<h3><a href="#" rel="noopener">Part 1</a></h3>
<p><em>Huh?</em></p>
<p>http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user5/imageroot/yellen%20confused_34.jpg</p>
<p>I'd<em> finally </em>arrived to Washington - from<em> Judea</em>, on the camel <em>Nebuchadnezzar</em> had sent me off on.</p>
<p>I parked my Camel at <em>Dulles International Airport</em> and was accosted by <em>black-suited </em>sunglasses-sporting thugs. </p>
<p><em>&quot;Are you @positive?&quot;</em> one grunted, with one hand sliding into his jacket's inner pocket.</p>
<p><em>&quot;Uh-sure&quot;</em> I shrugged.</p>
<p>Thing 2's forehead <em>furrowed </em>at my <em>nonchalance.</em></p>
<p><em>&quot;Who sent you?&quot;</em> he queried.</p>
<p><em>&quot;King Nebuchadnezzar of Ju-&quot; </em></p>
<p>I was <em>swiftly</em> picked up, head covered with a moist sandbag, and tossed inside the 4X4 they had come out of.</p>
<p><em>'What's that smell?'</em> I wondered - head in moist sandbag - It makes me feel <em>drowwwsssyyyy...</em></p>
<h3>I woke up in a secret office at the  FED with Janet Yellen.</h3>
<p><em>&quot;Hello, young man&quot;</em> Janet greeted.</p>
<p><em>&quot;What'up!&quot;</em> I exclaimed.</p>
<p><em>&quot;Oh, the youngsters of today. No manners&quot;</em> she lamented.</p>
<p><em>&quot;Anyways, I believe we have more pressing concerns. Do you know why you're here?&quot;</em> </p>
<p><em>&quot;To bring down crypto with the force of Trolling?</em>&quot; I asked.</p>
<p><em>&quot;</em><em>Precisely</em><em>. These </em><em>state-hating</em><em> maniacs are </em><em>armed to their teeth</em><em>. Otherwise </em><em>I'd have called Bernanke</em><em> to bag 'n tag 'em! The most </em><em>efficient</em><em> approach, we, the FED, believe, is to </em><em>infect their community with FUD</em><em>.&quot;</em></p>
<p>I <em>considered</em> her response, and giggled at the thought<em> FED-FUD</em> (<em>hihi!</em>).</p>
<p><em>&quot;Alright. But there are some things I need.&quot;</em> I said, firmly.</p>
<p><em>&quot;Let me get my pad and pen&quot;</em> Janet obliged.</p>
<p><em>&quot;I need a </em><em>4K enabled laptop</em><em> with </em><em>Ubuntu 16.04 pre-installed</em><em> - I resent VMs and I </em><em>hate fiddling about with ISOs</em>&quot; I listed.</p>
<p><em>&quot;Ubuntu...4K...no Oracle VM...no Dual Boot...Got it! Anything else?&quot;</em></p>
<p><em>&quot;I need an </em><em>ergonomic keyboard</em><em> - 24/7 keyboard trolling imposes such a burden on the fingers!</em></p>
<p><em>And an </em><em>SSD drive to store all my gifs</em><em>.&quot;</em></p>
<p><em>&quot;Ergonomic...no HDD...gifs. Right, got it! I imagine that'll be all&quot;</em> she wondered.</p>
<p><em>&quot;Yeah, that's cool.&quot;</em></p>
<p><em>&quot;The men who picked you up at the airport - </em><em>James and John</em><em> - will be your formal escorts. They'll take you out to lunch, accompany you to the cinema...Hell! They'll even make you a </em><em>Banana Sundae</em><em>! But more importantly, they'll </em><em>monitor your trolling</em><em> and report back to the FED Headquarters. Is everything clear?&quot;</em></p>
<p><em>James and John?</em> I imagine these are pseudonyms. </p>
<blockquote>I'd thought Thing 2 to be a George, or perhaps a Harold.</blockquote>
<p><em>&quot;Yeah, everything's clear.&quot;</em> I confirmed.</p>
<p><em>&quot;You start tomorrow at 7AM, work your way up from Reddit to Bitcointalk. And then, and only then, to Steemit.&quot;</em></p>
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