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<i>This is my answer to a question about what Indian parents are collectively doing wrong - I believe the context applies rather globally too, hence, posting this. </i>


A few years ago, my niece (who was then 3) and her mom were at a park. While her mom was sitting on a bench, the child went to the play area and ascended one of those individual rocking horses and started playing.

A minute later, a larger boy (probably 4 years or so) came right to her pushed her down on the ground and got on the horse.

My niece is somebody who avoids trouble as much as possible and though she fell down, she simply got up with a stunned look on her face (she wasn’t hurt) and simply went over to a swing that was unoccupied.

The boy’s mother was just a few paces away and was watching this without batting an eyelid.

My sister-in-law also saw this from a distance but decided not to interfere this time since my niece too had just walked away.

Two minutes later the same boy left the toy and headed for my niece and started pushing my niece off the swing.

The boy was just a regular little bully. Again his mother standing close by, didn’t care.

However, my sister-in-law decided to interfere - she hurried up to the kids and told the boy “Don’t do that - Wait for your turn” in a stern voice.

The boy was suddenly felt intimated when a grown up confronted him and ran to his mother and started complaining. Of course, his mother didn’t need any explanation - she saw the entire incident herself.

So this mother walks up to my sister-in-law and starts yelling at her for upsetting her boy - gives a lecture about letting kids be kids and whatnot.

My sister in law left the play area fuming taking my niece - she decided it was not worth arguing with the lady.

So do you see what’s really wrong here?

The mother instead of telling the kid he was wrong and correcting him, encouraged his behaviour.

That kid at that tender age was bullying a smaller younger girl and he gets the impression that what he does was right because his mom decided to take his side.

Think about the value he is being taught at that age.

Think about how that kid who grows up with such values become when he is an adult - most possibly a selfish habitual bully, who picks on those smaller or those in subordinate positions, because he was never taught the right values at the age he was most impressionable.

Or worse still if he's somebody who regularly picks on small girls, he might end up being far worse.

Not correcting children when they make a mistake while young and often justifying it is one of those things Indian parents collectively (and probably even many outside India) do wrong.<hr>

Originally posted as the author's answer to a question on Quora: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-that-Indian-parents-are-collectively-doing-wrong<hr>

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