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Slowly building back a social life by selfhelp4trolls

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· @selfhelp4trolls ·
$10.37
Slowly building back a social life
I realize now that I don’t really have friends in our neighborhood. I have a community but those are not the same thing. 

You can have a great community woth no friends. Friends are people who you are close with individually and that isn’t required to be part of a community.  The community helps you feel more connected to your neighborhood or to a group with something in common. Friends can either let you explore each other and your interests deeply or just relax and be yourself with. 

Both are important. Most people have friends without a community. I have a community without friends. I mean I have tons of friends but none of them are physically near. I had two here in this neighborhood but one went to Germany and the other went across the city to move in with her boyfriend. 

I have lots of acquaintances who could become friends but we don’t feel that comfortable with each other or talk as openly. 

Yesterday when visiting my old neighborhood (the currently gentrified and overpriced version of where I live now) I stopped by to have a drink with a couple I hung out with a bit before the world got weird and realized they felt more like friends. I stopped in my old favorite shop which I’ve been visiting once a week, and the owner updated me on her life and while we’ve always had a bit of distance due to the fact that she has a high school aged kid and is 10 years older than me, we have a much closer relationship than the people in my neighborhood. 

The friends or acquaintances in my neighborhood seem to only want to hang out in a big group and get drunk, I kinda wanna just have one on one conversations and lift each other up so we can work harder towards our personal goals. I have no desire to sit and shoot the shit with the same people every day. 

This neighborhood was perfect when the hostel was open. I could meet new people and learn new things all the time, but it’s closed now. 


![pexels-arthouse-studio-4321311.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/selfhelp4trolls/23zGh3KGL4QGe3bgNHrEUnNN8RmLR3ntzvrbY9g6HRp1CKHZffJ6JMrJJa4uvSjnzqq6c.jpg)


I’m not complaining about my town. It’s cool. I like it. I’m just thinking that maybe I need to invite those friends from other areas to hang out here every once in a while. 

Another friend from that old neighborhood is a big bicycle guy so he will be coming tomorrow just to walk around my neighborhood. And two other friend will probably stop by next week to watch that new Beatles documentary together. 

I am going to try and do my best to reserve one day a week to socialize and to do it more strategically, and by that I mean make sure I’m hanging out with people who I haven’t seen in a while or who I have something to talk about with. 

I tend to think I don’t need that or that I need to focus on my own work or on my health more, but I feel my entire state of being change when I have just a little bit of healthy socialization to get the juices flowing. 

I really want to start an art jam more than anything.  I want to have creation happening around me. That’s what I miss more than anything. The problem is that Tokyo is big and expensive and people are in a habit of treated their creative process more like work, scheduled and private. 

I’ll have to do something about this. 

That’ll be my 2022 goal ☺️

🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎
## My work:
#### 📕 [Confessions of the Damaged](https://books2read.com/u/4ERDlE) psychedelic spiritual fiction
#### 🎸[I + Everything](https://soundcloud.com/ipluseverything) - ambient folky music
#### 🎬[Self Help For Trolls](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoV0RMwHNxmiNVLJYO6_X8w) - vlog



##### Confessions of the Damaged 1.1    -  Out now!
![Confessions_of_the_Damaged_1.1_cover_final.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/selfhelp4trolls/23ynQgbGAb7DnahptZshVNzirgTRAfStGYRCxkPyBKMAMoVzyhC9ekiGC3QhHpJCNpeua.jpg)






https://youtu.be/cfjCagMwoVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alq2sB-QwUY&t=3s





![F4CD1B1ECCD442A1B52D9F956DCA8A5B.gif](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/whatamidoing/BFuVk47W-F4CD1B1E-CCD4-42A1-B52D-9F956DCA8A5B.gif)

Come join  [Hive Cross Culture](https://peakd.com/c/hive-181017/created)  and [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/TawJWFn)

Please consider delegating to @crossculture or following our trail 🙂


🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 38 others
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vote details (102)
@bhoa ·
$0.14
> I am going to try and do my best to reserve one day a week to socialize and to do it more strategically

This is a great idea. Most people get busy that they forget to socialize and in the end, loneliness tends to set in.

I should do this too. I am always busy at work that I most times forget to talk to my real guys 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@selfhelp4trolls ·
I'm a creature of momentum. I need to read my work for a few minutes first before I can get into write. Need to talk to people for a few minutes to remember how much I like them.  

Yeah, let’s get out there,once a week is enough, even once every two weeks as long as it’s the people we wanna meet
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@ecency ·
Your content has been **voted** as a part of [Encouragement program](https://ecency.com/ecency/@good-karma/encouragement-program-continues-82eafcd10a299). Keep up the good work! <br><br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for new Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B197%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)
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@etiboy56 ·
Yes I truly agree with you boss you need to focus on your work and thanks for sharing this post
👎  
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vote details (1)
@iskafan ·
$0.14
Never build fortress around yourself, isolation is not good.... This is my favorite author advices. 

You really need to get out more and make friends. No man is an island. At some point, you'll realize we all need people and I hope it wouldn't be too late for you. 

Please, pursue this social life you are intending to build onward. I encourage you @selfhelp4trolls 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@selfhelp4trolls ·
I've built a social life many times but I also moved many times so it's difficult to maintain. Don't worry. I always have some great people to talk to if I need them. ☺️
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@iskafan ·
That's okay. You just do what makes you happy. Cheers. ❤️
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@kenechukwu97 ·
$0.24
Remember when we talked about my plan to relocate?

I'm now in the southern part of the country and almost everything they do here is different from how it is in the East starting from their food to the language and a great part of the lifestyle.

I don't have any friend here but I'm on the good book of many people in town. 

I could have made a lot of friends though, but to be honest, I can't squeeze out time for that at the moment because everything on my mind is how to legitimately get myself out of Nigeria.

No time for physical catch-up or so. BTW, I will be attending Hive Naija meet-up on 29th. That would be a good chance to see some of my Nigerian folks.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@selfhelp4trolls ·
$0.10
Just make sure you don't forget to enjoy the present too. My partner always says something that translates to "slower can be faster", like sometimes by trying to hurry stuff up you can actually slow it down.  I like that. 

I'm the same as you, I want to focus entirely on becoming sustainable and living somewhere that is both city and nature, but I find the process is much more fun when I spend at least twice a month with people I enjoy or talking to new people. Play is where energy comes from!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@khaleesii ·
$0.13
I also don't have friends in my neighborhood but I feel like it is my fault because I barely speak to people, I don't think I will make effort though because I live in a neighborhood filled with men, and most I have spoken to always have intentions.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@selfhelp4trolls · (edited)
Arrr I wish it was easier. This is why I never liked clubs. I don't have a problem if people want to play like that but there needs to be respect and responsibility in order for everyone to feel comfortable and that's not how people function in most clubs. 

That's what I like about some of the cafes/bars in Tokyo.  In order to stay close with the community you have to be decent, and that includes not harassing anyone or misleading them. 

There really aren't any women around?
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@khaleesii ·
There are women but I am considered an "Ajebota" in most places so I can't keep up with them.
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@pizzabot ·
<center>PIZZA! 


PIZZA Holders sent <strong>$PIZZA</strong> tips in this post's comments:
@samostically<sub>(4/5)</sub> tipped @selfhelp4trolls (x1)


<sub>Please <a href="https://vote.hive.uno/@pizza.witness">vote for pizza.witness</a>!</sub></center>
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@samostically ·
$0.14
I have alot of friends here and guess what? I'm planning to leave this place. 

I believe you just need to go out more often, time will you give you friends.  

!PIZZA
👍  
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vote details (1)
@selfhelp4trolls ·
Why are you leaving?  I am sure I can find friends in the neighborhood or even in the community. I know people willing to be friends but our lifestyles are just so different and play mode is so different. It’s ok though. 
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@samostically ·
> Why are you leaving? 

I want to go to somewhere that i can focus, i have too many distractions here.

> play mode is so different

I can only wonder how you play? Serious play maybe 😅

![untitled.gif](https://media.tenor.com/images/bacc4593d39618ab0de22f6acf634765/tenor.gif)
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