You would think that for someone who appreciates nature, a walk in the woods would be relaxing. It could be, and in most cases it is but once I set my destination at an eco village a two hour walk from the station in an area with no public transportation, I was suddenly in a very different reality from that of the 21st century. 


![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmUTBCa88GS49AnqPd87Uxjx9uUwtUV16fzKkTXrHBQzkH/img_3992.png)


I mentioned the overall experience in my last post, but the whole walk was more than just a physical adventure. It was an enlightening experience that placed me very far outside of my routine and helped me appreciate the society that I often have so many (fair) crticisms of. 

I always try to dig deep into whatever thoughts, feelings and memories arise as I’m going about my day because they often reveal hints as to what direction I should take in the future, how to approach certain problems and what I need work on. 

“This should be fun” was my first reaction to the thought of walking so far into the mountains. 

About 15 minutes into the mountains I realized that my thoughts were racing and I was hardly present. My excitement over the possibilities completely blinded to my own rightful anxieties over such a journey.  I experienced the anxiety but only when actually in this new situation did I realize those anxieties were present. 

I realized very quickly that this trip was more than just a walk in the woods. This was a chance for me to untangle. 

The initial approach to the journey says everything about my personality. When I feel relatively safe, I oversimplify everything out of excitment. The preperation and care that I COULD take would make my journey a lot more pleasant and perhaps even more fruitful than the already awesome result. 

I get overexcited like a golden retreiver and accidently knock things over, sometimes in abstract ways that aren’t easy to pick up on.  I’m reminded of a friends dog (ok it eas a laberador, not a golden retreiver) that would get so excited about swimming in the ocean that he would tire himself out and need to be rescued. 

That can be me when I feel safe and excited. 

That can be a great initial reaction to things because who doesn’t like feeling excited.  But then once it wears off you often find disturbances under the surface, or an inability to adjust one’s rhythm to the situation. 

My first 10 minutes i contemplated whether or not I was actually going to commit to a two hour walk.  Should I try hitchhiking?  I’ve never done it in Japan and I hate being andisturbance in these local areas. 

The next 15 minutes as I was waking through a tiny village were that I might be disturbing these people. I was eager to explore and experience and so I may have stepped into private roads once or twice to enjoy the view. Not a huge problem but I wonder how many times strangers shownup in these vilages…hardly ever I assume. 

Even the first village I came across a 15 minute walk from the station…it was mostly filled with older people and being the introvert disguised as an extrovert I feel a little uncomfortable to say Hi when their face doesn’t look friendly. Maybe they won’t think twice about me if I don’t do anything to attrqct their attention.  

No no that won’t do, I should greet them to make them feel that I am bot a threat.

“Kon…nichi…konichiwa!”

The first man grumbles at me. I soon realize I’m at a dead end and I’m waking straight to his house. 

“Uh sorry, is this a dead end?”

“Yes”

“Oh sorry about that”

He grumbles again. 

Different people have different temperament and I know ehat it’s like to have your home invaded by tourists who raise the pirce of living and bring big crowds and al that. 

These areas aren’t in immediate danger of becoming tourist areas, but I am not sure how uncomfortable people might be of me filming a video of the mountains with their home in the background. I try not to record when people are around (it’s actually illegal to film someones face without permission in Japan.  If they ask you to take a video down and you don’t they could potentially take lega action against you, or so I hear. 

People also have a very strict distinction between tourism and local life and to be an explorer in these local areas may be a bit concerning to someone. 

“Is it really ok if I hitchhike?”  I think to myself. 

Japan is finally starting to open up to foreigners and accept different ways of thinking and living. Do I really want to reinforce stereotypes that we are SO different and that we might disturb their way of life. 

To understand my line of thinking you must first understand that Japanese people can be extremely sensitive. In a country where things tend to function extremey reliably and there are few surprises within the daily routine, few disturbances, few crimes, much less rebellious behavior and a general atmosphere of conformity, not just out of tradition but because stuff seems to work well as it is…in a pace like that, being too different can be offensive. 

As I mentioned in my previous post, I ended up meeting a bunch of artists and van lifers and spending the night. In the car ride back to the station the next day, a van life woman in her early 40’s told me this:

“Local people are a little uncomfortable about things like tattoos or that I live in a van even though I can afford to rent an apartment, but they are genreally opening up to these things. Still if they see us with 6 cars gathering at 1 pm on a weekday and assume we are unemployed, and to them unemployed people gathering must be doing something illegal or dangerous, nevermind thet half of us have regular work with irregular hours.”

I know a lot of western people think its ok to ignore what other people think, and while I agree that we shouldn’t stop ourselves from living the life we want to live just because other people are merely bothered by the idea of it, I still want to create as good a conenctiont to the places I go. 

That means I have to have a good attitude first, understand the social and cultural terrain, and then do what I want while trying to make it as comfortable as I can for other people without compromising the important or fun parts. 

I don’t HAVE to care but I WANT to care because I want a world where we understand and respect each other more so I have to try to understand and respect other peoples close-mindedness without changing who and what I am.  I do not need to be offended by it when there are no real restrictions on how I behave. 

So these kinds of thoughts kept crossing my mind for the first hour of the trip as I walked through tiny villages and on the side of a highway, something which is very irregular for the people living here (everyone drives). It only intensified as I tried to get up the guts and positive attitude I needed to hitchhike. 

Finally at the midway point I tried. It took about 10 minutes before someone stopped, faster than I imagined considering how many cars there were. 

But the place I was going, as I would soon realize, was too hard to find for an elderly lady who isn’t used to driving anywhere outside her routine.  I gave up and ended ip walking the whole way. 

These weren’t the only thoughts in my head as I walked up and down the hills and through villages. It was aready after 3 PM after I stopped for lunch which meant it would get dark if I didn’t hurry. What happens if no one is there or no one is willing to give me a ride back to the station?  Will I get stuck walking back 10 kilometers in the woods at night?  How dangerous is that?

So past the halfway mark of the trek, as I start to resolve my thoughts around the social issues of challenging local people with a different lifestyle,  I realized just how ill-prepared I was for this itenerary. 

I should have left my house earlier and I should have skipped lunch at a reataruant and gotten a rice ball wt the convenience store instead. I realized I was missing a bunch of things I shouls have had too. I forgot insect repelent. I didn’t think to bring sunscreen but that was ok cause it was cloudy.  I brought a protable phone charger but the USB cable I brought was the wrong type. I also forgot a massage tool I often use a few times a day to resolve my back issues. 

Never mind a toothbrush which I didn’t know I’d need but should hsve brought or bought considering that intuition I had that I might not return home on the same say. 

Another thing on my mond was a desire to take as many photos and videos as I could. I love sharing things with friends and I spent the most interesting 5 years of my life trying not to use technology and have almost no photos or videos to show friends.   

I kept taking out my phone to record a short video whenever I saw something cool. Between checking the map, trying to get up the courage to hitchhike and all the thoughts about how other people might react to me, I was so busy. 

All these different kinds if thiughts popping up reminded me of my first time meditating. I used to try and fight these thoughts but now I know that the best thing is to let them be. The more you engage with them, the more complicated they become. Let them be and eventually they will run out. 

I guess next time I will be more prepared and my mind will be clearer. 

I started to think more about the way I approach life. Yes, I know, you probably think I should have been enjoying nature more, but I was doing that!  And at the same time, I was using it as a screen to project the distortions of my soul, those distortions that almost everyone has but are unique for each of us. 

This must have been what I came out here for!  Aside from the chance to meet interesting people and experience beauty, I needed to face these parts of myself!

I am often still frustrated at the fact that things don’t work out as planned and worried that more things won’t go as planned. I get overexcited about the good things in my life because they offer a kind of refuge from the things I don’t like. 

Really I want to be more stable. Not stable out of a a sense that I should be stable, but stable because I want to create a vibe. I want fun and excitement and meaning and ridiculous humor combined with a desire to understand more. 

I can only produce that vibe if I stop overthinking things. And what happens when I overthink things in one area is that i underthink things in another area.  

I miss something that I should be doing because I’m doing something else. I’m doing something else because I’m overthinking. I’m overthinking because I’m worried that things won’t work out. Things don’t work out because I missed something important. I missed something because I was busy focusing on things that didn’t matter as much to me. 

You see this tangled mess of a vicious cycle?  

Of course I’m way better than I’ve ever been, and sometimes I feel like I’ve got some things figured out better than almost anyone, but this kind introspection comes easiest when I treat life and everything in it as a mirror, the inside reflecting the outside and the outside. 

Everything worked out fabulously in the end.  If I had been slightly less easily distracted, I would have slept earlier the day before, woken up earlier and been able to take the whole trip slower, taking in everything more fully and with more preperation. 

I feel that life is a constant unfolding. It has it’s pleasant moments and its unpleasant moments, but all of these exist for us to learn from as we become more abd more able to sculpt our experience into whatever it is we are focused on.   

Can’t wait to head out there again!  

If you wanna join us to talk about “deep shit” cross culture and get to know each other, come check out [Be Awesome - deep shit](https://discord.gg/BzJXrcQ). No post promo, it’s just a place to get to know each other better. 

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## My Other Work:

### Novel series:
##### [Confessions of the Damaged](https://books2read.com/b/4ERDlE) - psychedelic novella series 


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### Untangled Knots Podcast:

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### [Merch/Support links etc.](https://linktr.ee/selfhelp4trolls)


Latest vlog:

How I surrounded myself with wonderful people
https://youtu.be/QE6o0mrvPr0

Music: 
https://youtu.be/lzA2RNef4EE