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Data. It is probably the most valuable resource in the world today, as everything is driven by the numbers. And, through these numbers we are able to dissect the world into ever finer slices, so that we can better target, better track, collect more numbers, and refine again. But, where does it end and what is the cost to society, and the individual?

![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/tarazkp/23x16vwaxEq7zGaubV6eXM8HPA3e8ojY4i1Gw5QiXkmBHRFbcnu6Rzyy1SZMx5QnBbECK.png)

With some clients the other day we were talking about [AI and robotics,](https://hive.blog/hive-126152/@tarazkp/stop-the-press) which I wrote a little about. However, there were several side conversations, with one of them being the loss of skills through the usage of [competitive cognitive artefacts](https://philosophicaldisquisitions.blogspot.com/2016/09/competitive-cognitive-artifacts-and.html) that effectively replace our need to learn skills, by filling the need with a tool, like a calculator, rather than doing the math in the head. We are creatures of convenience, and we will continually develop tools to remove the effort and energy needed to learn, but we don't always understand the ramifications of doing so. 

For instance, I brought up how people date these days, where they are using tools to not only meet, but also to court a prospective partner. Apps like Tinder, and then all of the digital search support to flesh out content and build a false personality, means that the portrayal and the reality of an individual, can be very different. But, there is more to it than this, because these tools reduce our skills in other areas, where we no longer have to be "immediate" with our response, we get time to think through, to search, to adjust, before we reply. These gives us a lot of leeway to fundamentally change the impression we make, whilst also removing the chance for our prospective partner to see our reaction live. 

But, it is more than is, isn't it? My clients were talking about how "fragile" many of the younger people are these days, where they not only carry a sense of entitlement and confidently believe they are the greatest thing to have lived, but are simultaneously unable to take any kind of criticism, to overcame even slight discomfort, or deal with rejection. It is like their sensitivity has been turned up, but their ability to manage what they experience has been turned down, in an environment where they are emotionally reactive, without the presence to process their feelings first. 

> Ever been rejected?

Ever had the experience of building up enough courage to approach a person you find attractive, trying to say something witty or clever, or just hello, fumbling over the words, blushing, feeling a fool, and then being rejected by the other person to your face? 

> I have.

And, I think that at least most guys in my age group who met people face to face pre-internet, in the most vulnerable stages of their life, during the teen years, has had some kind of experience with rejection, and failure, and the soul-crushing embarrassment that comes with it often being in front of friends, and others. 

> Yet, here we are. We survived.

Ever thought how important these kinds of experiences are to have in order to build our skillsets? In just a simple interaction like that, there are a whole cluster of lessons to learn, for behaviors to uncover, of feelings to rise, reactions to reflect upon, and steps to try for *next time.* Because, there is a next time, where even after crushing defeat, a person has to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get back out there. 

Yet today, what lessons are being learned in a world that is looking to lower the bar for people to meet, but not improve the quality of the interactions, because they aren't developing the personal and interpersonal skills required to not only get together, but build and maintain relationships into the future. It is quite obvious really, because Millennials and Gen-Z'ers are posting content about how "sick and over" they are when it comes to hookup culture. 

> They are sick, in my opinion.

Hookup culture is so prevalent because of a lack of skill, a lack of emotional maturity, and a lot of fear of commitment - and this has come about through building a society that has made meeting more convenient, easier, more "tailored" to the person. Have you ever heard that opposites attract? Sure, but that isn't the whole story is it, as there generally has to be similarities in fundamental areas for two people to successfully be in a long relationship. But, these applications that people use, where people are able to "demand" particular traits and have algorithms do the search, aren't geared to actually connecting people who should be together, but rather, those who could spend a night together, but not much more. 

> Dating apps don't want long-term, committed relationships. 

All these numbers aren't engineered to make a healthier and stronger community, they are there to make more money, to drive profits, to sell products, and to have people keep coming back. They haven't just filled a gap in the market, they have filled a gap in interpersonal skills, and taken away a lot of the lessons that we might *have to learn* in order to becomes well-rounded, mature adults. 

As I have said for a long time in regards to the younger generations, my own included (Gen-X), is that we are continually trying to extend our childhood, to hold onto the desires of youth, and postpone taking responsibility. Part of this Peter Pan style of aging, means that we have built tools that can protect us from the more difficult experiences, and the direct disappointments of life, by interacting through screens and memes, rather than eye to eye. 

I have spoken a bit about this over the years, and there are lots of people who have mentioned that it is smart to avoid pain, to avoid discomfort, and relationships come with a lot of pain, and risks. There are the emotional pains, and the financial pains, as well as the social pains that come with the various attempts and failures. 

But if a baby avoids pain, it will never learn to stand, to walk, to run. It will never learn the core skills that not only make it useful in the world to others, but able to get that sense of personal satisfaction of growth and relevancy. And, it is folly to think that all we will ever learn of value in life, can be acquired through the proxy of a tool that perform the jobs for us. 

This is only a sliver of the impacts that this very wide range of tools are making on us daily in ways that we will likely not understand, until we reflect back in hindsight and recognize where it all went wrong. Life as a human is complex, not complicated - yet we are trying to make our lives easier with algorithms that will never meet all the needs of the complex human life, but assume they are.

The numbers are of limited use.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]



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