## A Truth Inside a Lie
So to give you some context, I will explan what kind of truth I am talking about.
For me to live truly is to seek the truth as much as we are able to with our current strength and clarity. To live a lie is to know that things are not real, yet to pursue them anyway as if they were real.
There is a clear distinction between living truly and living falsely. It doesn't have to do with anyone else or anyone elses opinions or expectations. It has nothing to do with your external life or your circumstances. The only distinction between living truly and falsely is whether or not you are fully honest with your self. Living truly means following the feedback that your heart gives you. The heart functions as a quantum computer which sends you data via your feeling sense or 'subtle body'.
So you can say we have an inbuilt truth meter, and it makes us feel a certain way so that we can navigate effectively.
Truth gives you a good feedback, it is life affirming. It makes you more alive and it makes you feel open. Some things feel like the truth, and we believe them totally because perhaps for a moment they are true. It's only later that we come to regard them as false. So it wasn't totally true, it wasn't true in an everlasting way. Some things are temporarily true until we know better.
### Delicious tempura fried pumpkin and tofu pieces ^
#### So what do I mean by a truth inside a lie?
We are on a journey from ignorance into knowing and truth, while on the journey we have to make approximations until we can expand out into a wider spaces that literally sees more clearly.
In our youth (figurative or literal) we have a lot of conviction for our actions, and we believe them to be fully the best choice we can make. We believe in ourselves, and we pursue sometimes crazy things, and go to crazy lengths. Yet in the course of a year, or 5 years, or 10 years we look back and we chuckle, or maybe we cringe. And we say "I can't believe I did that" or "I can't believe I thought that".
Yet somehow that way of living got you to this place, you had to live a lie in order to find your truth. And in a relative way you are living another lie in order to find another truth. Something about the distaste we develop for untruth propels us forward to find something that aligns with us better. In this way we can say suffering is a blessing. Widely misunderstood, it is simply the mechanism to tell us that we are not properly aligned in some way. When we suffer we know for sure that something is not right, so we pursue some kind of resolution.
The means by which we seek to remove suffering vary, but the motivation is the same - it is a divine motivation. The desire to be out of suffering and into freedom and bliss.
So in this way you can see that an alcoholic has a pure motive for drinking themselves into a stupor, they want to feel good! They want to be done with this suffering! In a way it is almost more honest than some other more elaborate avoidance mechanisms.
Sometimes when I stop to interact with people of the local homeless community, I can see in them a great beauty - in their honesty. They may be inhabiting a kind of 'survival' energy and perpetually using intoxicants, but there is a kind of statement in that life.
The homeless person says this with their living - "Hello everyone, here I am, I suffer, I am human, this is the society we live in, I refuse to partake any more", it is almost a way of saying "I give up on my life, I give it over to god" which is a powerfully true action.
All of our compulsive behaviors are developed through this urge to be free. And we will continue to live compulsively right up to the point that we ackowledge our great suffering and start taking the rational steps to living in the truth.
So there's a lot of dark alleys you can get lost in, but none of them are 'wrong'. We can say that they might be a bit muddled and misguided, especially if we have learned from experience that they don't enhance and expand our conscious expression. For example if I know that drinking coffee makes me edgy and disrupts my meditation, but I still keep drinking it, well I'm living a bit of a lie then aren't I.
I'm doing the thing that takes me away from what I want, and what is most aligned for me. I feel as if it's what I want though, because it gives me a temporary buzz, and also it's a deeply ingrained habit. So I have a strong emotional pull to doing this thing. Interestingly as much as I have an emotional pull to doing this thing, I also feel 'conflicted' or uneasy about my decision to do it. So my body is kind of telling me two things, both a truth and a lie at the same time.
It seems to be to do with time frame and the constancy of an expanded feeling that gives a better indication. For example I could smoke a massive amount of cannabis with some friends, and we will feel really good for a while, but we won't be able to function properly while we are high and probably afterwards for a time too. So it's a kind of conditional expansion that makes me question - how true is this? If it makes you feel rough afterwards and depletes your body then how true is it?
How true is slowly killing ourselves through various accepted means? To me it seems like inhabiting a nihilistic mode of consciousness that believes in its own demise, and is trying to extract a pleasure from the body by trading that limited life force away. This is called being usury. We use our bodies to pursue a certain feeling, and it's no surprise really given the societies we live in. Being used and using others is promoted as really the only way to be. That's another story entirely though.
We can take things to another level by seeing how small incidents and symbols can act as fractals for entire lifestyles and ways of being. I learned this when I went through a depressive state, at that time it seemed I couldn't do anything good for myself.
Little tidbits were there though, so while I may have been playing poker or a drinking game - that same material form of a card would somehow fascinate me, on a subconscious level eventually rising to the conscious. In time I would go to a tarot reader who would give me deep honesty and knowledge, opening the way for real expansion. That same thin thread persisted through the lie, and it took me through to a truth.
I feel that anything and everything can be that same reminder of our true life and our eventual expansion, my perception has come to a place that this seems to be much closer to the truth. The reality is set up this way to always give us a clue - even if we get lost in a lie. Miraculous transformation is possible, it only requires us to see and to feel the 'underlying message' of our lives.
So keep your eyes open, and keep your heart open, Let's let life guide us further into the truth of our own existence.
Much Love and Blessings
PhillyC (I still need to craft some kind of banner)
hiveblocks