I dropped out of social media for 6 years. Gone. Poof. I think I popped in twice a year on average, but essentially it was just to message a few of the people I considered most important who were far away. 

That time I spent outside of the system (I was not just off social media but living on the outskirts of society in almost every possible way) was invaluable. I learned that people are capable of incredible kindness, that I could relate to almost anyone, and tapped into the flow of life. 

I came back only to find that interest in me and what I was doing had plummeted to 0. My life was probably more interesting than anyone I knew and yet nobody cared. It confused me for a while but I figured out that a combination of factors had made me invisible. The algorithms surely played a part but most of my friends were entering their 30’s, taking out mortgages and having kids, not really interested in much outside their immediate world. We’d talk for a few minutes to catch up and that was it. On top of that the internet had filled up with those seeking profit, some honestly and some not so honestly, and so everyone’s receptivity had been numbed. The attention economy is not all bad, but it forces you to compete if you want to have a voice. 

##### What can I say, I enjoy having a voice. 

“Fuck it”, I said.  I don’t care about likes.  I don’t need validation. But at the same time, I had started to think about finally becoming my own boss, and doing it more sustainably and comfortably than when I was drifting around without a plan. 

##### I realized that social media would be necessary for me if I wanted to free myself from having a boss. 

I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone, but without it, it’s a whole lot harder to survive, and with it, there are a lot of opportunities that open up. I respect people who refuse to play the game....but if you don’t play the game, you gotta put in the work. In order to survive without some sort of self promotion, you need to be so awesome and consistent that other people volunteer to do the work for you.  

Due to health issues I had not put in all the work and I had just moved back to Japan, where I was trying to rebuild a social life, working for a meager salary, and not really able to be so prolific that other people would do the work for me. I tried my best but the health issues made me very inconsistent. 

And so I resigned to play the game a little. I started learning about the algorithms a bit more, and started dipping my toes into mediums that I had always avoided. I never wanted to talk into a camera. I never wanted to create a brand.  I never wanted to think about how to reach more people. I just wanted to write and make music and find people to collaborate with, build community and have fun.  


I still don’t do things that make me feel like shit, but the difference between me now and me back then, is that now I ask myself a simple question, and let that decide for me

##### Will I grow from this?

I will play the game so far as it helps me become the person I want to be.  Once I start feeling like I’m becoming someone I don’t like, I change my approach. That doesn’t mean that I like everything right away, but if I don’t try it with an optimistic attitude, how the hell will I know?  Once or twice isn’t enough, I need to try it a few different ways and try to get better at it before I really know if it’s something I don’t like, or if I am creating unnecessary rules and boundaries for myself. 

I started making videos because it allowed me to become more comfortable with myself.  I still don’t edit them because I don’t enjoy the editing process and I have way too many other things to focus on. Once I get some other work out of the way, I think I may change my mind and learn how to edit.  By that point, perhaps I will find that I don’t even need to edit to reach the people I want to reach. 

I still don’t spend a ton of time formatting my blogs here because I want to find readers who like the content so much that they don’t require that. 

I became really active on Twitter for the first time last week. I came to the realization that everything I had learned at Hive would really help me grow a following there, and more importantly, I learned that I could do the things I enjoy there and that would suffice as a substitute for a marketing strategy. Making friends, giving guidance, sharing ideas, that’s what I like to do anyway.  I do it here. If I do it there, I can see a path towards a sustainable form of self employment, as it will connect me with exactly the kind of clients I’m looking for. 


![457D998C-0ACA-4FF8-84FF-73FA93B047AD.jpeg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/selfhelp4trolls/457D998C-0ACA-4FF8-84FF-73FA93B047AD.jpeg)


What excites me the most about it is how it’s challenging me to find ways to integrate all sides of myself and stop hiding being some wall of “professionalism” which I am shit at anyway. I’m knowledgeable and skilled enough at this point to not need any of that, and if I can show myself honestly to people BEFORE they become my client, I won’t have to be someone else while I am working. 

The clients I seek will come from Japan but I hope to connect with people on Twitter and YouTube from everywhere. There reason I don’t focus primarily on Japan is that I also want to become an onboarding ramp for new Hivesters. I love this community and want to help it grow. As I find people out there who can appreciate what I have to share, I can hopefully bring some of them to the community. 

Another reason I don’t focus solely on potential clients is that I want to merge my social and work life to the point that I can help connect people that otherwise would not have met. 

Here is the latest video I shared to YouTube. I would appreciate it if you could add me and like the video. I think if you read my blogs here you’ll enjoy everything I share there and find some value in it

https://youtu.be/--dfPvBYhEQ

I prefer to share on 3speak, and I will, but I am trying to give this YT channel a boost right now.  

While you are at it, I’m quite active on Twitter now, so if you are too, throw me a follow and I’ll follow you back, [ipluseverything / self help for trolls](https://twitter.com/ipluseverything/status/1405375605248380931?s=21)

##### Am i a sell out?  I don’t know. You tell me. I’m just trying my best to survive and thrive in this crazy world. And to enjoy as much of it as I can. ❤️ 



🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎

#### [Confessions of the Damaged](https://books2read.com/u/4ERDlE) - Out Now! 
![Confessions_of_the_Damaged_1.1_cover_final.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/selfhelp4trolls/23ynQgbGAb7DnahptZshVNzirgTRAfStGYRCxkPyBKMAMoVzyhC9ekiGC3QhHpJCNpeua.jpg)

#### 🎬[Self Help For Trolls](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoV0RMwHNxmiNVLJYO6_X8w)
#### 🎸[I + Everything](https://soundcloud.com/ipluseverything)
#### 📕 [Confessions of the Damaged](https://books2read.com/u/4ERDlE) OUT NOW :-)


![F4CD1B1ECCD442A1B52D9F956DCA8A5B.gif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/whatamidoing/BFuVk47W-F4CD1B1E-CCD4-42A1-B52D-9F956DCA8A5B.gif)

Come join us in [Hive Cross Culture](https://peakd.com/c/hive-181017/created) where we talk and share ideas about Culture, language and travel and share any bilingual content. [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/TawJWFn)

We also have a @crossculture account curating bilingual posts and running contests to support local communities.  If you like what we do, please consider delegating to @crossculture or follow our trail 🙂


🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱

I'm also getting much more involved with Natural Medicine, Hoping to help them connect and reward autonomous and conscious communities around the world.

Consider buying the LOTUS token at [leofinance.io](leofinance.io) 's LeoDex or posting at [naturalmedicine.io](naturalmedicine.io) where you can browse posts about healthy lifestyles, spirituality, farming, yoga, psychedelics, healing techniques and more.  All your posts will automatically appear at the Natural Medicine community at Hive and you can earn LOTUS and HIVE.

Help us spread the word by liking and sharing posts by Natural Medicine on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Lotus_Medicine) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lotus.medicine/)


![ErqYbnvU0AMeaO_.jfif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/whatamidoing/9uh3ppFz-ErqYbnvU0AMeaO_.jfif)