I love a good debate, its sad to see when it devolves into ad hominem and other logical fallacies to try and berate and win over the argument. For me its never about winning but rather about learning and sharing knowledge. 

Thank you for taking the time to share this post!

Excellently put Raz!

Some say that arguments, opinions and points should be governed by:
>Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.

But sometimes people like to be stalked or don't have a problem with gore or pornography so I say the above **needs** to go in tandem with:
>Our liberty ends where the liberty of others begins.

Only that way conversations and points are made in a way that benefits everyone and doesn't end up in broken *friendships*.

Good post! 100% you are right! 
Thanks for sharing @razvanelulmarin!
What I think: "If you disagree with someone, that's not a reason to immediately to respond aggressively or even worse. Calm down and if you don't want to continue the conversation, finish it. That's all! Everyone has a right to their point of view!"

I am all about a good fight. I just define a *good* fight as one that ends with resolution. :)

High value content! -upvotet

Choosing to be happy instead of choosing to be right. I wish I could apply this for me because in the end I always get frustrated when I cant convince someone  about anything. I´m very hot.

Nice read Raz

Very insightful. The moment an argument goes ad hominem that's when I end it. No reason to argue at that point. I agree, keeping a cool head is the most productive thing to do.

Great post Raz. This pretty much sums it up for me. If people can think of this when they are arguing, the world would be more peaceful. I think our discussion earlier was very similar to this. So much depends on  one's point of view...
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/79/69/00/7969003a49be87b104b5afcfbc5b4afb.jpg

But in the end, we can both agree on the big picture "It's a number"... until someone comes along and points out that is also the letter "g". Then, if we are intelligent we will change our stance to. 'It's a number or a letter".

Counterpoint: if you can't squat your  body-weight to proper depth your argument is invalid. Discuss.

Beyond ad hominen attack, there is also the question of misinterpretation specially when we argue by text not in face-to-face, what is suppose to be funny could be interpret as rude or a misplaced comment for somebody for example

Haha that is the worst! Half way through a heated argument you realize it is you that is in the wrong...

Yes. Bring on the rational disagreement and opposition to a subject or post. No problem there. If a correction or clarity can be brought through exposing an error, I welcome it. I seek to be corrected if I am wrong.

But some people are douches, pretending they are "intellectually" superior and resort to baseless insults and name calling instead of focusing on the actual subject at hand. Some people seem to prefer that, to dismiss a post without actually addressing a single point made, and brush it off with nonsensical mockery.

Here is an example from someone many on Steemit view as a "smart" person who is well liked by many:

> "please P.M the drug combinations you are doing to write these"

![](https://img1.steemit.com/0x0/http://i64.tinypic.com/29nz3wn.jpg)

> "Now you are flagging my comments @krnel?
Started getting sour I see.
You are just full of it. I seriously believe you need mental supervision."

That's not disagreeing in any valid way, that's just being an asshole. They, and many people, could clearly learn a lot from your post, through I doubt they would care to. They seem to think they are "right" for ignoring a subject and trying ti ignorantly dismiss it or belittle the person who wrote it, simply because they "don't like it". It's childish immature behavior.

Take care. Peace.

always too hot and ice cold right after lol

Absolutely, it's important as you say to keep your mind open to the counter arguments. I am always open to a good bit of discussion. With the proviso that I am always right of course ;0)

I've only had one person personally attack me for stating an opinion.  Boy, oh boy did I stew over it!  But in the end I chose not to respond because it wasn't worth throwing fuel on the fire.  What I really wanted to say to them was: *You are soooo right!  I really am an idiot because you obviously know me better than I know myself.*  But dripping with sarcasm doesn't come across on comments too well.  

But I digress.  Some people are just itching for a fight and I just want to get along and expand my horizons.

As a fiction writer, I am aware that I need to write in one character's point of view.  That means if I'm writing in Johnny's POV, I can't possibly know what Sara's thinking.  Doesn't that make sense in real world applications too?  

Here's my pet peeve when there's an argument/debate:  While I (generally) keep an open mind and will hear out an opposing argument, it drives me crazy when I see people closed off because they're too busy thinking about their own argument rather than LISTENING for valid points.  I've often stopped talking in the middle of a sentence, taken a deep breath and said, "Let's agree not to agree" then walk away.  It totally takes the wind out of their sails and I don't feel like banging my head against the wall.

Haha! I wrote this same article yesterday, though not quite as well-put.I chose not to post it because the framing was too emotionally loaded. You make my own points better than I could because of being able to create more emotional distance. I'm thrilled to read this.

I definitely prefer to persuade by being compassionate and clear. It's so much easier to start talking down to someone for being ignorant than to realize they may just need a key piece of information to change their mind. I clearly prefer cool argumentation, though not cold.

Finding ways to keep an open mind and unbiased within a conversation or while reading a posts is difficult.  Those critical commentary step are solid.

My own little method for steemit it this:
Was the post "value add."  If it any way added value to the community through knowledge, catalyst for discussion, etc.  I will upvote, even if I completely disagree with the point being made.

And then of course...if it entertains me then upvoted as well.  I'm a simple creature..LOL

Because if I win an argument, but lose a friend, what have I really won?
A good argument could open the awareness of your friend, what can change his perspective or point of view or state of mind.
You will win nothing but gain a new improved friend, like it's an upgrade.
He gained more knowledge!!
Or he cant accept the argument, because he don't see it like a good argument.
And then you might lose a friend.
That wound mean that he was never a friend, that only means that he/she don't understand yet how to see the truth of your argument.
Unfortunately that is for many enough to break a friendship, while this exactly prove that the angry friend just need more knowledge about what a good or bad argument really is.


How do you take your arguments: hot or cold?
The first thing I do is breath, IL take a few big breaths and then Il focus on the argument.
The next thing I do is focus on if the argument is legit, if yes then IL look if the person is right or correct with his argument.
Il have to see some evidence of his argument and .....If the person is right, then Il accept it as the truth.

Great post. Thank you for writing it.

>Unless I argue with an absolute troll, I want to always leave a little space for peace. I value peace more than I value being always right.

Good advice.

So far on Steemit, I have run into 2 trolls.  One of these I counter-trolled, and the other I just muted.  With muting, you understand that others can still see the troll's post on your page, but for your own sake you don't have to read it.

Something tells me that you had a 'small conversation' with someone and that conversation pushed you to write this great article! I can write something  and someone else will misunderstand me and will start a 'fight' but I will say: We must make a long peace than a small war! I fall into that trap you said and I hope I will not fall again! Hope is all we have ! Great post, Razvan!