你走了 by tanlikming

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

hive-105017 · @tanlikming · Dec 4 '21

$73.41

你走了

![IMG_20211205_030107.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmbLBRKD5u9UaRnvs2uQ4piy5AnhJMrbXbX5BpYMLBmgsJ/IMG_20211205_030107.jpg)

你走了，
看着你满身伤痛皮肤溃烂的臭皮囊，
还有那因五度中风意识不清醒的头脑，
我自私的幻想坚持让你活着，
妄想让你通过痛苦不堪的治疗过程来恢复健康，
或者这才是我最大的自私，
十七年来，
我已经尽最大的努力尽量做到每周带你去找我认可的良医，
我妄想像十七年前遇到康医师一样，
可以通过中医手段让你把体内的淤血吐到满厕所那样康复起来，
但康医师几年前也不在了，
像这样医术高明的中医师，
我也不知道要去哪里给你找，
满大街的中医馆，
都是只会治疗头晕咳嗽的中医师，
还有一堆商业味道浓厚治疗手段的中医馆，
我不客气的说，
难怪至今有许多人看不起中医，
唉。。。算了！
或许是康医师的医术超群出众吧？


![IMG_20211204_130629.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmddafPU77u2jzdtpLmsfKhVGuKmqTLUpVMaaFFU584etJ/IMG_20211204_130629.jpg)


二十五年来，
你第一次中风到第三次中风为止，
每一次一周住院期间的漫长夜晚都是我陪你度过的，
我头脑不灵光，读书也不好，
空有一身的牛脾气和牛力，
没做过让你觉得骄傲又能到处炫耀自己孩子的事，
但至少我每次能在你有事情发生时，
[别怕！有我在！]
二十五年来，我做到了！
爸！别怕！有我在！
今天中午时分来到床前已经断气的你，
我坚持在我父亲的额头上亲吻，
然后轻声的对你说：“别怕！有我在！”
这或许是我唯一的骄傲吧？
我做到了，我终于做到底了，
你看？
我没有你向外人说的那样我只有三分钟热度吧？

你为我做的报生纸，
我为你做的报死纸，
救护车人员和我说，
经过确认之后，
证实你已经断气了，
他们也不需要带你回去医院，
身体皮肤都溃烂成那样了，
还需要带回去咩？！
到警察局报案时，
警察问你需要带父亲去医院解剖吗？
我说都痛成那样了，
就别带回去医院吧？
警察看了你的照片之后也认同了，
在你的报死纸上签名时，
我想起了一个月前在医院签的授权书，
一年也没写几个字的我生起了仪式感，
在警察局里我要规规矩矩的为你的报死纸上签名，
我亲手签的名！
艳阳天底下，
我的身体是冷的，背脊发凉的冷，
想要继续做有爸的孩子的希望落空了，
我居然在棺材店亲手为你挑选棺木，
过去，这都是你们大人的事，
爷爷的棺木就是你们去挑选的，
店家问我可以吗？
我反问自己，可以吗？

我从来不看这些所谓规矩的，
抬棺木走过时头别抬起来，
要回避，要四次站立跪拜，
因为你选择了道教仪式，
我只好配合这个游戏，
当棺材店的人说叫我回避，
他们要抬你进棺材时，
我说我可以吗？
虽然我的脚踝因为尿酸疼了半年，
我也不确定有没有那个信心能做到，
但这是我最后唯一能为你做的事了，
我责无旁贷的坚持抬你上去，
连我弟在内，为什么要四个人抬你呢？
我也不知道，
你在医院住院期间，比我胖的你，
我一个人就可以把你抱上病床，
扛重物我从来没怕过谁，
要亲手抬自己父亲进棺材这种体验相信到我断气前永远都忘不了，
就像是我当初坚持在妻子旁边亲眼看着我两个孩子出世一样，
“有我在！别怕！”
生活上我可能无法完善的提供物质资金，
可能也没有很多学历上的炫耀，
我也没有胆大到遇事不怕的能力，
但我尽量做到在大是大非事情上有我参与，
我虽然脚软，但我绝对不会走，
都脚软了，哪里还走得了？

好吧！就写到这里。


![IMG_20211205_025937.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmfUqPavgJRm2mUEemXELjcM1AuDGLgsZRuBKn3xCBchyX/IMG_20211205_025937.jpg)

👍 abit, sweetsssj, tipu, deanliu, oflyhigh, ecency, steembasicincome, helene, winniex, arcange, boatymcboatface, exec, davidke20, mrspointm, midnightoil, bxt, cnstm, ethansteem, cherryng, lingfei, celeste413, theshell, wherein, good-karma, laruche, lovelingling, laoyao, gamer00, everlandd, ying82, a-secondchance, bboyady, steemegg, demo123, sasaadrian, kingscrown, idx, esteemapp, kimzwarch, lovelemon, abcallen, thedailysneak, xiaohui, steemitboard, walterjay, jennyliao, sneakyninja, veenang, fengchao, dappstats, htliao, sbi-tokens, namchau, joeliew, amatom, babysavage, ravensavage, zerofive, anikys3reasure, bichen, liriadis, qwertm, longer, cryptogambit, and 23 others
👎 spaminator, meritocracy

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spaminator	-6,970,857,564	-0.25%
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bboyady	14,117,847,971	50%
veenang	5,466,299,394	15%
davidke20	119,069,522,838	100%
esteem.app	1,001,121,997	3.02%
namchau	3,639,439,996	70%
winniex	339,849,150,298	100%
afzalqamar	529,380,256	10%
sneakyninja	5,801,136,570	10.26%
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yumisee	797,231,672	50%
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cherryng	52,101,367,375	100%
iipoh06	510,709,916	100%
anikys3reasure	2,339,192,464	25.62%
kymio	523,414,373	3.75%
archisteem	1,255,068,643	7.5%
longer	1,533,791,344	5%
abcallen	7,939,599,671	30%
thedailysneak	7,789,672,252	10.26%
pboulet	684,927,356	0.7%
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ravensavage	2,475,085,738	20.53%
bichen	1,856,128,834	100%
sasaadrian	12,335,438,683	20%
wherein	35,212,799,800	50%
shainemata	673,272,881	1%
zerofive	2,376,151,480	100%
demo123	13,764,812,440	100%
steemegg	13,959,409,440	50%
tagalong	714,457,986	100%
cnstm	70,588,171,789	50%
a-secondchance	14,856,780,896	100%
lovelemon	8,227,480,859	20%
ying82	16,503,795,599	100%
cryptogambit	1,444,869,138	7.5%
jalentakesphotos	461,585,436	10%
sbi-tokens	3,644,118,576	20.53%
dappstats	3,988,646,377	15%
qwertm	1,624,669,839	25.62%
jennyliao	5,962,954,402	100%
julesquirin	592,417,667	4%
fengchao	4,731,205,233	2%
laruche	31,756,017,295	0.7%
kiemis	666,564,688	1.28%
ecency	1,199,260,704,685	3.02%
ecency.stats	1,257,466,600	3.02%
blogstats	511,109,092	100%
liriadis	1,815,579,155	25.62%
meritocracy	-2,156,718,732	-0.02%
camillawinebar	619,011,005	10%
dibblers.dabs	602,151,635	0.75%
amatom	3,450,890,131	100%
lovelingling	28,858,667,139	100%
everlandd	19,438,244,173	100%
celeste413	37,243,071,945	100%
sovstar	871,829,058	10.26%
lazy001	1,141,076,314	100%
ting7526	0	100%
princessj190	959,179,533	10%

@annepink · Dec 4 '21

力名节哀！保重！🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@tipu curate

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@tanlikming · Dec 4 '21

谢谢萍萍

👎 spaminator

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@tipu · Dec 4 '21

<a href="https://tipu.online/hive_curator?annepink" target="_blank">Upvoted  &#128076;</a> (Mana: 46/66) <a href="https://peakd.com/hive/@reward.app/reward-app-quick-guide-updated" target="_blank">Liquid rewards</a>.

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@cherryng · Dec 6 '21

節哀。@tanlikming 保重。

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@tanlikming · Dec 6 '21

有心

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@deanliu · Dec 5 '21

節哀。保重。

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@tanlikming · Dec 5 '21

有心

👎 spaminator

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@ecency · Dec 5 '21

**Yay!** 🤗<br>Your content has been **boosted with Ecency Points**, by @davidke20. <br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for new Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B197%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)

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@lovelingling · Dec 5 '21

今天才看到，实在抱歉，力哥，节哀顺变，你是你父亲的骄傲，字里行间我也能感受到您对您父亲的爱。望保重身体。

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@tanlikming · Dec 5 '21

有心
我的都部份不算什么
我只是做了我的本分罢了

👎 spaminator

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@mrspointm · Dec 5 '21

阿力节哀顺变 对老人来说这也许是种解脱 去往西方极乐 保重身体喔

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@tanlikming · Dec 5 '21

有心
我的心情此刻充满了各种矛盾
无奈偏多一些

👎 spaminator

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@ying82 · Dec 5 '21

力名哥节哀！🙏🙏🙏
你爸去了极乐世界，那里没有病痛折磨。

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@tanlikming · Dec 5 '21

有心

👎 spaminator

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@tanlikming · Dec 5 '21

是的
他终于可以解脱了
我舍不得他
但更不舍他疼痛万分

👎 spaminator

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