![sadness-g694879a9b_1920.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmX3fB8qz7YfpzqetknVgYF55zJWPsh41EwmRdrETXPfJG/sadness-g694879a9b_1920.jpg)
Hello Ladies of hive, I left my corner to vent with you, after writing this I can be calmer and with the lightest load.

I apologize in advance for any grammar errors. English is not my first language.

If you have not read my introduction (I invite you to read it) you should know that I come from a very large family, both maternal and paternal, there are too many. However, I am not very close to them, every few days I meet someone new. One more face, little time to make friends. I will not see her again. Maybe the following year. Maybe never. I completely forget it.

However, there is a small number that has a place in my heart. I have known them since I was born, I have shared with them. They are an essential part of my life. So imagine, that a loved one has some health problem that affects him, to such a degree that he has to go into an emergency operating room. It worries even the strongest.

There the race begins. Carry out exams, consultations, get medical supplies, pay for medical services. Money is scarce; the requirements increase. I'm not looking to hurt anyone, but you should know that where I live is the country where I live has the highest hyperinflation and there is a terrible health crisis. We look for the way; others are not so lucky.

The date is set, he enters the operating room the next day. The night before I feel a bubble burst, my fears increase and my heart sinks. I am not strong. I'm afraid. Because I love her too much and fear for her. Unfortunately in that room anything can happen. One mistake can put you at risk. Sometimes it happens.

It's already 1:00 AM on the day of the operation and I can't sleep. I write to you. I need you to know. I never express what I feel to him since he knows me more than anyone. But she knows. Mothers always know. However, this time I have to tell you, you need to know. Because I can't keep it on me. The future is uncertain. She comforts me like a little girl, and I feel that way again.

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It is 9:00 AM, time to enter the room. Only one person can go with her. Her husband, my grandmother goes anyway. Is his daughter. Wait outside. I can't go, I have to work. You want to give up.

Hours pass and my grandmother arrives. What happened? They did not intervene. Because an emergency came. Then another, the COVID patient, is a disaster. You have to disinfect the room, you can no longer operate. Anger kicks in. I am very selfish. Maybe that patient had a more serious emergency, but as we know we will always put our loved ones first. For me, my loved one had to be cared for first. The other after.

In the end they set another date. Next week and I don't know how to feel. If happy to avoid the anguish or bitter for lengthening the wait. The truth is that my heart is still heavy and I don't know what fate will bring in that room. I can only trust God and the doctors. But I still doubt. And the doubt will not go away until I see it well with my own eyes.

My respects to those who live day and night in a hospital, for being next to a loved one. I could not bear the anguish and it was for a moment. Imagine them. They are incredible.

I write this to share my feelings with you friends. It is dedicated to my aunt who is like my mother. Who has always loved me and I love her. And for those who have gone through a situation similar to mine.