A day of void and emptiness - A page of my "Depressive Diary" by priyanarc

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hive-165469 · @priyanarc · 2024-03-03T00:48:54+00:00

$42.16

A day of void and emptiness - A page of my "Depressive Diary"

Suddenly, today I realized that my life has become boring and meaningless. Meaningless is a big word with a significant meaning but truth is truth. I find this time of my life boring because every day is almost similar, tons of appointments, treatment processes, follow-up further treatment updates, refugee life issues, and complaints go on. It's like this time never gonna end. I recently started thinking about how meaningless my life is. Life without aims or goals is actually meaningless. There is nothing I can't think of making my life worthy or meaningful.

This strange thought process has been continuing for many months. Although I am attending all the therapies and taking prescribed medications for my psychological issues, I still have a long way to go. A few days ago, I managed enough courage to talk and share about my treatment process with one of my friends. In my mind, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to share a little bit of my life with my old friend but it was a mistake. I forgot that no matter how much my life changed, I shouldn't expect that others would understand the situation of my life. My friend cannot even imagine how my life could be; all she understands is that I am staying in Europe, seeing many places so what's with the psychological problem? There is nothing called a psychiatric issue, she doesn't even understand the word called psychology. After talking to her, it made me wonder about our friendship. I actually questioned myself about our friendship.

The entire conversation actually made me upset. I was not upset with her, I was upset about our conversation. I think the difficulties of my life taught me the reality of life, I saw and experienced a lot of circumstances and those made me who I am. I guess currently my perspective on life is completely different than others especially when I compare myself with my country's people. I am not limited, I am mature enough to understand other people's sadness or words.

![20240212_145158.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/priyanarc/243zZHY6Uoc4gV6GtdhMm2FTPSZyuBVCXHqZS5pt9cSAf5vVvaig8o1mmog8N1nRVBwPM.jpg)

![20240212_145120.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/priyanarc/245mrzEk8peHt5hTTVc3PgNc7JahVt7pciqvVtoaNBpyr8EVpuzUEzVeusi5bG4WWUDUn.jpg)

My physiotherapy started yesterday, the clinic is not far from my living place; it takes only 10 minutes by bus and the location is nice. From the bus station, I have to walk around 8-10 minutes to reach the clinic. I actually walk slowly when I go to the clinic because the area's surroundings are so nice. Even during a gloomy rainy day, I bet the area still looks pretty.

Sometimes I find it quite difficult to have a good day, stress covers me tightly, and grabs my body so that I can't be free. These kinds of days, feelings are strange, so intense that sometimes I lose my thinking capability. Treatment helps a lot, when I talk to my therapist, I feel relieved. I feel lonely always because I don't have friends here with whom I can meet in person sometimes or talk using my own language. You also miss your childhood friends or college friends with whom you grew up and suddenly lose connection. My therapist says it's emptiness; a giant void created in me, unfortunately.

Feeling empty and void has some benefits though; you don't feel anything. When I feel empty, I feel nothing, to be honest. No sadness, no stress, no thoughts, nothing. It's a sign of depression my doctor told me but I thought it was a healing process. When I attend the appointment with the trauma couch, I always learn something. She helps me to focus on myself, to heal, and to see this world in a different way.

Anyway, today is another day. I guess I am just writing a diary on blockchain. It's been a while since I wrote this kind of post, this post doesn't have any significant meaning. I am fighting with myself, every day to get better...

<hr>

## Love

### Priyan...

<hr>

> I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thoughts easily...

<hr>

### Find me on:

- [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6htnj_ra804BB8QqZw4qpg?view_as=subscriber)
- [Dtube](https://d.tube/#!/c/priyanarc)
- [Twitter](https://twitter.com/een_pri)
- [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/priyan_fareen/)

---

**All images used are captured by the author...**

👍 rocky1, qurator, newhope, steemcleaners, spaminator, cur8, delishtreats, upmewhale, hallmann, spectrumecons, erikah, ukulima, ewkaw, roelandp, arcange, slobberchops, ambicrypto, yanes94, papilloncharity, jim888, emrebeyler, shanibeer, trincowski, ecency, captainhive, dcityrewards, ph1102, sbi6, thekittygirl, themonetaryfew, zirochka, c0ff33a, theterminal, dandays, captainbob, justbekindtoday, hive-ja, netaterra, asia-pl, bluemoon, norwaylife, txatxy, itchyfeetdonica, cristanza42, whatsup, ganjafarmer, visualshots, jerrybanfield, cyrusemerson, fundacja, corvidae, ecotrain, akukamaruzzaman, myegoandmyself, pedrobrito2004, deathwing, vindiesel1980, exyle, phortun, iamjadeline, reggaejahm, thedolphincocoon, hatoto, tibfox, and 533 others

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`permlink`	a-day-of-void-and-emptiness-a-page-of-my-depressive-diary
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`created`	2024-03-03 00:48:54
`last_update`	2024-03-03 00:48:54
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`root_title`	"A day of void and emptiness - A page of my "Depressive Diary""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
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properties (23)vote details (597)

voter	rshares	pct
gerber	23,595,796,954	12%
good-karma	10,875,207,776	1%
roelandp	1,049,783,673,755	100%
daan	49,250,198,720	8%
ezzy	1,970,441,194	12%
jeffjagoe	2,584,765,699	0.5%
arcange	1,046,617,665,208	5%
exyle	115,859,472,758	12%
sokoloffa	1,735,879,787	21.5%
joythewanderer	517,502,032	50%
anarcist69	12,369,775,712	12.5%
treaphort	1,031,553,400	21.5%
rmach	570,213,169	4.3%
elamental	1,165,923,067	16.5%
netaterra	248,250,982,648	15%
someguy123	96,281,402,081	12%
shadowspub	5,057,150,491	2.15%
themonetaryfew	458,150,621,904	100%
jlufer	16,017,475,998	100%
phusionphil	9,725,913,168	95%
appalachain	4,671,429,170	12.5%
sergiomendes	508,491,947	1%
whatsup	162,706,474,600	50%
funnyman	3,903,891,559	15%
steemcleaners	2,309,321,761,311	80%
greencross	4,132,979,652	55%
discovereurovelo	43,972,692,921	21.5%
shady	53,897,349,490	21.5%
oleg326756	3,409,577,610	8.6%
ultraseven	38,188,003,213	100%
edb	21,770,060,819	25%
esteemapp	2,716,309,151	1%
walterjay	33,686,951,402	2.47%
valth	6,505,113,143	21.5%
newhope	4,597,241,619,211	33%
steemitboard	17,874,750,261	5%
sudutpandang	168,314,000	100%
ambyr00	696,747,727	6.45%
ganjafarmer	157,098,704,748	50%
coincentrado	617,619,423	21.5%
itinerantph	691,560,435	21.5%
c0ff33a	401,870,569,075	10%
lizanomadsoul	7,744,107,995	3%
slayerkm	1,545,262,852	27.5%
jhelbich	25,182,264,887	5%
batman0916	3,597,666,884	18.75%
amberyooper	5,087,615,440	20%
scrooger	22,710,334,477	32.25%
dbzfan4awhile	587,751,752	21.5%
stackin	703,959,849	10%
jerrybanfield	148,640,099,306	43%
rt395	3,221,522,720	2.5%
maxdevalue	5,792,563,039	43%
sustainablyyours	12,385,226,382	21.5%
cryptoknight12	1,992,062,955	7.31%
deadgrlsuppastar	7,905,676,233	21.5%
coquiunlimited	2,446,197,071	18.06%
djynn	39,774,388,066	100%
artsygoddess	656,311,038	4%
alphacore	1,227,128,114	1.29%
blacklux	759,684,061	17.2%
chrispy99	7,659,628,758	16.5%
hotsauceislethal	608,070,496	8%
ewkaw	1,086,760,751,835	40%
pearica	6,955,169,850	43%
spectrumecons	1,417,581,709,569	20%
jayna	31,218,859,087	4.3%
guchtere	2,881,539,069	21.5%
joeyarnoldvn	1,594,884,178	4.66%
papilloncharity	859,973,020,478	33%
pipiczech	18,645,243,449	43%
derekrichardson	2,094,430,863	3.75%
eturnerx	21,391,243,128	2%
nolasco	930,853,107	4.3%
felt.buzz	18,975,991,748	2.47%
bluemoon	194,031,197,676	30%
amblog	10,853,695,414	15%
hairyfairy	2,008,944,957	2.5%
owner99	7,129,310,657	100%
yanes94	870,926,002,377	100%
bambukah	29,475,421,488	32%
taintedblood	1,204,366,326	12.5%
zonguin	488,458,202	2.47%
francosteemvotes	697,651,502	4.95%
powpow420	691,480,980	25%
onethousandwords	690,466,583	21.5%
leotrap	612,585,641	2.75%
jeanlucsr	675,796,164	1.2%
horpey	45,590,345,452	70%
shanibeer	647,612,627,339	32.5%
txatxy	179,922,124,991	50%
steemitbd	17,386,152,751	50%
theleapingkoala	1,608,753,330	10.75%
fionasfavourites	44,323,881,825	25%
zyx066	23,807,289,546	12.9%
garudi	3,358,044,310	43%
felander	62,553,117,613	12%
zirochka	408,279,105,172	50%
spaminator	2,086,342,529,721	100%
rocky1	23,469,907,713,759	25%
kimzwarch	17,257,121,477	4%
saltiberra	7,342,393,841	50%
shawkr13	761,040,546	43%
aidefr	853,402,825	3.96%
cconn	3,232,844,938	25%
yogacoach	2,672,242,639	12%
tomiscurious	11,232,161,299	2%
sorin.cristescu	14,119,331,264	2.47%
tomwafula	817,202,500	25%
amphlux	958,576,154	12.5%
votehero	21,294,872,087	4.5%
deathwing	119,602,048,676	12%
ace69	2,865,333,595	50%
maneki-neko	723,384,717	7%
msp-makeaminnow	21,943,185,020	25.8%
ghazanfar.ali	22,054,771,449	100%
jlsplatts	23,310,510,497	2%
ecotrain	138,804,329,513	43%
buttcoins	23,147,811,577	11%
qurator	5,833,543,537,389	43%
esteem.app	329,999,770	1%
vegoutt-travel	21,601,405,101	20%
marcoriccardi	2,140,134,935	10.75%
dandays	320,023,754,301	21.07%
silentsoularts	3,707,011,133	43%
madushanka	47,641,363,346	100%
arabisouri	14,058,151,252	21.5%
dejan.vuckovic	3,175,578,867	4.3%
thekittygirl	493,585,521,123	100%
che-shyr	2,389,663,687	100%
eonwarped	60,110,931,169	8%
bluntsmasha	2,680,978,198	21.25%
emrebeyler	799,273,408,951	10.8%
bluefinstudios	12,579,295,817	5%
dizzyjay	566,908,326	28.81%
paulmoon410	2,424,501,087	10%
etherpunk	1,840,008,738	25%
chekohler	4,260,993,258	4.3%
evecab	950,786,634	27.5%
mytechtrail	17,160,825,497	15%
skycae	3,999,189,226	30.1%
b00m	7,994,350,628	25%
itchyfeetdonica	177,265,988,653	20%
fixedbydoc	3,064,537,019	5%
nathen007	30,516,087,461	100%
rezoanulvibes	11,389,566,800	100%
robotics101	1,477,119,920	4.95%
lpv	720,036,725	2.22%
lostinhappiness	4,702,124,352	25%
sneakyninja	2,514,686,279	3.65%
aitommylr	17,783,233,730	30%
ahmadmangazap	1,986,403,174	0.5%
thedolphincocoon	104,461,500,895	80%
wiseagent	9,415,091,170	10%
onestrong	995,620,358	10%
jim888	859,567,492,181	22%
phortun	112,319,160,264	25%
ronpurteetv	1,184,513,631	27.5%
zpzn	2,687,447,101	21.5%
sagescrub	585,961,593	10.75%
carn	25,439,299,727	34.4%
iamjadeline	111,652,756,669	100%
metzli	9,301,807,725	5.37%
joshbillings	5,603,786,961	27.5%
upmewhale	1,533,775,334,945	100%
artakush	767,072,695	27.5%
yusmi	14,724,934,200	75%
hallmann	1,478,826,644,531	100%
adventuroussoul	2,177,829,888	10%
tryskele	5,456,309,876	20%
happycrazycon	8,877,462,519	10.75%
rooo	1,181,863,733	21.5%
leslierevales	2,160,968,941	16.5%
manncpt	5,424,406,398	3%
patriamreminisci	17,758,007,881	100%
wisewoof	1,116,003,462	15.05%
jnmarteau	1,250,550,466	3%
fundacja	141,467,145,558	100%
myndnow	1,145,854,999	10%
gribouille	1,000,787,843	21.5%
trincowski	620,339,704,262	100%
leoumesh	635,902,802	21.5%
organicgardener	936,784,159	37.5%
intrepidsurfer	1,518,412,110	100%
unconditionalove	1,576,063,100	6%
khimgoh	44,487,614,816	21.5%
mastergerund	2,672,288,563	7.31%
himalayanwomb	39,529,642,576	100%
chalacuna	1,124,091,170	21.5%
minerspost	535,768,016	12.5%
captainbob	307,003,221,563	60%
moeenali	79,146,052,208	5%
darkpylon	1,037,713,954	25%
onlavu	29,933,905,676	25%
phoneinf	2,079,462,228	100%
alimamasstory	515,032,869	10.75%
dtubedaily	23,993,670,482	55%
crowbarmama	1,204,732,648	5.5%
art.life	749,736,378	3.85%
russellstockley	35,886,028,663	30%
putu300	1,191,810,497	15%
jagoe	40,914,214,328	24%
amigoponc	4,479,110,785	100%
gabbyg86	21,762,681,620	35%
akukamaruzzaman	131,356,121,159	100%
tonytrillions	2,210,295,623	60%
theadamprost	25,623,824,321	57%
simplymike	93,447,077,941	75%
erikah	1,256,829,709,058	50%
foxyspirit	2,810,981,869	12.9%
madpotters	1,331,889,145	30%
scottshots	13,051,624,351	5%
jeffmcmullen	2,465,578,885	22%
ultrablackhole	1,050,712,726	100%
sapphic	3,202,940,663	12.5%
bestboom	1,725,426,840	12%
d00k13	16,407,092,191	100%
nikema	1,485,978,534	50%
qberry	31,161,866,097	21.5%
sima369	667,899,842	21.5%
tibfox	101,128,188,393	100%
greddyforce	28,009,183,929	12.9%
gtelefon	2,192,715,888	20%
mrchef111	6,009,101,092	13.75%
racibo	687,715,643	1.07%
flyerchen	48,650,626,262	100%
wolfhart	7,288,811,541	18%
prettynicevideo	25,072,131,700	15%
mumma-monza	1,210,021,205	10.75%
illuminationst8	6,986,388,523	27.5%
silwanyx	2,728,885,966	21.5%
memepress	1,598,843,497	47.5%
doana	524,983,591	100%
cyemela	60,206,622,739	100%
imcore	863,310,811	10%
reinmar	888,317,527	100%
achimmertens	16,290,869,230	2.5%
kgakakillerg	38,377,707,295	20%
steemexperience	7,047,985,813	5%
littleboys-faiz	5,617,573,696	50%
davidcentenor	2,913,746,735	27.5%
joeytechtalks	839,878,710	27.5%
camuel	15,695,980,747	50%
saboin	54,643,756,562	8.6%
occpresents	724,338,901	21.5%
scolari-ire	22,857,967,890	60%
veteranforcrypto	2,722,336,447	12.5%
studio666	2,967,293,371	100%
slobberchops	1,009,314,111,818	28%
hatoto	101,483,637,997	17.2%
delishtreats	1,556,694,594,797	50%
brettblue	1,696,826,997	100%
ntowl	2,447,064,693	21.5%
kbr	1,255,530,910	12.5%
crypticat	2,865,849,332	1.2%
rachelleignacio	642,586,378	21.5%
qberryfarms	473,524,942	10.75%
spamfarmer	4,528,326,166	50%
truthabides	2,554,680,897	12.5%
frejafri	1,655,372,493	4.3%
dtalk	503,678,509	55%
konradxxx3	1,397,624,882	12.5%
digital.mine	65,470,943,733	70%
greenunion	732,617,513	50%
bjornb	737,064,988	21.5%
mafufuma	1,117,466,570	1%
aulia1993	493,006,260	8.6%
longer	3,795,024,559	10.75%
sbi6	510,401,671,565	95.29%
frugal-fun	3,676,801,325	100%
steemian258	2,775,732,997	21.5%
hemo	733,145,249	21.5%
roozeec	501,424,908	10%
pignys	37,987,649,088	100%
ambiguity	2,795,536,850	6.25%
thedailysneak	3,428,607,252	3.65%
lifeskills-tv	2,815,345,954	21.5%
buzzer11	1,802,123,387	30.25%
yestermorrow	12,273,359,214	31%
marivic10	1,468,790,961	2.5%
teamvn	7,845,875,368	6.63%
withered-freddy	2,695,647,311	100%
cyrusemerson	145,242,061,376	100%
bezkresu	1,471,322,501	100%
dlike	32,942,301,890	12%
cubapl	1,547,103,000	12.5%
minimining	617,218,662	21.5%
steemitmamas	11,758,306,260	21.5%
voxmortis	37,680,337,487	20%
teamoregon	555,834,221	50%
ddaily	62,126,684,360	55%
zayedsakib	42,521,723,045	30%
bengiles	44,360,060,122	6.25%
selingokova	2,629,622,820	100%
bobby.madagascar	854,209,094	6%
voter001	21,604,504,546	20.8%
voter003	11,549,089,936	4.5%
voter000	11,881,475,851	25.9%
babysavage	1,183,695,229	7.31%
ravensavage	636,920,309	7.31%
canna-curate	83,805,242,739	25%
thesassysergio	572,908,038	50%
darkprince66	608,825,257	100%
canna-collective	1,546,102,401	5%
courtneyjensen	1,084,659,248	100%
athunderstruck	5,214,167,388	12.5%
freedomtribe	7,260,032,146	10%
krolestwo	28,580,239,021	100%
merlin7	8,559,007,748	4.32%
kind.network	1,843,009,193	50%
besheda	683,958,525	50%
anasimziana	1,719,735,070	21.5%
danieli98	577,838,890	21.5%
inpursuit	2,540,096,697	16.62%
certain	44,126,832,654	20%
xcountytravelers	1,042,411,921	25%
ladyangelwolf	1,472,606,115	100%
cakemonster	3,008,572,194	6%
cowpatty	495,017,357	12.5%
ketcom	12,938,493,691	100%
bia.birch	3,036,755,638	21.5%
shainemata	17,504,705,967	5%
drisers	591,244,002	20%
priyandaily	6,111,276,641	40%
jacuzzi	1,724,001,234	3.75%
sounddam	888,899,425	21.5%
blind-spot	30,551,209,703	50%
regrusoft	5,017,636,270	25%
determine	709,719,932	12%
noekie	493,814,186	37.5%
whiterosecoffee	10,478,303,734	5%
dtube.forum	5,222,659,291	55%
bambuka	5,210,797,633	21.5%
battlemaster	45,551,905,299	37.5%
broxi	2,524,781,517	12.5%
naturalkiller	537,309,130	37.5%
photoparadise	4,743,220,771	21.5%
monsterdoom	955,347,186	37.5%
bluemaskman	2,984,419,854	12.5%
pursuant	2,506,051,558	16.4%
thelogicaldude	9,079,451,674	12.5%
vaporrhino	1,014,588,310	50%
adamthedude	637,423,379	12.5%
pedrobrito2004	122,391,002,462	100%
cryptofiloz	33,290,926,409	20%
dawnoner	78,624,665,186	21.5%
brasan	472,640,744	21.5%
chunkysoupsvc	7,316,162,981	100%
steemadventures	471,494,453	80%
oneloveipfs	14,876,634,765	100%
bonfirepit	471,623,495	100%
engrsayful	9,688,513,457	100%
photographercr	5,186,705,101	8.6%
go-kyo	97,791,128,991	100%
steelborne	2,788,319,297	20%
shopping-dream	49,972,256,692	43%
raspibot	1,750,821,311	100%
seadbeady	12,210,587,491	21.5%
jishan5	652,005,490	21.5%
nooblogger	1,145,518,969	10.75%
steemvpn	24,587,859,745	95%
tinyhousecryptos	481,980,851	5%
leighscotford	1,480,922,437	2.15%
ph1102	520,075,405,995	20%
zeruxanime	39,952,477,062	100%
weedcash	1,476,420,247	8.25%
k64	1,368,640,295	27.5%
cryptogambit	1,442,969,987	7.5%
paltraseven	615,004,692	100%
kgswallet	1,076,330,600	20%
triplea.bot	2,634,643,718	12%
steem.leo	3,136,171,012	12%
reggaesteem	5,813,083,381	55.25%
potporn	471,492,540	100%
freedomring	1,170,647,143	25%
hyborian-strain	2,435,944,017	30%
valerianis	591,575,761	10%
the.lazy.panda	655,693,550	10%
sbi-tokens	6,416,779,313	7.31%
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vipservice	6,015,874,564	8%
isaria-neo	913,791,293	50%
dappstats	4,609,867,104	15%
chris-uk	17,847,664,898	40%
axel-blaze	20,738,085,943	43%
tobago	1,188,107,755	65%
cassidydawn	1,888,768,866	43%
atheistrepublic	52,755,139,554	21.5%
tatiana21	3,777,132,365	100%
machan	5,842,565,789	21.5%
fenngen	1,005,739,938	21.5%
riazud	473,112,592	21.5%
bella.bear	1,276,631,742	21.5%
rcaine	3,139,271,382	2%
tariqul.bibm	836,027,473	100%
pavelsku	15,078,523,118	12.5%
asia-pl	216,365,522,780	100%
gmlrecordz	743,799,914	50%
ribary	4,481,618,899	6%
steemlatintrail	1,062,940,837	100%
rufoodingkidding	768,440,536	43%
bilpcoinbpc	894,036,381	5%
mice-k	1,093,160,306	12%
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monica-ene	9,130,166,654	10.75%
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hivebuzz	23,588,646,415	3%
theterminal	368,527,996,507	80%
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ykretz	471,176,782	5%
reggaejahm	108,379,478,900	65%
timhorton	8,889,809,069	95%
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cerberus-dji	2,065,713,031	95%
dcityrewards	530,367,016,677	12%
meppij	24,059,086,493	43%
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hivelist	11,853,371,984	12.5%
ecency	554,792,572,314	1%
hivecannabis	8,200,341,584	95%
sidjay	637,084,825	12.9%
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patronpass	2,491,611,232	25%
jelly13	502,032,446	6%
plusvault	532,322,933	25%
anafae	5,350,214,164	8.6%
ecency.stats	370,684,188	1%
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martial.media	2,609,153,380	50%
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dragokazo	885,053,886	21.5%
goliathus	1,745,212,006	21.5%
ordet	1,661,301,505	21.5%
hive-vpn	1,861,462,026	95%
brettpullen	13,653,358,733	30%
blezyn	3,565,320,557	21.5%
fazendadolobo	587,143,517	90%
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hiveart	1,929,419,924	21.5%
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nadin-zakrevska	45,590,895,303	100%
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johnny023	1,573,570,365	21.5%
eturnerx-dbuzz	21,998,661,419	71%
hivelifebg	2,507,357,604	21.5%
hametaro	4,487,651,221	50%
rosanna-brava	29,152,440,265	100%
maryjacy	10,603,027,581	35%
acstriker	48,318,441,967	100%
vaipraonde	3,748,712,739	21.5%
kurkumita	933,387,566	5%
liotes.fund	1,501,527,462	100%
nyxlabs	1,476,493,475	4.3%
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corvidae	139,207,087,036	100%
mariasalas19	1,788,679,500	21.5%
leoball	1,534,181,316	25%
mrhoofman	1,807,632,080	10.75%
soltecno	31,917,184,459	100%
awakening-along	2,357,871,338	25%
threedotz	611,959,238	16%
zwhammer	1,144,721,603	50%
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egistar	544,585,165	2.5%
maridmc	5,704,655,451	35%
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alkirua	10,053,217,422	100%
lpa	6,061,286,017	100%
nabu.doconosor2	1,033,413,663	21.5%
gbuchynska	1,855,056,970	100%
yoieuqudniram	4,684,411,016	21.5%
cristanza42	169,920,914,224	100%
trezzahn	21,780,745,718	100%
aloysiusmbaba	921,388,712	21.5%
fantagira	3,013,602,248	10.75%
purasia	474,754,787	50%
penta555	3,779,736,108	100%
sakurakko	10,508,875,581	100%
lanchik	11,873,830	43%
soturi	875,281,920	100%
dimascastillo90	16,979,561,434	25%
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eylz619	495,196,800	21.5%
iproto	6,636,340,891	50%
akmenos	518,470,134	100%
winnietran	1,922,724,402	21.5%
tonmarinduque	678,021,616	21.5%
pinkhub	22,339,835,325	100%
churchoftheway	650,763,227	25%
tonton23	1,577,503,245	21.5%
fantagira7	2,054,507,903	50%
mrskjp	2,279,691,519	100%
metapiziks	626,826,576	21.5%
visualshots	154,975,244,650	70%
crimsonowl-art	751,269,287	21.5%
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cherute	1,390,319,310	21.5%
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nurodan	599,348,254	21.5%
arveno	21,679,347,130	100%
femcy-willcy	697,102,751	21.5%
woodathegsd	11,291,648,925	50%
hutorou	611,733,925	50%
baninan	843,192,282	21.5%
waliphoto	1,903,448,522	21.5%
mmoonn	1,897,220,760	100%
justonehope	15,291,912,830	100%
vindiesel1980	116,432,736,174	25%
dr-animation	1,469,541,089	100%
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hive-156687	2,899,903,631	100%
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pavelmundo	537,895,781	21.5%
dominicano	537,797,274	21.5%
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ditoferrer	565,765,008	10.75%
chachababe	1,219,926,756	21.5%
balabambuz	5,948,154,565	21.5%
elchaleefatoe15	5,509,266,239	20%
sayu907	766,364,496	12.5%
motionup	44,790,551,054	100%
anna-newkey	32,946,756,393	50%
cannaworms	5,284,756,430	100%
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nazom	485,636,664	21.5%
caelum1infernum	2,380,254,577	10%
sovebrito	795,205,131	21.5%
aletoalonewolf	2,121,423,461	37.5%
baboz	12,327,759,493	10.75%
artysela	3,366,887,607	34.4%
castri-ja	2,821,914,606	10.75%
richardslater	14,042,084,246	35%
oniriusz	15,244,545,211	100%
coldbeetrootsoup	54,693,861,268	100%
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myegoandmyself	128,469,514,042	6%
martina-sigulin	800,563,179	21.5%
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the13anarchist	771,224,246	6.25%
hive.aid	68,269,087,668	100%
pinkchic	2,653,544,088	4%
salicj	7,334,491,766	16%
josueand	818,357,999	70%
r4f4	772,497,135	21.5%
valentinaboroday	37,607,833,585	100%
pixelart2022	1,627,457,405	30.1%
aprilgillian	2,095,189,325	10%
diding	3,403,112,589	100%
ralbe	538,155,768	21.5%
ambicrypto	896,114,256,571	21.5%
psyskiff	332,308,249	25%
sassy.cebuana	545,708,473	10.75%
peakecoin	927,457,181	100%
naviii	504,680,500	21.5%
ganjafrmer	8,314,334,523	50%
rop1	5,891,567,633	70%
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laimagenhabla	26,090,707,255	70%
guarenasflow	8,129,974,001	100%
vielsiarias	4,695,829,028	70%
kpgamingch	1,680,128,367	21.5%
my-account	908,666,001	10.75%
kawa-i-kredki	2,868,986,241	100%
dicmerrivas	2,894,137,522	35%
aliciarodriguez	12,164,440,882	70%
lovver	16,688,837,910	100%
norwaylife	182,293,801,574	85%
untilwelearn	10,007,442,409	31%
yummycruz1	873,025,037	50%
alliebee	638,719,966	21.5%
like2cbrs	1,781,885,207	100%
flourishandflora	746,301,744	21.5%
cur8	1,635,761,295,937	50%
adeade123	941,943,571	21.5%
hive-158302	6,569,218,413	100%
hive-ja	266,881,292,488	100%
madilyn02	4,658,646,012	100%
steve.and.anke	5,609,375,475	100%
cbrsphilanthropy	52,128,777,688	100%
chnuschper	1,130,295,079	21.5%
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@asia-pl · 2024-03-03T03:17:57+00:00

$0.04

Fight, Priyan! 🪷🪷🪷

👍 priyanarc

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properties (23)vote details (1)

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priyanarc	0 B		64,921,847,160	50%

@priyanarc · 2024-03-03T10:33:03+00:00

I will Asia...

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@ellenripley · 2024-03-03T20:45:54+00:00

$0.04

I think it's a good sign that you feel relieved after talking with your therapist.  You are hopefully offloading things instead of keeping it all in.  Keep believing you will get there!

👍 priyanarc

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properties (23)vote details (1)

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-04T21:09:48+00:00

$0.02

It takes time to open up infront of someone you don't know at all but also it's an advantage because the person sitting in front of you doesn't know you at all and won't judge you. I started this long journey willingly so I have to manage myself to move forward no matter what...

👍 ellenripley, dustbunny

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@erikah · 2024-03-03T19:13:21+00:00

$0.04

>I am fighting with myself, every day to get better...

This says it all and I'm glad to see it written down. Healing is a process and takes time. Once you start getting better (although I think the process has started already), you'll have more energy, more focus on things and that emptiness will be filled with plans. You'll get busy and forget about these phases. It's going to happen, just don't give up. You get the help you need and change is coming. 🤗

👍 priyanarc

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properties (23)vote details (1)

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-04T21:21:00+00:00 (edited)

> you'll have more energy, more focus on things and that emptiness will be filled with plans. You'll get busy and forget about these phases.

That's the only hope and that's why until now I have attended all the appointments patiently...Yes, sometimes I really don't want to do any therapies or anything but I push myself to continue treatment for the future. At some point in life, I have to start over. I have to get rid of all the traumas to move forward in life...

Thank you so much Erikah...

properties (22)

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@erikah · 2024-03-04T21:33:00+00:00

>At some point in life, I have to start over. I have to get rid of all the traumas to move forward in life...

Exactly! You have to get ready to start over, which is a process and therapy is part of that process. 

You're not alone with this. I get up every morning and say today I'm on strike and don't want to do anything, but I know I'm going to do all the things on my list because I know that's the only way to achieve my goals. 

Take care 🤗

properties (22)

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@evelynchacin · 2024-03-07T19:11:27+00:00

$0.04

I read this post a while ago, but then I got busy with Olivia and forgot about it (such is motherhood).  Today I remembered it again and I take advantage of Olivia being asleep to hug you from a distance and tell you that you are so strong! That you can do it! Sometimes I feel like you, alone, and come on I have my husband and my baby here but I also miss my siblings, my friends, my mom, and I am sure that someday I will see them again.

👍 priyanarc

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-08T20:31:18+00:00

Trust me I am feeling really happy to know that at least you remember my post because I can imagine mom's life only and many things get skip from mind so easily when you are busy with your toddler. You really understood my point and loneliness; the life I actually miss. Meeting friends and family always special and I actually miss my friends. How's Olivia doing? I bet she is growing so fast. Give my love to her dear...

👍 evelynchacin

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@evelynchacin · 2024-03-08T20:43:39+00:00

That's right friend, so busy and tired that sometimes I feel guilty for feeling sad. I guess you and I just live in the now missing a lot of things. 

Thanks for asking. We are doing well, Olivia recovering from the allergy dermatitis she has, but overall well, we are sure she will get over it soon. Yes, she is so big, I can't hold her in my arms much longer hahaha .

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@fee-service-new · 2024-03-03T02:36:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing this diary!

👍 soy-laloreto, fee-service-new
👎 erikah

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@nathen007 · 2024-03-04T04:58:30+00:00 (edited)

$0.04

It's not meaningless when you give so much support yo other with your blog writing :-)

Emptiness means you just need a trigger to fill it up with good stuff.

Try not to be too harsh on your friend. Many countries are not so advanced in taking things like mental health issues seriously or understanding exactly what that means  It takes a huge change in mindset and that takes time. 

Sometimes, when parents of kids with adhd, autism etc., who come to our clinic say that progress is slow, I always suggest they look back and imagine what thi is would have been like without help and therapy.

From an outsiders view, from the first posts , out your issues when the war started, you've come a he'll of a long way :-)

Take care and be as well as you feel you can be :-)

👍 priyanarc

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-04T21:17:45+00:00

> Many countries are not so advanced in taking things like mental health issues seriously or understanding exactly what that means It takes a huge change in mindset and that takes time.

Yes, true, and unfortunately not everyone understands war situations and traumas. I know that too but sometimes it hurts when people don't know how to deal with someone, of course it is all about culture. It hurts to be honest because I didn't expect that my friend would react to my conversation like this. I get so many text messages from relatives and friends and I don't reply to them anymore. Unfortunately, people only see the outside of me, and when someone says that I am really lucky that I am a refugee in Europe, it hurts somehow and I can't accept that. Maybe one day I will write elaborately the context jealousy and humiliation I faced after fleeing from the war...

> From an outsiders view, from the first posts , out your issues when the war started, you've come a he'll of a long way :-)

Agree and I am happy that I asked for help at that time instead of staying silent. I grew up a lot mentally so I would say so far the treatment was successful...

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@olga.maslievich · 2024-04-20T16:53:51+00:00

Dear @priyanarc . I feel similar things.  I have been in Turkey for two years now.  My life has changed so much.  First the death of both my parents, then the war ... When the short-term joy of escaping from the war passed, a sense of the meaninglessness of life and emptiness came...

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@priyanarc · 2024-04-21T21:13:48+00:00

You have been going through a lot, I can understand your struggle. Beginning when I fled, I thought no matter what, my safety matters but gradually I started having difficulties with the new life which was full of uncertainty. It's really tough and hard to explain. I completely feel your emotions... Take care and stay strong...

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@palomap3 · 2024-03-03T18:43:00+00:00

$0.04

To be able to fill before you have to empty. It feels strange, because it is not our natural state. But it's a sign that you're on the right track. Keep walking, you will soon start to fill in a different way than before. Better. A big hug. ❤️

👍 priyanarc, pedrobrito2004

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-03T18:47:48+00:00

That's the only hope because I have been noticing my strange behavior for a couple of weeks. There are not enough words to explain the feelings and emotions I am having right now. It's not obsessive or impulsive and it scares me because I can't recognize myself properly...

The process is very long but like you said, I am on the right track...

Thank you for taking the time to read my post dear, have a nice weekend...

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@qurator · 2024-03-03T13:47:48+00:00

Qurator

<center>Manually curated by ewkaw from the @qurator Team. Keep up the good work!</center>

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-03T18:45:06+00:00

Thank you @ewkaw and @qurator

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@sabajfa · 2024-03-08T12:11:42+00:00

$0.04

Dear @priyanarc , your words touched my heart. I feel your pain and struggles through your words . Keep writing and keep fighting , you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Unfortunately not everyone understands the severity of psychological struggles and mental health problems , I know the feeling of opening up to someone and not get the support and understanding that you need. I'm hoping for better and brighter days for you. Don't give up 💕😍

👍 priyanarc

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-08T20:33:09+00:00

> Unfortunately not everyone understands the severity of psychological struggles and mental health problems

Yes and I guess I also won't understand what others are going through unless they open up to me. I am not blaming anyone, it just makes me lonely and sad. This whole journey is mine and I have to do it alone I know. Thank you, my dear...

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@soltecno · 2024-03-03T19:37:21+00:00

$0.06

Not all people have empathy, in life there are few people with whom we can sit down and talk.

I wish that my best wishes be with you for your well-being.
Take care.

👍 priyanarc, pedrobrito2004

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@priyanarc · 2024-03-04T21:10:51+00:00

> Not all people have empathy, in life there are few people with whom we can sit down and talk.

That is true and I should understand that as well that my problems are really hard to understand. Thank you so much for being so supportive always...

👍 soltecno

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@visualshots · 2024-03-03T17:56:51+00:00

<center>

<sub>This post was curated by the <A HREF="https://peakd.com/c/hive-132248/created"><STRONG>Visual Shots</STRONG></A> Team</sub>
<sub>Join to our <A HREF="https://discord.gg/gTsaAfUwZn"><STRONG>Discord</STRONG></A> Channel</sub>
<sub>Be part of our <A HREF="https://hive.vote/dash.php?trail=visualshots&i=1"><STRONG>Curation Trail</STRONG></A></sub>
<div  class=phishy>
<sub>Delegations are welcome</sub>

</div>

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</center>

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`root_title`	"A day of void and emptiness - A page of my "Depressive Diary""
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@priyanarc · 2024-03-03T18:45:12+00:00

Thank you...

properties (22)