate a snowfall over the city they enclose. The streets that seemed straight and flat, became ascending and descending like the deck of a ship on a rough night at sea. Cold drops from a shower are not enough to wash down the drain, fatigue accumulated under a waterproof skin that does not allow to refresh the thoughts and clear the face from the sleep accumulated under the eyelids.

When I leaned out of the window, as if waiting for a last goodbye to this incredulous and stormy world, I just watched the sun's rays through the soft white curtains, breathing, taking deep breaths and filling the bowl of my mind, with every drop of absurd thoughts.

The mirror gives me back the worst version of sadness through eyes reddened by crying without tears. A pitying look runs through every vestige of tiredness trying to remember the background that caused it. Perhaps it was the sleepless nights that caused such misfortune, perhaps it was my slow steps that failed to balance it. 

<center>![Sep.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmXHYyNW1ixvBicNz5EXQdfTMbCg4takXbdejv2vdhdQGA/Sep.png)</center>

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<center>![EEEEEEDD3.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/pavanjr/23uQnHqXimZaPvLizJxHE1NMcCgQLZfr3Qu3E6Yx73vtukZgvWpuzG5CK1KkoD3CVNEhS.png)</center>

<center>![Sep.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmXHYyNW1ixvBicNz5EXQdfTMbCg4takXbdejv2vdhdQGA/Sep.png)</center>

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Every step I took was a different question, and from my mouth came a "enough" as tears ran down my cheeks, chasing away the white hopes that ran through my body. I was trembling with rage, as if blaming myself for having given so much from every corner of my heart, without asking for anything but respect, love, friendship, companionship or those cheesy things we don't let go, because we need it.

The coffee gets cold and is forgotten on the table next to a novel by Julio Cortázar that I had bought about 6 years ago in that old bookstore. Next to the book, there was also a bottle of aspirin missing a dose, or two. The television was on with no voice and the kitchen blinds were down.

The cold weather that had been raging since last year turned into the warmest day of April in a second. The heat took over my body as if I had taken three shots of rum. My nervous hands searched for a place in the air to hide, my legs wavered and threatened to fall off. My forehead filled with sweat as in my most feverish days and my heart redoubled its beating at the sensation of suffocation that flooded my lungs.

As my body gave the alarm light, my mind was collapsing from the collision of ideas, thoughts and unfinished sentences that could not be uttered.  thought of books, movies and analogous experiences I had been told about, I thought of dreams, delusions, emptiness.

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<center>![Sep.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmXHYyNW1ixvBicNz5EXQdfTMbCg4takXbdejv2vdhdQGA/Sep.png)</center>

<center>![EEEEEEDDjj.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/pavanjr/23u5tMNTtidDGG99Wvr3ApGTd4tfpcZYu6DVt96YPmSZpTcwBv2TKNueRvzaFNCEvAvyi.png)</center>

<center>![Sep.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmXHYyNW1ixvBicNz5EXQdfTMbCg4takXbdejv2vdhdQGA/Sep.png)</center>


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How many times I would have wished to find myself in this situation, how much I would have waited for the elements to randomly arrange themselves to offer me the possibility that presented itself to me, how many dialogues I would have built with my imagination around moments like this, polishing the words with a cabinetmaker's hand to obtain in all cases a happy ending. 

I wished I could spit out all the fears and failures that were flashing in front of my eyes, turn my head and say the magic word that opens hearts and chains souls, but I realized that I had no saliva left.

I closed my eyes looking for the concentration that would allow me to calm down, to regain control of my limbs, I summoned up the necessary courage and threw myself into it. I opened them again and taking the air that I would expire turned into words, I looked around in bewilderment. She was no longer there, she was gone, and I remembered that I would never see her again.


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vote details (130)
@holisticmom ·
It is so hard when we lose the ones we love. Sending you healing energy. 
 
This is such a beautiful and heartfelt post.

Sending you a huge hug mi amigo. 🤗✨💚
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@pavanjr ·
Oh, hola Nat ♥

Yes it is, but everything is transitory, everything passes, it is a story of the past and I am happy to share it here. Thank you for your words, you are a sweetheart. 

Hugs and good energy to you. Amiga bella.
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@riverflows ·
Wow - this is fabulous! You are a talented writer! I love the details in this - really beautiful. You really have a way with words!!! I'm sorry it took so long to get to it - so busy - I'm glad I did though as it was truly lovely. 
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@pavanjr · (edited)
It took me a while to write it because I couldn't find the words in my head to make it look good haha. Thank you for your nice words, you are a sweetheart River. ♥
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@sirenahippie ·
Esta historia es muy sincera y muy desgarradora a la vez. Hay muchas cosas tristes en esta vida, pero el desamor es una de las más dolorosas que existen. Lo único que te puedo decir desde mi experiencia es que: Todo pasa, y cuando a uno lo van a querer, lo quieren como si te lanzaras de un avión sin paracaídas, con la total convicción de que volarás antes de tocar tierra, sin importar más nada. Supongo que la novela de Cortázar que leías era "Rayuela". Una lectura muy indicada para un final nada feliz. Un abrazo.
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@pavanjr ·
Hola Sirena, tiempo sin leerte, perdon por no visitar tu perfil para leerte, lo necesito!... Gracias por tus palabras, te digo algo, esto lo escribí desde una perspectiva triste, pero está superado hahaha, no pasa nada, solo que cuando estas recordando cosas como esas, dan ganas de expresarlo o contarlo y no tuve con quien hablar sobre eso. Entonces solo me toca escribirlo y compartirlo, al menos como una historia. 

Un abrazo fuerte desde la distancia, gracias por leerme. 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@sirenahippie ·
Pues me contenta que ya eso sea clavo pasado, jajajaja, es lo más sano y mejor, y escribir sobre estas experiencias puede resultar ser una buena catarsis. Saludos y abrazos.
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@thisismylife ·
Sorry for your loss! 
I wanted to stop by and say that your post touched me, it's written beautifully! 
Take care...
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@pavanjr ·
$0.02
Thanks for your words, it's a story from the past, so it's okay. Best regards! :D
👍  ,
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vote details (2)