Ok I'm tripping all over the house on potatoes. The boy and the dog have been playing with them in the yard. My dog now retrieves potatoes.  There's a Bag in front of the Fridge, one in the barn and a Box in the cupboard and somehow I Just stepped on one and tripped.

This shit has to stop. Before I go starch raving mad.

You hear me taters your time is NIGH!

(Grabs the potato peeler and prepares the headsmans block) 


![IMG_20211105_120721.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23vi1oHuAJZJCaHpppjFridFZ5pzHcUgTkvX4CJw15VuUSXWawCG8Ue52Bh2X2jtMeMWS.jpg)


So Today I'm going to be...
*Boiling and Mashing the spuds of @edprivat*
Don't worry he likes it. 

**Thanks for all the taters... I think**

I always had a fascination with the old medieval tradition of making food look like something it isn't. Such as The sweetbreads and sweetmeats of the time period. You know Offal and organs made to look like delicious cakes, and cakes and puddings made to look like entrails and animal heads.

So last night for shits and giggles I decided to have some fun with the lad making dessert and dinner dishes with potatoes, with a plan on using any excess mash potatoes in breakfast.

So we commenced peeling and chopping a metric shit ton of potatoes. All mashed plain, no butter or salt Just plain old Mashed taters. You'll understand why in a minute.

First off we Let the mash cool in a covered Dutch oven. Then we prepared dessert, cause it needs to chill in the fridge for a good few hours.

Ready for some weird science?

### Potato Candy

1/2 Cup (125g) Mashed potato
1 cup (125g) Powdered Icing Sugar
1/2 TSP of Vanilla extract
1 1/2 Cup (135g) Desiccated Coconut Flakes
1/2 Cup (45g) Ground Hazelnut or Almond

*(Optional)*
*Cinnamon for coating *
*Crushed walnuts to make eyes on the spuds*

![IMG_20211104_172954.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23wMaj9f4zusmgn6pNiBjks1B2Ynn48wzPGCraG7JXdzTUtBdmGTGJSEAMzc8gkWCVKZ2.jpg)

Now These Mashed potatoes need passed through a colander or blitzed, don't want any lumps in the candy.

So get your assistant to get them nice and smooth. Once they're ready put them in a large mixing bowl and add the icing sugar and vanilla extract. 

Now watch the magic happen.

The potato starch reacts with the glucose in the sugar and becomes... Liquid!

Seriously the first time I did this I started giggling like a kid in a Meth Lab making my first rocks. 

Chemistry!

Next add your coconut and powdered nut and mix into a thick paste. Leave it to absorb the moisture for 10 minutes. 

Now Try and roll a bit into a ball.

If you cant roll it into a ball add a bit more Coconut or Powdered Nut.

![IMG_20211104_200230.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23tH3VcYVFdyLVjpubzGUStV3sK25stqNVuTaCqHRnBa1kJThSaB3AgYeyqT7fRoNF8Ew.jpg)

Once you can shape them, roll them in cinnamon powder and decorate with broken walnuts. Alternatively you can just roll them in coconut or Powdered nuts to make them like little truffles.


![IMG_20211104_201046.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23xVPJH2DPcMgdgSRxqKfsTPMzMNDvz2dNgXLUDY7hMJnrVeZtA1k7iFB81aUPNG7gxod.jpg)

Attack of the Killer Potatoes...

![IMG_20211105_090251.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23vsLKCGSCLpjJMsUcBG31BRtxQGE5q76wq3z1WFUGvq3vcoQKFyVyCdGMLCVAn1iMybt.jpg)

Refrigerate for 3 Hours Overnight is better but who has time for that.

See they look like the real thing! And while it sounds like an odd combination Its delicious. If you don't like coconut you can use just powdered Nuts (Hazelnut or Almond works best) and chia seeds Which is equally delicious.

Now onto dinner....
Things are about to get shitty, Don't say I didn't warn you.

### POOmmes Duchess 
*Not a typo.*
(Also known as pommes duchesse, you'll get it soon enough...)
Preheat the oven to 350°f (180°c)
2 lbs (900g) of Mash Potato
4 Egg Yolks
4 Big Tbsp of Butter
Salt and Pepper to season.

Optional:
*1 TSP Dijon Mustard*

Ok this Recipe needs little explanation. With your warm mash potatoes Mix The butter, egg yolks, salt pepper and Dijon mustard. (Obviously the mustard is optional. but it adds a really nice subtle flavour)


Now mash the shit out of it. Puree those potatoes till your arm feels like its gonna fall off. Or stick it in a Mixer if you don't fancy the workout.

Now grab your fancy piping bag. (A Ziplock bag and cut the corner off.)

Pipe onto some Baking paper in your desired shape.

![IMG_20211104_174436.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23xATJorcVgCRjoA7GyXomjKZYcbVSYFzNP6QC2UdeEtwy18RFzue58C7pRMJGnVcYFEr.jpg)

(You can obviously make the fancy shapes by using a proper Icing bag with a tip but where's the fun in that.)


VOILA

![IMG_20211104_174707.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23wqnsE3G3qjPNdRUxqSinjCcAdnoLyQdwbQ2BrrRKwpVrGL2JeMoKY5LFjabMgJfZJqo.jpg)

Brush them with some milk and throw them into the oven till they get nice and golden on the outside.


![IMG_20211104_184941.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23vhz73BzfuLRn58swZLUfdusLYDK8Emm1zj9Vuiti5KD1cNP4LpinGqQbZXeQxAmQWAF.jpg)

Shit Heaps of fun at the dinner table. And once it gets a drizzle of Reduced red wine gravy it looks so real you can almost smell it. 

We've had great fun serving everyone but a single guest the fancy pommes duchess and one guest a poo shaped one. Trust me its *hilarious*.

Tonight we stuck with poo cause the lad had a blast doing it.

![IMG_20211104_185533.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23xybSHmaqAppBxJcfpuWzJYYfmPN2ju8KMgvbPZ9kWYtz2HV6zM5KevexZ8FkJSfgRPq.jpg)

Honestly have a go at this shit, It might be the only time you ever hear your guests say *That Shits delicious!* and really mean it.

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Now the last one is something my great grandmother used to make and is probably my favourite way to use up leftover Potato.
*So no funny business*

### Irish Potato Cakes

2 Cups (500g) Cold Mash Potato 
1 Cup (125g) Flour
1 TBSP Baking Powder 
1 egg yolk 
Salt Pepper 

You'll notice a lot of old recipes follow a sliding volumetric measure by quantity. Probably because scales and fancy measures were reserved for wealthier households.

Ever wonder why really old recipes for food are incredibly unspecific? 

The early units used in most households were often a ladle, or a tea cup or another easily identified and adjusted unit in the household.

Perfect Pancakes 1-1-1 Flour, Buttermilk (or milk) to 1 egg
Perfect Irish Potato Cakes 2-1-1 Egg Yolk

![IMG_20211105_093114.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23xVGnSgLEHn5cQ4VJ7fCsCmP6i6st4Kg6qK2DeUwAb7qxLtkWhqVTGs5vyKH5aGm4vYK.jpg)
Here's some Patties I made for freezing.

Our raising agent here is baking powder for simplicity, but works equally well with sourdough starter or fresh yeast. Just Add a Tsp of Sugar and pat them out and leave them to rise for a bit before cooking.


So this is the best I can do by measurements to do these justice. Simplicity in itself but absolutely delicious.

Basically put your cold mashed potato in a big mixing bowl and add the flour and baking powder. 

Mash them together with the back of a fork until you get a crumbly mixture.

Now add the egg yolk A good dash of salt and pepper and mix it together until its mostly incorporated.

Time to get dirty.

Grease your hands up and work the dough until it binds. It has the finished texture of a slightly sticky bread dough. It took me about 5 minutes to get it well mixed and workable. 

Now leave it in the bowl covered with a cloth for 10-15 minutes.

Heat a large skillet up and pat out your desired shape. 

DRY cook them in your skillet on medium heat flipping every few minutes. 

At this thickness they take about 10-15 minutes to cook through and crisp up nicely.

I like them pretty thick, about 1/2" Thick but you can do miniature ones fairly thin and end up with some awesome blinis. Great for parties.

![IMG_20211105_085844.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/rubido/23tSUbboLPikFRkihMTzxouWw5XMBF4Z7FoqvGqnVDycMa2vHpinD7vCZnhTiQrcErCet.jpg)


Once cooked you can put some on butter them, top them with a bit of jam or marmalade, or a fried egg. They also store well in the freezer so Its A good Idea to make a big batch.

So that's about it for me and potatoes for a few days. I'm all spudded out.

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I would like to say no potatoes were harmed during this post but that would be a Lie. I killed and skinned the entire Spudly Family alive. Then with their dying breath the were plunged in boiling water. 

Rest in Pieces Dudley, Rudley, Maudely, and Cuddley.

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All Photos taken by me on My Chinesium Phone A Xiamoi Mi 11 lite

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