Need help! by riskdebonair

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faux-help · @riskdebonair · Feb 23 '18 (edited)

$2.29

Need help!

![steemmade.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYoKxCWcLP8qYbGNEUTzdiYXJbUqrPUvRgdcVLwCUXhCC/steemmade.jpg)

# I think Steemit-inc is after me!

Yesterday I was at a coffee shop drinking orange tea out of a Chinese ornate ceramic cup.

"@ned is very handsome" a blockchain-lady friend of mine said.

"Oh, well he's just the CEO... he's not so great" I said trying to dismiss him due to my jealously of the babe in front of me somewhat melting as she said his name.

I only have @zappl on my mobile phone, but that was all it took.

An electric surge coming right outta of the blockchain exploded from my phone, frying the inside of my jacket with Steem.

"What the fick?" I screamed like a girl, momentarily losing my composure.

As the phone fell through my jacket pocket, melting onto the ground, I could see one message.

***STEEMIT inc is going to cut you up for data, and use your moisture to create more Steem.***

I shoved the blockchain-lady I know to the ground, she got covered in hot soup in the process, but that's okay, the story is about me.

So I ran, I ran all night, and day, but I couldn't get away.

Eventually they had somehow tracked me, and chased me down a dead end.

@ned was swinging his chain (his patented weapon of choice).

The rest of the Steem team had glue guns, knives, knuckle dusters, and these things that looked like guns, but were designed to suck the moisture out of you.

From several metres away @ned swung his chain slashing my face open.

I knew I would have no chance of escaping, and would soon be made into fresh Steem.

"I'm sorry!" I tried to apologise.

"For what?" he asked, before continuing with a smile "me and the boys are just out here having fun, isn't that right boys?"

"Fuck this shit" I said as I jumped into a hole full of still drying concrete.

I quickly covered myself in the concrete to protect myself.

They would never get me.

I slept for several hundreds of years, and then sent this Steemit post back in time.

# THE END?

👍 riskdebonair, crowdfundedwhale, funkit, world-traveler, milenamilak, macchiata, jacobts, seablue, smile4dayz, markush, jamesallen, dee-y, musiclover, rehan12, reedracer, cutiepie, cityslicker, nedkelly, luckyjack, blazing, starboye, prepperbot

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@blazing · Feb 23 '18

$0.05

That's how we  make steem ;p 

![U5dtQtxFqQsERPdkdk3i2NN8Ddc5VdK.gif](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZrWLP3a1UwxvwxonET6vw8FVVhctpGhVuPSFTLRxuu5C/U5dtQtxFqQsERPdkdk3i2NN8Ddc5VdK.gif)

👍 riskdebonair

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@cityslicker · Feb 24 '18

$0.07

oh man the writing skills i am simply loving it

👍 riskdebonair

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@cutiepie · Feb 24 '18

$0.07

hahah epic i would say lol this had me rolling ;)

👍 riskdebonair

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@dee-y · Feb 23 '18 (edited)

$0.49

Hahahahaha this post got me cranked up all the wayyyy... I mean. @ned with chain as a weapon of choice is just hilarious, he looks like a fork kind of guy (my opinion)... But like seriously @riskdebonair what inspired this? Because it's simply out of the box and super interesting.

>STEEMIT inc is going to cut you up for data, and use your moisture to create more Steem.

I guess that answers your question about how steem is made Lmao 😂😂😂😂
The time travel part was just perfect for an ending tho. Thanks for making me laugh today... I initially was scared cause I thought what I was reading was true... The phone melting part and all... Message popping out and yeesh... Too bad I believe it all Lolz... @dee-y over and out.

👍 riskdebonair

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@riskdebonair · Feb 23 '18

Glad you liked it.  I like to start the day with a bit of short writing to warm myself up, and I really enjoy writing absurdist/semi-violent stories.

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@dee-y · Feb 23 '18

Well I loved it!!!... More more more lolz

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@masum44 · Feb 23 '18

Nice Post, Thanks For Share It....

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@milenamilak · Feb 23 '18

$0.07

Amazing.

👍 riskdebonair

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@rehan12 · Feb 23 '18

$0.35

Lol liked the facts and the story buddy hahahaha !
Your imaginative skill is indeed great ;)

👍 riskdebonair

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@rimon512 · Feb 23 '18

valuable post, thanks for sharing this brother :)

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@shagorshikder · Feb 23 '18

it's cool.keep calm.and do..
be patience whatever you wabt to do

👍 shagorshikder

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@sheikh27 · Feb 23 '18

$0.13

funny but i don't know what!

👍 riskdebonair

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@starboye · Feb 24 '18

$0.07

you have taken me to all new different world hahah it was quite awesome

👍 riskdebonair

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@world-traveler · Feb 24 '18

$0.20

@riskdebonair hilarious lmao. Hey handsome @ned, James Bond of Steemit, hope your sophisticated maturity and experience will melt this post with a smile and an upvote.

👍 riskdebonair, smile4dayz

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